I have been inactive for a year now. Before that I was quite active, had only an average time slip but did a lot of things you cannot count. But I had read R.Franz and the Internet. I always thought everything is going to be fine. But a year ago I could not longer stand it. In the last CO week I resigned as a MS and have rarely attended meetings since then.
Now, this CO week, the CO and the PO came to see me. I thought that they came because they cared but he started telling me, that my wife told him to come and see me. Is first question was: "Are you happy now?" He told me that many try to get rid of something because they are unhappy just to see that they are still not happy. I answered that the question was if I was happy in the midst of the most happy people on earth. He said I was not that active in the end (that hit me).He asked about my relationship with God and if I pray. I felt uncomfortable about those intimate questions and answered that being a JW I did not feel close to God but just had to follow rule I could look up in the WT-Index.
We talked a lot about rules, he of course tried to defend the current policies, I stated that I don't want to follow rules of men any longer. I spoke about civilian service, class president elections and other things that our allowed now. I called the 1914-chronology nonsense, he tried to defend it.
I feel bad after that. They tried to put all the blame on me. I know that this is not the truth but I feel bad after all.