The Assembly Experiences - Standard Format

by sd-7 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7

    Matthew 6:1: "Take good care not to practice your righteousness in front of men in order to be observed by them; otherwise you will have no reward with your Father who is in the heavens."

    "Now we'd like to call to the platform Brother So-and-so, a [let's face it, capital letters should be used] Regular Pioneer and Elder in the Blah-Blah-Blah congregation. Brother So-and-so, what helped you to put Kingdom interests first?"

    So-and-so: "Well, Brother Speaker, I had been employed at my current job for blah-blah-blah years. I soon realized that I was not doing enough to praise Jehovah. So I went to my employer and made what some might see as an unusual request."

    Speaker: "What request did you make, Brother?"

    So-and-so: "I asked for two days off per week in order to expand my ministry."

    Speaker: "That must have taken some courage."

    So-and-so: "Yes, it did."

    Speaker: "And how did your employer react?"

    So-and-so: "Well, he said to me that I could have Thursday and Friday off, but only if I didn't bother coming back to work on that Monday."

    [Audience 'oohs' or 'laughs']

    So-and-so: "I took that to mean that I would probably be fired, but I decided to put my trust in Jehovah, knowing that if I sought his Kingdom first, he would provide for my needs. So I did indeed take Thursday and Friday off."

    Speaker: "What happened after that, Brother?"

    So-and-so: "On Monday, I called my employer to ask him if I still had a job. He assured me that I did, that what he meant was that I could take THREE days off a week and come in on Tuesday."

    [Audience 'OOOOH!']

    So-and-so: "I continue working part-time, and this has been a blessing from Jehovah that has enabled me to pioneer and handle my theocratic responsibilities wisely."

    Speaker: "Thank you, Brother So-and-so--" [applause interrupts him, but he continues anyway] "--for demonstrating to us how we can be faithful to Jehovah and put Kingdom interests first. So, friends, can you perhaps make adjustments in your work schedule and qualify for the full-time ministry? A long-time pioneer named Susan says the following: "Anyone and everyone can pioneer. The only thing that ever disqualifies us is our own attitude." Should we not have similar zeal for the ministry?" [Speaker gets really loud] "Then BY ALL MEANS, LET US CONTINUE PUTTING FORTH EFFORT TO PUT GOD'S KINGDOM INTERESTS FIRST!!!"

    [Audience claps; end of talk]

    Am I right, or am I wrong?


  • zoiks

    A little too right...

    Especially about the audience clapping over the speaker. You really made it come alive for me! Don't do it again.

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro

    Exactly except what was left out of the experience is that what actually happened was the employer approached all employees and told them that everyone's hours were going to be cut to part-time to avoid having to do layoffs. Or that Brother So & So is still working part time at that employer but also has another part time position to make ends meet.

    Those experiences in additon to being highly scripted are also "enhanced" shall we say. The worst example I've ever seen was a brother who had a "high stress" job and no time for field service. So he prayed to be able to study with someone and "bring them into the truth". The next year, his student got baptized. He repeated the request 2 more times and each time the student got baptized. The rest of the story I found out later because I was talking to him (Both of us worked in administration) was that the students in question were actually HIS CHILDREN! I was floored and told him I thought they were folks he met in fs since that was the implication. He was embarrased because he thought it was misleading but that's what the DO wanted so that's how he told it.


    It does`nt take much for the WBT$ Seal Trainer..

    To get his JW Seals to Perform..

    ........................... ...OUTLAW

  • dig692

    That was perfect sd-7! I felt like I was at an actual assembly!

    @ Doubting Bro-I have always questioned the legitimacy of some of those interviews and thought that some were probably enhanced to make them sound better, and your post totally validated that! Wow!

  • out4good3

    Yeah...that was pretty surreal. I felt my eyes rolling in the back of myhead just as I did when I used to go to those meetings with my wife and they did experiences.

  • DoubleVision

    Thanks that was great. You had me going there for a second. I thought " was this the latest assembly? and I can't believe there still push'in this crap"

    and then I got to:

    So-and-so: "Well, he said to me that I could have Thursday and Friday off, but only if I didn't bother coming back to work on that Monday."



  • miseryloveselders

    Wow. Classic.

  • straightshooter

    This seems like an ongoing experience that never fails.

  • Albert Einstein
    Albert Einstein

    What a fine example for us dear friends!

    Let us all ask for extra days off tomorrow at work! This way we will be able to increase our apostate activity and to increase the number of our posts per day!

    Thank you sd-7 for such fine encouragement!

    encouraged Albert

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