My Experience Growing up as a JW

by MissSC 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • MissSC

    I have never really shared my experience growing up as a JW, but feel it is time to share. I am 26 years old and was raised as a JW from birth. I left the JW when I was 14 by actions and 21 by a written letter, because I was baptised at the age of 11.

    I left the JW because of the circumstances surronding my parents divorce. My "best friends" growing up started avoided me, because I slipped and said d***. Then the division became final when it became "public" knowledge that my father abused me sexually. Apparently, they blamed me for what happened and felt I had done something wrong. Their father said they were young (15) and needed to be shelter from such things so he felt no need to explain to them that what happened was not my fault. Mom thought I was having sex and drug me to a Gyn telling him I was sexually active - when I was not. Then she told others what she thought I was doing. During this time she became physically violent and I started realizing that several of her JW friends were violent too. One "sister" said that I was a whore when I shaved with her razor while staying at her house.

    As time went on, my mom left the JW's (she was df due to smoking and becoming involved with non JW man). Then she stood by the JW teachings, but would not going to meetings and such. After this, I tried staying a JW for a while, but finally left.

    The pain, hurt, trauma, and mixture of other feelings that exist is too much to talk about. I have moved on with my life. However, there are feelings of resentment I feel that are too great to explain. I am finally able to attend college full time - I have been attending part time for several years now. The funny thing is my mom is proud I am going to college - I am aiming for a MA in History and my Phd in Theology. My self esteem has finally reached normal levels over the past few years.

    I worry daily about my mom, because she sticks by these teachings of false prophets on a daily basis and says she will go back when she is living her life the way Jehovah wants her to. I want her to understand the true meaning of the love of God and Jesus, but she is so brain washed by these people that it is scary.

    Thanks for listening.... reading.

  • jaysong

    Welcome MissSC,

    Thank you for sharing your story here. And bravo for pursuing your education----an MA in History should be incredibly interesting, studying the real history of the world and not the little bits and pieces the WTS fed us growing up.

    Others here too feel the pain and trauma you speak of. We feel it every time we meet someone that has life-long friends from their youth, while ours won't even acknowledge our existence as human beings...

    ...we feel it when we are depressed or things just don't seem right because we suffer from a form of post-traumatic stress and it expresses itself through our physical bodies...

    You are not alone... just remember that...(((hugs)))


  • Angharad

    Welcome MissSC, sorry for what you've been through. Good luck with your education.

  • BluesBrother

    Welcome aboard! That was a powerful first post and a shocking story .my heart goes out to you.
    Like you I was brought up in the "Truth" and baptised very young.
    But I am glad that you are now able to go forward and make a life. Some of us did not find out about the folly of it all until we had already given 40 years to it.
    This board is full of people who need to talk, and no one else understands where we are coming from.
    Keep trying to help your Mum. There is plent of information on the net to help reason with her, to get her to think and question it all, not so that she feels "Opposed" by you.
    Keep on posting!

  • wonderwoman77

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are definitly not alone. Hugs and welcome to the board...

  • teenyuck

    Welcome MissSC!

    Your story sounds strangly familiar....very much like my own. Good luck on college. I wish you well.

    Keep posting!

    "I used to be Snow White, then I drifted." Mae West

  • MissSC

    Thank you everyone for your positive responses.
    I look forward to posting in the future.

  • Adonai438

    ((((HUGS)))) & Welcome! Look forward to reading your posts later & God Bless!<><

  • ISP

    Welcome to the board, Miss SC, glad to see things are taking shape for you!! Hope you make some friends here!


  • SYN

    A sad story, but one I think you will find in common w/many people here. Welcome to the board, hoping to hear more from u soon!

    "I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone." -- Charles Darwin, The Origin Of Species, 1869.

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