Top Ten Signs that the Elders Want to Disfellowship You

by OnTheWayOut 9 Replies latest social humour

  • OnTheWayOut

    10. There's two guys in suits staying all night outside your home in a four-door sedan.

    9. An elder you spoke to on the phone calls and asks you to repeat what you said the other day, but asks you to speak slowly and clearly.

    8. Suddenly, JW friends stop by and ask an aweful lot of the same questions.

    7. Your laptop computer was moved, left on, or is missing.

    6. You left your car unlocked, it was thoroughly searched by someone but absolutely nothing is missing including your GPS which was searched too.

    5. Your boss asks if you are in trouble with the law or someone, stating some really polite men were asking about you and left some "tracts."

    4. Someone picked up the cigarette butts around your back porch.

    3. The bartender at your favorite nightspot asks if you have ever before seen the guys in the corner booth that have been ordering "Cokes" all evening and pulling out a camera everytime you order a beer.

    2. You receive registered mail and you already served on a jury this year.

    1. Your JW mother who finally had accepted that you will never go back starts begging you to either go back to the Kingdom Hall or move with no forwarding address.

  • QuestioningEverything

    Seems like you are right on que with the signs. Is this happening to you?

  • OnTheWayOut

    No, but it's something I thought of.

  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer

    Alternate: You see that momentary deer-in-the-headlights eye-flash when your dumbass body of elders realizes you are smarter than all of them put together.

    When prideful idiots feel threatened it only goes downhill. They will see to it.

    Marvin Shilmer

  • Magwitch

    11. They have assigned the new prepubescent elder to your JC and he is anxious and hungry

  • OnTheWayOut

    I knew you guys could come up with better ones. Magwitch, I kind of had in mind signs before any actual actions.

    How about, "You haven't been to the hall in years, they don't even have a bookstudy anymore, but you get a text message that you are assigned to a different elder's service group." ?

  • Farkel


    Good ones!

    Two elders pay you a "friendly" visit. One elder says he needs to check his e-mail and without waiting for permission marches into your computer room and opens up your Browser's History folder.

    This actually happened.


  • blondie

    No elder would get past my front door. I always turn off my computer when I walk away from it. My husband told me that he was "trained" to check the DVDs, CDs, etc. that jws left out to view. Once they went to a home where things were locked away and that was considered suspicious.

    When the elders show up after 10 years, you know there is nothing good going on.

  • out4good3

    My wife is still as entrenched in jwism as ever.

    When elders come to my house and I'm there, they check their smug attitudes at the door and conduct themselves as guests in my house.

    The last time I check a couple of them in her presence, she got the message loud and clear that I don't play that....

  • garyneal
    7. Your laptop computer was moved, left on, or is missing.

    Well, considering that I am the unbelieving spouse in this marraige, my wife could (if she wanted) look at web sites critical of the WT and then say it was me looking at them. She would probably be right because I do look at those sites and I have full freedom to do so.

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