CO&PO came to see me
I have been inactive for a year now. Before that I was quite active, had only an average time slip but did a lot of things you cannot count. But I had read R.Franz and the Internet. I always thought everything is going to be fine. But a year ago I could not longer stand it. In the last CO week I resigned as a MS and have rarely attended meetings since then.
Now, this CO week, the CO and the PO came to see me. I thought that they came because they cared but he started telling me, that my wife told him to come and see me. Is first question was: "Are you happy now?" He told me that many try to get rid of something because they are unhappy just to see that they are still not happy. I answered that the question was if I was happy in the midst of the most happy people on earth. He said I was not that active in the end (that hit me).He asked about my relationship with God and if I pray. I felt uncomfortable about those intimate questions and answered that being a JW I did not feel close to God but just had to follow rule I could look up in the WT-Index.
We talked a lot about rules, he of course tried to defend the current policies, I stated that I don't want to follow rules of men any longer. I spoke about civilian service, class president elections and other things that our allowed now. I called the 1914-chronology nonsense, he tried to defend it.
I feel bad after that. They tried to put all the blame on me. I know that this is not the truth but I feel bad after all.
You cannot feel bad unless you allow yourself. They do not control your feelings. But ask yourself Why? Why do you feel bad? Is it because you allowed them to make you feel guilty? Do you believe it's the Truth? If not, don't worry about it. They are men. They have no power over you. Continue building your relationship with God.
>Continue building your relationship with God.
I have come to the point that da Judge was right after all: "Religion is a snare and racket.
I really never had a relationship with God. I know a lot about the Bible and about JW history. I could repeat it excellently in the cong and in the field. But today I know that these were not my thoughts and feelings. I should mention that I was raided a JW.
God and religion don't need to be combined. If you can build a relationship with God without a church great! If not, great! Do what you need to do to stay spiritually, emotionally, mentally healthy.
Andi - also raised a JW.
I think that what makes me feel bad is the fact that I can tell them what I want - they will still defend the whole thing. The CO even said: "Imagine Russell looking down from heaven and saying: They should stop talking about that Pyramid, I know now it was a mistake." He also mentioned 1975. And he says that there are things today we will feel strange about in the future. But he came to conclusion that we have to endure and keep on preaching, and keep on attending meetings etc. ....
I would prefer to DA and start from the scratch. But there is my family and my - let's call them log-time acquaintances in the org. I doubt I have really friends in there.
if you believe that it isnt the 'truth' then you shouldnt feel bad. thats easy to say in theory but i've found out the past few days that its harder to put into practice. the guilt that has been brainwashed into us is harder to get rid of then some people make it sound.
as far as feeling bad for the CO and PO there really isnt much you can do there. you presented the facts and perhaps placed a seed of doubt that maybe they will think about and one day explore and see for themselves.
You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
As Maximus and others have said here---it's not the destination, it's the journey.
I think the JW's were lucky to have you for as long as they did, but now your time with them is finished and you are free to go out and distribute your gifts and talents and large capacity for love somewhere else where it will be more appreciated.
Such as HERE for instance!!!
Hope to see you around a long time....we need you here. You can't count the time here with us either--does that help?
In 1975 a crack team of publishers was sentenced to death by a judicial commiteee. They promptly escaped from the cult and now live life on the run. If you have a problem ... and if you can find them ... maybe you can contact the A--postate Team"
flower, I am a big one for the seed thing, but as far as the PO's and CO's getting "seeded", I really doubt it at this point.
I'm coming to the conclusion that these men have really heard this all before. Out of all the posters on the board, I don't remember a single PO or CO posting. I'm not sure what Hillary_step's status is or Maximus' status but I've noticed elders and even Bethel elder here but nobody else.
These men have heard it all before. They are "company" men in it for the power, perks and prestige that they get. They don't care about a thing and are probably the worst versed in deep Bible research out of the JW hierarchy. I think that they are well heeled in the "catchall" scriptures, talk outlines, the organization and flock book, but precious little else. They are the ones that have seen photocopy after photocopy, book after book and are so completely jaded and blind that I have the least amount of hope for them.
Plus do CO's really have enough money to have an Internet connection?
That's a funny thought because imagine how much money the society could save by having an Intranet for the DO's, CO's and PO's to access to get them all on the same page. But they know that the fear, uncertainty and doubt that comes with petty men having petty kingdom's within the Kingdom is so much more effective at controling the 6 million that they will never modernize.
Slipnslidemaster:"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."
- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
So sorry that the meeting left you feeling bad. I know that in the early days of my leaving, I had moments where I would tremble after 'speaking negatively of J's Org.' My mind is now clearer than it has ever been, thanks to the wonderful freedom I now have.
I have been 'inactive' for about 2yrs now, I promise you......It does get better.
I think you did just great meeting up with them, you may just of got them thinking a little deeper themselves!