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Men's Age, as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot
by FlyingHighNow 23 Replies latest social humour
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GLTirebiter
More stereotypes for Saturday morning...
Men's marital status, as determined by the things they say during a trip to Home Depot:
- Single: Though he came to get a faucet handle, now he's browsing the tool aisle, eyeing the top-of-the-line selections. Hey, this is a lifetime investment, not some piece of cheap throw-away junk. "That is so cool! I need one of these!"
- Engaged/newlywed: Easy to spot, because she's with him. They're out together picking designer paint colors, wallpaper, and other decorating items for their first home together. "Yes, honey, I think we can afford that!"
- Married: He's got the kids in tow and carries a shopping list (not in his own handwriting). Periodically pulls out the cell phone and dials. "Darling, they don't have that one in the ad. The other brand costs $20 more. Can we afford it?"
- Newly separated: Scrounges the bargain and sale bins looking for the lowest priced household items for his empty apartment. Pulls out his wallet and counts the cash three times to see if it's enough. "Can't write a check, because payday isn't until Friday."
- Divorced: Resembles "single", but he's older, has a shopping list (in his own handwriting), and sticks to the mid-range brands. Sighs while passing up the deluxe DeWalt set, picks up the plain vanilla Makita instead. "I could have bought two DeWalts with that last alimony check!"
- Long married: You won't see him. His son-in-law is doing the job--that's him at the check-out stand reserved for contractors. "No weekend off for me. Need to fix up the in-laws' kitchen before the holidays."
- Widowed: Carefully carries a swatch of faded, peeled wallpaper. Asks the clerk to help special-order this same outdated, discontinued floral pattern. "I know it's old, but I have to find some more. It was Dolores' favorite!"
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skeeter1
GL, so true, especially the Widowed. Has me sad.
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GLTirebiter
Thanks skeeter!