adolescent JW shenanigans--nicknaming fellow JW's

by razorMind 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • razorMind

    Just a funny memory.....

    My sister and I, once we reached pre-teen, were HIGHLY critical of almost all the congregation members.

    We'd get home and mercilessly mock and make fun of elders, kids, you name it. Some of our fonder nicknames (WARNING: some may be weird, but we didn't get out much! ha ha ha)....

    "Daffy"--a particularly frantic, maniacal elder who became even more manic after his near-fatal car accident. Frantic gesticulations similiar to that cartoon duck's. Physical resemblance, as well. My DF'd sis can do a pretty good impression.

    "Ms. Tippety-Toe"--an EXTREMELY "zealous", holier-than-thou, 40ish spinster (and UGLY) pioneer sister who'd walk on her tiptoes to the bathroom, presumably to avoid disturbing other members. When she FINALLY got married, we'd speculate on whether she was a virgin.

    "Fish-a-Butt"--An old fat-assed NOTORIOUSLY NOSY sister who can drive the most mild-mannered to cursing. The type who has to instruct ppl how to do EVERYTHING. I had the misfortune to be trapped with her in field service, in a small car, on a rainy day. I rewrote the cat-food commercial airing that year, "Fish-A-Hoy", using her smell as inspiration.

    "Drummy T's"--a dull elder who pronounced his "T" consonants in a weirdly rolling way, sounding like a drum roll.

    "Trucky Hats"--Another busybody fat-assed pioneer sister whose furry derby-ish hats resembled tractor-trailer trucks.

    "Chatterbox"--a frog-like brother who never got to be an elder because of his tyrannical treatment of his wife and kids. They were ALWAYS getting into fistfights, the girls sometimes cold kicking his ass. Nickname lovingly thought up by his own daughters, who freely join us in deriding him to this day, after he acquired a set of chattery dentures.

    "Halitosis Hag"--needs NO explanation!

    Just a few of the memories I have of growing up as a JW kid. It sounded like we were speaking a different language, what with all the names we had for our fellow JW's. Of course, feel free to share any nicknames you had (have)!!!

  • TR

    HAHA!LOL! Funny stuff. I wonder what they called me?LOL!


    "YK is his name, false prophecy is his game"

  • Bendrr

    "The Enforcer" -- An elder who moved into our congregation in the mid-80's. Had a reputation around the circuit as "overly-zealous". Actually his favorite tactic was to target the kids of fellow elders. Needless to say, I hit his radar screen first. He actually followed me around town one day. Or tried to. Hence his police-tactics earned him the nic The Enforcer.
    Others I will have to think on more, including "Ruprecht".

    "You can't have everything, where would you put it?" -- Steven Wright

  • terafera

    LOL too funny!!!!!

    I didnt have actually names for everyone.. but I know the 'types':

    We had one black elderly sister who would always sit in the very front row. Then she would proceed to fall asleep and her head would fall more and more forward.. forward.. until her forehead was almost in her lap. I swear I thought she would fall right over and onto the steps of the stage!

    There was always the sister who sang horribly off-key and thought she was an opera singer...

    There was always the elder with the roving eyes.. who just managed to have his eyes in the right place when I bent over to put my Bible down.. plus whenever I turned around during song his eyes were firmly planted on my ass.

    The 'screamer' kids- this was the family that had 8+ kids and they all managed to scream through the whole thing. The mother or dad would drag them out many times during the meeting.

    We always had the 2 or 3 elderly single regular pioneer sisters...they were severely obese and one would wear knee-high pantyhose that kept riding down her 'cankles'. Her skirts were always riding up high to reveal her vericose laced bulging thighs. *shiver*

    good memories..

  • Pureheart

    THE STORYTELLER: That publisher you just can't get away from.

    THE GREETER: The publisher who makes it their goal to say "Hi, how ya
    doin'?" to every person in the Hall.

    THE LOVER: That sister who hugs and kisses everyone.

    THE Lil' RACER: That young boy who's always sitting in a chair for

    THE EVACUATORS: Those publishers who race to the door after the

    PAVAROTTI: That singing publisher behind you who convinces you that
    you're mute.

    THE "6TH MAN": The publisher who's always giving impromptu talks.

    THE ESCAPEE: The publisher who runs away when being given a talk
    assignment slip.

    THE SEASON TICKET HOLDERS: Those families who always sit in the exact
    same seats.

    RIP VAN WINKLE: That older brother who wakes up for the closing song
    and prayer.

    THE WHIPLASH KIDS: Those sleeping kids whose heads spring up and down
    with violent jerks.

    THE RAMBLER: You can count on him going overtime on his talk.

    THE ADJUSTER: The speaker who always has to adjust his own mic for

    THE HIGHLIGHTERS: Those sisters who use 5 different colored markers
    underline their Watchtowers.

    THE UNDERLINERS: Those publishers who underline every word of every
    paragraph of their Watchtowers.

    THE FRESHEN-UPS: Those sisters who spend most of their time in the
    Ladies Room.

    THE WEAK KIDNEY KIDS: Those kids who camp out in the bathroom.

    THE ASSIGNER: The Elder who's always busy assigning jobs to
    ministerial servants before and after meetings.

    THE MEMO MAN: The Elder who always has papers to hand out.

    THE PHANTOM: The missing brother who always seems to have a "duty".

    THE SATURDAY MORNING PREACHER: The brother conducting the meeting for
    field service who talks for an hour.

    MISS DAISY: That unsatisfied sister that you drive around in service
    that always has a personal request.

    THE MEDITATORS: The publishers who prefer to listen to the meetings
    and meditate with their eyes closed.

    THE AMISH: Publishers who don't use mics...they just speak right out.

    THE SCREAMERS: Those kids who want to be heard.

    THE OBLIVIOUS ONES: Those sisters who no one hears because she holds
    the mic on her lap while she's talking.

    THE KNUCKLEBALLER: That publisher who throws curve balls to the
    conductor by his wacko comments.

    THE ABC'ers: Those publishers who without fail answer the B and C
    questions too.

    THE MAGICIAN: The conductor who wants you to read his mind for the

    School Conductors

    THE TERMINATOR: He gives all "W"s, especially to his wife.

    THE CLOCK MAN: He has every publisher in the hall working on "36C"

    THE UTOPIAN DREAMER: He gives only "G"s because "they deserved it".

    THE ENCORE GIVER: He gives an encore presentation of the information
    after every talk.

    THE FORGETTER: The one who always has to go back to his seat to get
    the student's slip.



  • terafera

    I bow to PureHeart.. the Knower of all Categories of the Hall!!


    I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!


  • razorMind

    Too too TOO TOO funny!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!

    We had that sister who kept falling asleep, Tera. (I won't talk TOO badly about her; she's mentally challenged--I could expound on that but I won't--she was clearly NOT competent enough mentally to be baptized and DF'd) She'd drift in and just make herself at home and SNORE.

    Pavarotti, The Screamer Kids, The Rambler, and The Enforcer...unfortunately all too familiar characters.

    However, I was an "Evacuator"!!! Let's hear some more!!!

  • Preston

    Hi Pureheart,

    Congrats, you have accurately identified my Kingdom Hall.

  • myself


    Did we go to the same congregation?

  • latinadivina713

    Man, my sister and I had a ton of nicknames for people at the hall. IN fact our dad had a bunch, too!
    Here are a few:
    The Grape Ape- a teenage brother who always wore a bright purple suit
    The Evil One- a brother who looked like the devil
    The Pink Panther- a brother who wore a pink (yes, pink) suit to the hall.
    Gnarley- Real name Charlie. Ugly roommate of The Evil One and The Pink Panther. (A side note: These three roommates had pictures of topless girls up around their apartment until someone ratted them out to the elders. The elders made them take the pics down and then they were promptly replaced with pictures of muscle men, like body builders. Hmmmm?)
    Yakky Doodle- A long winded, elderly brother who never ever shut up. *My dad made this one up!
    Abe Lincoln- A brother who bore a striking resemblance to this historical figure.
    Sister Piano Player- Actually, the "brothers" made this name up. She was an elderly sister who fell asleep during the entire meeting, but she played the beginning and ending kingdom melody. Elders would actually say, "Would sister Piano Player please come up and play song number whatever?"

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