Elders never visit

by rhett 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • rhett

    Am I the only one here who has never gotten hardly any shit from the elders? True, I was never baptized but I was JW for 21 years (born into it). I was able to weasel my way out of various meetings for about a year then I got married and moved out of my parents house and just totally stopped going all together. I never heard from anyone about anything. I wasn't visited by the elders or anything. After about a year and a half I emailed one of the elders and told him to pass it on to everyone else that they can take their cult and shove it. I once got a call from the KH but that was during the time one of my best friends was being DF'd for apostacy and I wasn't home and wasn't left a message (gotta love caller ID). I live within a few blocks of my KH too. Well, I did get a visit one time but that was only because they were out in service and apparently didn't realize whose house they were at (that was fun). I actually kind of wish they would come pay me one more official visit to either try to get me back or threaten me just so I could tell them to shove it to their faces.
    Is my experience the only one out there like this?

    I don't need to fight
    To prove I'm right
    I don't need to be forgiven.

  • LB

    Well without ever being baptized the elders have little control over you. The most they could do is to announce you as a bad association. That won't happen unless you are hanging out with witnesses.

    Count your blessings there. Many people live in fear of those jerks.

    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

  • roybatty

    No offense but why would you want the elders to stop by? Just to give them some shi*? Maybe I'm just having a flash back to when I was an elder. Just always irked me when someone told me to shove it up my *** and then bitch to his or her family that the elders never stopped by.
    Anyway, the elders in your area probably have their hands full chasing after all the ones who are baptized. I don't ever remember calling on someone who was unbaptized unless they were working toard baptism.

  • expatbrit


    I stopped going Oct 2000, and since then I've received one 5 minute call by one elder. Conversation was completely non-descript, with one half-hearted invite to the Sunday meeting. That's it!

    I think as usual it depends completely on the type of elder body in your locale. Mine are busy family men or elderly chaps, therefore not much time or inclination to climb the company ladder.

    Also, I timed my exit pretty carefully, ceasing attendance a couple of months after moving into the congregation, so they weren't exactly all thinking "hey, where's Expatbrit?" Timing is important, I think.

    Now watch me get a call tonight!


  • teejay

    I'm with you, rhett.

    And a little pissed. I've got all kinds of spiritual ammo here, stacked neatly in the corner and ready to go but covered by dust and cobwebs.

    I've got everything from small arms (Jimmy Swaggart; flip flops; date settings and failure) to the really big and lethal nuclear devices (UN; pedophilia) but I haven't seen hide nor hair from a single elder in more 'n five years. I feel left out and I'm not happy about it, 'neither.

    I mean... I wasn't raised around here but elders in several congos know me personally and I venture to say that most of 'em know my status. Seems like SOMEBODY would call on me. I don't remember doing anything to make 'em shy away the way they have.

    All I can say is do what I keep doing: Keep your head up, bruh. If you're lucky, maybe your time will come and they'll pay you a visit. Won't that be a happy day?!!

  • BluesBrother

    Hi Rhett,

    Elders just dont do their jobs any more, like the other poster Iam just waiting , I have told them that I would love to chat any time, but do they want to have a meaningful discussion? like hell! they would much rather see sister elderly who will give them tea and cake, or bro.Pioneer who will tell them they are wonderful

    I have posted elswhere on this subject and I know that if I were them, I would have a conscience about ignoring an ex elder who last reported over 2 years ago

    In your case being not baptized made a difference because you were not on their official list of publishers. In my case, having moved to this area so they dont know me well ,would have a bearing; but it should not- if they were genuine.

    When the day comes they will get the lot!

  • Rex B13
    Rex B13

    Hi Rhett,
    They leave me alone too. I am also very visible in my church activities and occasionally present my experiences to various churches. I have heard they might not want to hear the 'new light' I have about their beliefs. ;-)

  • teenyuck

    Hi Rhett-

    I was baptised when I was 13. Dropped out when I was about 20. Not once did an elder or anyone visit or ask my mother why I was no longer going to the meetings or out in service. I am glad.

    Having moved all over the country over the last 12 years (my husbands job) my mother has had the locals call on me the first three towns I lived in: Columbus, OH, Sacaramento, CA, Florence, KY. She gave up when I moved to Kansas; and when I told her I would really give them a hard time if they showed up for a "field call" on a Saturday morning.

    I think my going to college, initially, made them afraid to confront me.

    "I used to be Snow White, then I drifted." Mae West

  • rhett

    Well, its not that I really would look forward to seeing them again or anything like that, its just that I spent a long time around these people and then basically just dropped off the face of the earth. They never stopped to ask why I did so. If I were in a group of people for years and years and then all of a sudden one of them was just never around anymore I'd wonder what the hell happened to them. Guess it just goes to show the oh so warm loving caring they always talk about.
    Not that it really matters now but also I would like to go back to one of the counselings that I had so many of back when I still believed and just tell them to shove it. So it might take some of their time and be hassle for them. So friggin what?!?! They took a lot of my time and it was definitely a hassle for me so I would LOVE to return the favor to them.

    I don't need to fight
    To prove I'm right
    I don't need to be forgiven.

  • orangefatcat

    when you need the elders they were no where around, i asked them for assistance to help me deal with my fanatical exhusband who only believed in saving the world but not his own son. I praactically begged for help, big laugh.
    Mind you when i left my ex and the org, they wanted to see me and i refused because they only want to get facts about our marriage etc and my adultery. I nevere ever went before the judical committee i refused to see them because when i did need them they were'nt there for me.
    my 23 year old son is my greatest gift, he has stood by me through thick and thin and my ex lost his sons respect for what he did to me.
    my son is not in the org and never intended to be, because he always saw his father as a fanatic, who cared nothing for his own family.

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