Thermostat "wars"...stories from post-Borg life continue :)

by SnakesInTheTower 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • SnakesInTheTower

    I dont post or even read on here nearly as often as I did in the early days of my exit from the Watchtower. Much has happened since I walked away from "The Truthâ„¢" and when I can get a few minutes I will post an update. I also owe FreeMinds a I have to rewrite after losing my hard drive. I have learned my lesson on that and bought an external hard drive with autobackup...

    Meanwhile, just a real life story on my adjustment to the nearly married life. (nearly since we were not able to get married on our first available Jan 8 date...we are now looking at end of May) Things are going fine with Toni and (her 8 year old son) and I. They moved in with me back in September 2009. I posted one of my real life threads back then:

    one ply vs two ply debate

    We have our usual ups and downs...a few minor disagreements...but we never go to bed angry. One (of many) great things about her is that we can talk and do so honestly, so we generally avoid the escalation to arguments...I hope it can stay that way. Her son is starting to settle down, certainly a dramatic improvement in him since his initial days here. Still some concerns, but I think time will smooth things out. "Problem" is he is too smart and too logical to be 8. Yet, he is 8. Thus the conflict with the kid ...

    To the main point of the thread. (note to our non-US posters, temps are in Farenheit not Celsius). This morning, as has been the case since the temps in our area started getting so cold (as in zero the other day), the discussion turned to the topic of the thermostat. I have a programmable thermostat in the living room and each day it has a different program, changing 4 times a day. During the week, I have it set overnight to 65F. Half hour before she has to get up for work, it goes to 68. When I leave for the day a few hours later (around 9), it goes to 60 since it is only the cat in the house. Since I am not made of money, no point in lining the pockets of the local utility. Before my fiancee is scheduled to come home from work around 2, heat goes back to 68. When we go to bed at 11, it reverts to 65. So the coldest it gets when she is here is 65.

    This is where the conflict comes in. She gets cold easily. Diabetes, though better than it was a few months ago, does not help with her blood circulation. Not so bad when she is cuddling with me under the nice toasty comforter in the sleep number bed. Bad when she has to get up to go to the bathroom. Before she gets out of bed in the morning, I get up and turn on the space heater in the bathroom so it is toasty (75). She is still cold with 68. Temps outside have moderated overnight back into the upper 20s/low 30s.

    When we are taking baths and/or showers, she overrides the thermostat to 73. Now, I have to tell you, at 73 degrees I am boiling up. I am down to t shirt and jeans at that temp. I dont object to the 73 for a few minutes. She always puts it back after baths are done. Right now the discussion is over the 65 versus 68 overnight. She was going to throw in the towel and just "live with" 65. I am willing to (and when I get back home later will) change the program to 68 overnight. I can get used to that. I dont want her to settle on something to avoid an argument (something she has done in the past during a previous marriage to avoid conflict..a whole other topic). I want her to be happy and comfortable. So it will go to 68 overnight.

    By the way, the temperature change is a pretty big change for me compared to when I was single. When I was single, it was always 60 overnight and I just put a small space heater in the bedroom if I wanted it warmer. She shudders, literally, when I tell her that. LOL

    Anyway, life is good...weigh in on the thermostat debate if you like... I can take it....

    Snakes (Rich )

  • mimimimi

    Our situation is the same, except turned around. I am the hot one, Pat is the cold one. I bought a dual control electric blanket for our bed, so that helps at night. My side is never turned on and the blanket is usually thrown off of me, but his is up around 8. He knows I cannot sleep if I am too hot, and if I cannot sleep I toss and turn and it disturbs his sleep. But I know that the actual in bed is not the problem at your house.

    I keep our thermostat to about 64 to 66 at night. I know it must be hard on Pat when he gets up in the morning, but he doesn't complain. I guess I am the one getting my way in this. I do sometimes turn the thermostat up for him during the day if he is cold, but he's good to try to put on more clothes to get warm and drink some hot tea or coffee to warm up. I have to say, Pat is very patient and gracious about this situation.

  • changeling

    It warms my heart to read of your domestic lovey dubby squabbles. I'm so very happy for you!

    You get up before Toni to turn on the space heater in the bathroom? Wow, you are one in a million!

    I'm the hot natured one in the relationshiop so I understand being about to burst at 73 degrees. But...I think you did the right thing with conceeding to 68 overnight.

    When possible, on little things like this, choose Toni over saving a few pennies. Being frugal is one thing, but it can cross over to stingy pretty quickly. Don't go there!

    All the best!

    changeling :)

  • changeling

    Oh, and I missed the "one ply vs. two ply" thingy...Word to the wise: never skimp on TP! A cushy tooshie is a happy tooshie! (Charmin with aloe is the best) :)

  • MsDucky

    Hubby can't take the cold. He has problems with "thermoregulation" due to his amputation and the resulting loss of skin surface, which helps to regulate temperature. . .therefore, no lower than 69 degrees in my house.

    I know that babies and the elderly have problems with thermoregulation too (as well as people with certain health conditions). . .some people just can't take the cold. . . for instance a burn patient couldn't take the cold due to loss of skin surface area.. . Oh well! IDK???

  • SnakesInTheTower

    choose Toni over saving a few pennies. Being frugal is one thing, but it can cross over to stingy pretty quickly

    no doubt here. I was once described as being so tight with money that the buffalo roars when I squeeze a nickle... I am willing to pay extra for quality or for something important...this is a case of the latter....

    never skimp on TP

    I dont... she did at her old if I can get the two of them to swap out rolls when it is running out... I bought a two roll wire rack that hangs over the side of the toilet tank..... it seems like they both use them equally so both rolls run out at the same time... I even keep extra in the bathroom closet in reach... no luck... I am the changer of the even said to me: "I bet you $5 that you cannot let both rolls run out before going into the closet to change the rolls." I told her I would lose the bet... she was willing to give me five bucks to let it go to the core... can't do it...drives me nuts... I change the roll out right before it goes empty and set it on top of the new roll...


    I bought a dual control electric blanket for our bed, so that helps at night

    oooo...gaaaaadgettttts.....shiny fuzzy gadgets...wouldn't help the getting up at night thing though... she just cuddles closer to me if she is cold....

    oh well... if this is the biggest "conflict" she and I have in life, we are doing great... nothing earth shattering...

    Snakes (Rich )

  • Heaven

    Wait 'til you guys get to be seniors. They're always cold. My Dad's place is like 85 degrees F all year round! He lights his woodstove during heat waves in the summer, especially when it's humid... he thinks the fire helps dry up the air. I have been noticing the cold more this year. I'm gettin' old.

    A suggestion for your love would be to dress in layers. Socks in bed keep you toasty warm. Fleece is particularly good too. Insulated clothing is another choice. I wear layers, insulated shirts and pants, sweaters, and fleece... this all works for me. I don't wear nighties in the winter, I wear pajamas. I have 'bed slippers' but as I said, socks work good too. When the temp. outside dips down, I start with a silk layer, followed by a cotton layer, followed by fleece or outdoor winter wear (like snow pants). If you're going to be active outdoors and it's cold, the silk layer is important to wick away moisture so you don't get a chill. You can find these types of clothes in sports and ski stores (Hot Chillys and Helly Hanson are 2 name brands). Layering AND the type of layering is key.

  • WTWizard

    It looks like time to order some flannel blankets. You can get those from L.L.Beans--along with flannel pajamas that are really quite warm, and a nice warm bath robe. Sweaters also help when the temperature drops--I like to keep my heat at 55 o because it gets too dry if I let it get much warmer than that in winter (plus the plants like it around 55 when they cannot get enough light to actively grow). And, those items really help nicely.

    In fact, in my case, I think they are sometimes too effective. In bed, I have some nice comforters, and some flannel and fleece blankets from L.L.Beans. If you put a fleece blanket between two flannel blankets or a flannel blanket and a comforter, it is an excellent insulator--and even if Osama Obama manages to require thermostats be set at 55 or lower, that is going to help keep me from getting too cold.

  • Heaven

    It looks like time to order some flannel blankets. You can get those from L.L.Beans

    WTWizard... I love L.L. Bean! My insulated jeans and shirts I got from them along with some of my silk underwear. I also have a lovely comforter from them too. It's so warm I can only use it when it's really cold out.

  • changeling

    Dear snakes: There is a little known, but absolutely sacred and true household rule that says, "Only one person per household is capable of changing the TP roll".

    In my house, it's me. I live with bonafide geniuses that are incapable of changing a TP roll.


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