My ex husband makes me feel bad:(

by Newborn 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Newborn

    for leaving him (1.5 y ago) and for being a person he doesn't recognize anymore for leaving the org.

    he still has feelings for me and still grieves every day that we're not together...I know it shouldn't get to me but it does...I had no choice but to leave him...I was so miserable for so many reasons but when I hear how sad he is it makes me sad. (we have to have some contact coz of the apartment we lived in, unfortunately). I just wish he could move on but he says he can't even look at another woman.

    also, of course, he had to say that Jehovah still loves me and that the end is sooooooooo near, just look at Haiti! Gee!

    Now, this sucks!!

    Hope you're having a great weekend!! It's been a while folks.

    your friend


  • LittleSister

    Hi Newborn sorry to hear your ex is making you feel bad.

    Some relationships just aren't ment to be and it seems that you know in your heart this was one of them.

    Take heart in time things will get better and you made the right choice.

  • WuzLovesDubs

    Well having just moved out of the house from my estranged JW husband after 22 years of marriage I can relate to this. He "stopped" even being civil to me and when I was unhappy about anything he would always say "What did you expect? You left Jehovah!" And a person can only take so much of that. Its abuse. The condition of him being "happy" apparently was me having to eat shit and come back to the Kingdom Hall apparently. And even when I WAS an active JW we were NOT thats not even an option.

    His happiness is NOT my responsibility. All that guilt crap is just so you will feel bad. I think they enjoy making us feel bad. I dont hear in your post that he misses YOU and wants YOU back and wants the RELATIONSHIP back...only that he wishes you would go back to the Borg??

  • creativhoney

    I know how you feel Newborn, I have a very similar thing with my Ex and we have kids. its hard.

  • mouthy

    Well lets give him the benifit of the doubt. Maybe he loves you very much...
    But He really believes that you MUST believe his god is the only way to go
    I would tell him straight off "I DONT BELIVE THE WT IS RIGHT,

    Who knows maybe you could love him again if he had his own mind


  • palmtree67

    I am in a similar situation, too.

    Wish I had something profound to say, but I don't. Just wanted you to know, I'll be thinking of you. Be strong. The hardest part is over - you left him.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    My ex husband makes me feel bad:(

    If he was worth having, he would make you feel good.



  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    I feel for you, i have been where you are. To leave my wife to overcome extreme unhappiness was the single most hard thing i have ever done. She did not deserve it, nor really do anything to cause it. The pain she went through was heartbreaking. Most people cannot fathom the why? My guilty feelings took a long time to get over. She still loved me for a long time. Even after my D/Fing she wanted to try again. I just could not return to somebody i could not honestly love anymore, nor who would not accept the new me. Unfortunatly she then turned it into the most vitriolic hate i have also ever experienced even after she remarried.

    His happiness is not your responsability.

    hope it gets easier for you. It took me the better part of 3 years to get over it...


  • etna

    Sorry to hear that Newborn, but things do get better and I hope it works out for you.


  • Newborn

    Thanks to you all! It helps. I really just want to move on with my life and not have to feel guilt over him anymore. He's a grown up man!

    Mouthy, I did tell him that but as you know, there's no way to reason with these people in an adult way. it's their way or the high way. grrrr

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