A simple question for serious JW's

by zerubberballs 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • zerubberballs

    A simple question for serious JW's:

    According to this Sunday's newspaper suppliment a common snail travels at 24 inches/hour (60cm/hr). I've got snails in my garden and I've just crunched some math on my super scientific pocket calculator. The distance in miles between my place and Mt.Ararat x 5,280 divided by 24 then divided by 365 (i know i haven't allowed for leap years and "O" years bibleman) = 3,013 years 8 months 4 days.

    According to that these snails, if they ran flat out 24 hours a day through persia, india, thailand and indonesia and swam the arufura sea at the same pace, could have arrived here about 400 years ago. I can hear the fundy's breathing a deep sigh of relief and declaring the ancient aboriginal midens full of snail shells near here not so ancient as scientists say.

    Poor bloody snails eh? 6,000 year round trip only to be roasted on a cavemans fire. Oh well at least they got a boat ride with Noah. Hang on.. what if they piggy backed a kangaroo? .. yeah that's it after Noah unloaded all the Australian animals (all 250,000 species) they made a beeline for the antipedes .. was it two Kangaroos or seven bearing the load? .. if only bro.bruce bainbridge was here.. perhaps this post should be titled: "A serious question for simple JW's"

    .. mmm i wonder how fast a sugar ant can run?

    cheers up there bro bainbridge (don't fall ;)

    PS: No JW's posting? Well come on Rex, YouKnow, Shelby, Bibleman, Yadfluff tell me the struth.

  • Englishman

    Let's dirty this up a little Unkie Brucie. If you work out how many miles of vagina the average mans pecker travels through in a lifetime......!

    Clue: Enough to cross NSW!

    Wonder if Castrol know about this?


    Bring on the dancing girls!

  • cellomould

    Ha Ha Unclebrew,

    You have hit the nail on the head with your "beeline" expose. No wonder no one is posting.

    If I remember correctly, there is only one marsupial mammal that lives outside of Australia (or Oceania, I should perhaps say): the opossum.

    Yet there are many, many species of marsupial mammals in Australia.
    There is even an extinct marsupial wolf, but I am sure Unclebrewski knows this already.

    Why the disparity?

    Did the marsupials also make a "beeline" to Australia? If so, what made them all stick together except for the opossum?

    New Guinea, surrounded by hundreds of miles of water, also defies the global flood theory. Big flightless birds, huh? Moas, they are called? These went extinct evidently at the hands of humans. How did they get there so fast? hmmmm <scratching my head>

    Oh yeah, Madagascar had big flightless birds as well.

    Why doesn't the distribution of animals in the fossil record suddenly change where we expect it around 4000 yrs ago? All the animals must have migrated back (over oceans and continents, mind you--- see Unc's "Around the World in 80 days in an Ark Tossing Off the Animals that Don't Belong Near Mt. Ararat theory"--- that might help) to their original dwelling places, leaving no sign they were gone!

    I said ALL the animal species!

    Did you know that frogs and toads are also in the animal kingdom? How did Noah know what a frog pee-pee looked like so he didn't bring along two females? (oh wait, frogs materialize out of thin air like in the plagues of Egypt; they don't need sexual reproduction) So too fall into the animal kingdom, for further example, insects (beetles alone have thousands of species), reptiles, amphibians, birds, and fish (can you say freshwater?), but I won't go there. (Because they all survived the flood somehow, in most cases without Noah's Ark to protect them.)

    So if anyone wants to cling on to a local God-ordained flood scenario, perhaps see aChristian (though you might want to throw a skeptical ear his way too ). The global flood thingy just did not happen.


    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

  • zerubberballs

    Sorry Englishman,

    I don't do smut. I've a weak stomach and I've had a beef vindaloo tonight so stop this dirty chit chat before you send me riding the porcelain taxi to Tijuana.


  • ChuckD

    Reminds me of a joke.

    This turtle was mugged by two snails. The police arrived, and asked the turtle if he got a look at the assailants. "I don't know," he said, "It all happened so fast."

  • zerubberballs

    Hey Cellomould,

    How did you know about my "around the world and drop 'em off as Noah went" theory? lol. I even had one fundy tell me Noah's ark was really a flying saucer. When I asked about gravity waves and the electrical conductivity of Gopher wood from Shittim he disappeared .. i guess i wasn't spiritual enough to discus the deeper things of God.

    With global warming the snowline of the Australian alps, just 2 hours drive from here, is lowering and causing high mountain streams to dry up. There are a number of fresh water fish and other unique species severely threatened because of it. If the Noah "drop 'em off as you go" theory is correct old Noah was a busy Patriach indeed.

    Here's something not many people know: Egyptian King Tuts famous mask was made of Gold mined in Australia. True. West Australian gold. True history is often stranger than fiction.


    PS: My "250,000 species" includes marine animals. (but it's the only number i can remmember)

  • Thirdson

    Actually, the theory that Noah went around the globe dropping animals off at the right places, (perhaps several times at different water levels...helps get mountain goats on mountains etc) is a very good one. It is sort of akin to Santa circling the globe in a day dropping toys off for kids at each home.

    I guess the reality of Santa Clause should not be so quickly dismissed if you want to believe in a Noah and an arkfull of species.


  • DannyBear

    Hey ballsy,

    The next thing you will be revealing, is that that very Austrialian gold used to make Prince Titts mask, was mined from your very own gold mine. I believe ya brother.



    Hey unc, why did noah only catch 2 fish then in the one year he was afloat huh ??

  • Earnest

    Mehinks there's a touch of sarcasm in these here posts but I have puzzled about the distribution of animals and the geological record for some time now.

    I can't say that the easy answers satisfy as they tend to go beyond what is written in scripture. The only satisfying conclusion I have come to is that the biblical flood was a local flood in the sense that it was limited to the Mediterranean area and that possibly the "world" referred to the world of mankind or the world known to man at that time, probably the latter considering the meaning of the Hebrew word used.

    I know this is not orthodox JW belief but it is the best I can d to harmonise scripture with the facts.


Share this