Is it all in the timing? Talking to my kids about baptism

by Aussie Oz 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Well, the next few months WT study articles are on Baptism.

    I am worried for my kids. If they go along with this, the likelyhood of them having to shun me are great. Even as minors. They are 13 and 16, prime fodder for this years push on it. There is no doubt, the ex wife will make sure they dont tell me too.

    I know i need to talk to them about the REAL effect of getting baptised.

    I have a legal mediation session scheduled for mid Feb to bang out some better access for the kids to me. The mediator tells me i must discuss shunning with them at some time. My questions is about timing.

    I plan to tackle the issue in mediation and try to get an agreement from the mother that they can not be baptised until 18.

    I figure i will not talk to them about it until after the mediation, see if i can swing an agreement first.

    IF UNSUCSESSFUL, would you talk to them before, during or after all the wt studies on it are done?


  • JimmyPage

    No time like the present. They may indeed shun you, but years later, they may realize that hey, Dad warned me about this a long time ago. Why should anyone have to bite their tongue for this stupid ass cult? The emperor has no clothes!

  • yknot

    Head it off NOW!

    Start talking next visit...... maybe ask them if they are being pressured.

    Tell them your experience as a JW youth.....leading up to how the baptism has changed over the years and why.

    Get out your ODBook and start reviewing the questions seeing which ones you can use as leverage!

    Plan out a 'study' of sorts to review the ODBook, Elder Manual, and Branch Manual.

    When you get to the Apostasy section of the Elder's Manual suggest that since disagreeing with 'bible truths' as taught by JW is apostasy that it is supremely important that they discern fully in accurate knowledge the WTS beliefs......and start introducing older publications for yall to study starting with Russell's reign 1870s-1916 .....moving onward through each presidency or prevailing personality period......have some CDs burned ahead of time containing each era.......

    Remind them that Jesus was about 30 before he was dipped and as the 'Great Teacher' his actions are very revealing! As a perfect human he could have dedicated himself earlier but still it was Jehovah's will for him to wait......ask them what can we appreciate and learn from his actions and God's will?

    If your Ex protests.... point out you are only using WTS publications and suggest it is fine training should the kiddos ever reach-out and be accepted to Gilead.

  • Mysterious

    I believe almost everywhere that the child's religion under 16 is up to the parents. If you and their mother can't agree you can likely stall that way. Not sure where you are and consent laws vary.

  • WTWizard

    I agree with Jesus' being 30, and he was supposedly perfect, when he was baptized. Should "imperfect" children be allowed to be baptized when they are well under 30? Not to mention, if they get baptized, they agree to abide by all the rules even if the rules are changed in the middle of the game. If the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger puts out something requiring all people to pio-sneer, they will have to pio-sneer (this is practically the case with children during school recesses even now--do your children want to lose their vacations like this?). If they decide to ban having a family, the children will then have to abide by that ban--even if they are not told about it now. (They already just about ban getting college education, despite the depression and 10% unemployment).

    They really need to be much older before making that decision.

  • cantleave

    No time like the present. 13 and 16 year olds can be reasoned with and understand social interaction, so to discuss this issue shouldn't be beyond their comprehension. I wish you the best.


  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Timing is everything and it's completely individual. Push too hard at the wrong time and they just might jump in the pool behind you back for various reasons.

    This is why it's so important that you have as much time as possible with your kids.

    How much do you get with them right now?


  • xmkx

    Personally I would make sure to point out that baptism is just as big of a decision and just as serious as getting married. Why would one expect a 13/16 year old to make that kind of decision, much less encourage them to do it?

  • nugget

    Your children are old enough to be reasoned with and at 16 will have probably experience of Dfing and consequences within the congregation.

    Try reverse thinking when talking about shunning.

    Remind them of the all the great times you have shared and that despite all that has happened you love them and care about them and that will not change. Ask them if they can imagine anything they could do that would stop you loving them. Reinforce that there is nothing they could do that would make you reject them because family is important and love is forever and is not conditional.

    You bring this up because the religon that they are being taught has very strict standards. People who are judged to have fallen short of those standards can experience shunning. Ask them what they think that would mean to an individual? Explain that essentially that person is regarded as if they were dead to other members of the congregation. Explain what it has meant to you. You never want them to experience this and you would never shun them.

    You know from experience that young people make many mistakes in their life and occasionally make poor decisions. You are not encouraging them to rebel what you are doing is urging them to wait until they are old enough to have thoroughly looked into everything, and know not just what JW believe but what they are rejecting before they make a decision that may impact on their relationship with their mother and friends within the organisation. Remind them that you will always love them and be there for them whatever decisions they make in life.

    You hope they will always love you too and feel they can come to you with any problems they have.

  • Out at Last!
    Out at Last!

    Encourage them to do research on the organization themselves. An afternoon on the net can be very enlightening, and they cannot be called apostates if they are not baptized. Try to let them come to their own informed decisions. The sooner the better.

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