While You Were A JW Did You Feel Controlled?

by minimus 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • littlebird

    I felt protected at first, I was 16 when I started studying and came out of a really bad home life. As time went on, I realized conscience matters werent really up to us, and evidently I seemed to always stumble someone, so then I felt controlled.

  • Casper

    Totally felt controlled.

    I was a convert, and used to having my freedom... once I became a witness it was a though I had been thrown in a cage and the door locked.

    Every move we made was watched and commented on, it seemed. I couldn't take it anymore and that's the "MAIN" reason I left. I could no longer live in box.

    Freedom is worth it to me.


  • jamiebowers

    Yes. I was in an abusive, terror filled marriage, and no matter how bad it got, the elders bullied me into staying. That is until my evil "worldly" co-workers overheard my jw husband threatening to kill me, and they talked me into taking protective action.

  • crapola

    Only all the time!

  • EmptyInside

    Well, not until recently. I never thought of it before as being controlled. It was just something else to feel guilty about and have to work on. But, now, with the recent information about how to keep your hands to yourself during prayer. And at my hall, the elders treating us like children by couseling us not to read the information board during the meeting. It's all become a bit too much. Don't know how much more I can take.

  • MissingLink

    There were always a dozen "faithful ones" in the congregation with nothing better to do with their free time than give unsolicitied "council".

    I would have felt controlled if I ever gave a rats ass what any of them thought of me. I would just laugh. Is that bad?

    Some of my best woosie former "friends" ARE controlled in every detail of their lives. I did wish they'd grow some balls.

  • myownlife

    But, now, with the recent information about how to keep your hands to yourself during prayer.

    Emptyinside - got to know what this is about.....please please tell me!

    I was a born in and as I got older didn't like the way I was controlled by my mother and the elders.

    In my old congregation - they would drive around and look for familiar cars and snoop on what everyone was doing!!! If they saw your car at a house they didn't know, they would start asking around and check the phonebook and call them....unfreakingbelievable! I was 'silently reproved' because my car was at someone's house they didn't know and assumed I was doing the dirty with some worldly boy.....I was visiting a female school friend - which was worse! LOL!

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Yes very much

  • LongHairGal

    At the very beginning, I didn't see it as control but that I had to 'conform' to bible based rules that were for my own good. For example, I had to stop smoking and get rid of bad habits. That was a good thing.

    What really sounded the alarm bell inside my head was when they started to criticize my clothing. It wasn't bad really. My skirt was slightly below my knee but there was a six-inch slit and some homely elder-wanna-be made sure I got a talking to. I became aware for the first time that they had serious issues about women. Some time after that it was 'suggested' I quit my office job and do housecleaning. Here I am, a U.S. citizen with an education and skills and these people are telling me I should do something that was clearly not wise. And mind you, the people telling me this are comfortable retirees - among them some housewives who never worked a day in their lives.

    I felt as if they expected me to jump from a plane without a parachute. I did not take their insane leap of faith and I had no intention of pursuing poverty just to be acceptable to anybody there. I also was well aware that a woman has a small window of time to either get married or get a career. I didn't see any marriageable men for me and I had no intention of hooking up with some oddball. I knew I had to support myself. So, how could I follow this insanity?

    I had no intention of ending up in the bad circumstances some single women are in. They end up impoverished (if they have no family) and they are targeted by users in the religion who wrongly believe that single people have 'no resonsibilities or problems'. Sadly, a single woman would be the LAST person to receive help.

    Even though nobody said as much, I detected that my refusal to allow them to intrude in my life or control me resulted in my being marginalized to a large degree. It also didn't help that I am outspoken. I did have some friends, but for the most part I was not a part of the 'in-crowd' of super-spiritual 'heavies'. No loss really. I had an aversion to these over-righteous busybodies. They made me nauseous and some of them I never even had a conversation with in all the years I was there.

    It was really tough being in this religion because I never really fit in and am glad it is OVER now.

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