Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...Part 5 and final
Thanks again. I enjoyed reading of your unfolding life.
From your final comments I got the impression you may enjoy reading Philip Yancy's books.
He has many, but the most famous is "What's So Amazing About Grace".
I sincerely recommend it.
tjlibre, you have a lot of God in you. What I have read shows it and your honesty. I have two main peices of advice.
1. Learn about Jesus. The WTS doesn't give Jesus the attention he deserves. Without Jesus, it is absolutely pointless. He IS the only way to God.
2. Never compromise God, your faith, the truth, or love. Like you said about what if someone says how much the GB has done for you, will you shake your head yes or will you stand up for God. Jesus only stood up for God, not for himself when he was attacked, but for God. You know the truth and it would be wrong not to preach it from the rooftops. Don't hide the light under a basket.
You are not a captive. Who is your master? If you are their captive, they are your master and you know that isn't true. Captive means slave....you are not their slave. You have a choice. Captives don't have a choice. So don't believe that. Sure it makes you feel better about staying but it isn't true. It's like saying they won and they haven't. God has.
You can't stay. You know it's false. Jesus never compromised. It would be worse for you to stay because you know the real truth, than it is for the GB to lie, because they don't know the truth. Compromising is turning your back on God. You will start to lose the feeling of Him being there if you continue to compromise Him. Be very careful. God has already told you what to do, but it's hard for your flesh to do it. Leave and do it with boldness, compassion, peace, and love. Like Jesus did. Did Jesus want to leave his mother? His followers? No way. But he told us to leave our family to follow him. I hope your wife will stay with you and learn the truth. But you cannot stay because of your love for her. You must leave because your love for your Father is greater. "And all these other things will be added to you".
Have you ever heard or seen this expression:
“Never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.”
For what it's worth, I tried to make a difference as an elder but once I was sure it was "the lie" I could not continue very long from the platform supporting it.
I don't really agree that some are better off left in the cult. It sounds true on the surface, but everyone deserves to know the real truth and detach themselves from false hopes and implanted fears. Still, I get the point that they would be miserable if torn away. I was miserable, but it was such a short while. Everyone deserves the freedom to think and behave and feel the way they want to.
It is not my mission to get them out, I only offer some pushes to my wife and mother. I would help someone who approached me, but I just cannot stir the pot and go reaching toward JW's. Family- YES. JW Friends- NO. They will turn on you and get you DF'ed, no matter the friendship in most cases, if you try to teach them the real truth. I don't hold grudges against any JW's either. Even if the C.O. that turned total jerk on me were to come out, I would gladly help. He's just another organization man.
Thanks for sharing the story.
You are welcome. I felt that sharing part of my JW life story would help others in the same way that experiences from other posters have helped me. We need to create awareness to the ones leaving or planning to get into this religion.
Thanks for the book recommendation. Ever since I finished reading Ray. Franz In Search of CF my interest in reading non WT publications has grown. I’ll put this book on my “whish list”.
Thanks for the advice. Believe me when I say than some days are better than others. I have entertained the thought of just walking out and face the consequences. Friends come and go, I know that for every JW friend I’ll loose, there might be twice as many potential non-JW friends willing to give me unconditional friendship, perhaps even more sincere. But how could I replace the person I love? It will be unfair if she leaves me if I decide to D.A or get DF’s. But on the other hand, she married me in part because I’m a JW in “good standing”, wouldn’t it also be unfair to her for me to leave on my own accord and ask her to follow me? To drastically change her perception of reality? I’m learning that I need to take my time before making any drastic decision. She is showing me signs that she understands why I’m feeling the way I do; she even encouraged me to step aside as an elder. Titles and positions mean nothing to her. I recently discovered that she is not a die-hard JW as I once thought she was. But she is thankful to the brotherhood because she went through a horrible family tragedy and the JW’s where there for her and her family. The JW went as far as to paying for her rent, cooking and cleaning for her for months. So, I’m realizing that she is attached to her friends and family in the JW religion, not so much to the theology. This past weekend I almost lost one of my parents, I experienced something I never experienced before with the JWs…they showed solidarity and empathy towards me. I suppose I was getting back some of what I have given. Of course, I’m well aware that some of the so called “JW friends” are not real friends after all, but some are, they are just misguided but good people after all.
My quarrel is not with the JW as a religion or people; my issues are with the Watchtower Corporation and its Governing Body. There is no such thing as a “true religion”, therefore, the same difficulties I have in accepting some of the JW’s doctrines I will have in another Christian denomination. I’m well aware that I don’t need to be affiliated to a church in order to be part of the “Body of Christ”. But as I’m exercising more patience with my self, I’m discovering that I can be of great service to the sheep in the cong.
As for getting to know Christ better, I’m working on that. I have to be fair to my self and take it one step at a time. It’s been way too many years of relegating Jesus to a secondary role, it’s difficult to view and worship him as God. He himself expressed this idea when on earth in the form of a man he said to Satan: "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.” I have no interest in discussing theology related to Jesus relationship to God, the history of Christianity shows that this contentious topic goes as far back as the second century c.e. I just want to live my life by Christian principles and conduct my self as much as I can in the same way that Jesus did (I will fall short miserably, but at least I’ll try). He challenged the establishment and exposed the Pharisees and teachers of the Law for what they really were, hypocrites. But he was the Son of God, that was part of his mission, I can do the same (and I’m) but in different ways.
Staying in will be a big challenge, of that I’m well aware. It won’t be easy to act apart for long, but I should not precipitate into a drastic curse of action. If I was single, leaving would have been a lot easier, but then again…granted that my circumstances are others…should I not at least TRY to be part of the solution and try to improve the JW environment? I can spend endless amount of time and energy fighting and criticizing the WT and its GB for their oppressive, deceitful and hypocrite ways; or for their lack of compassion and understanding, or for their unloving, prideful and un-scriptural leadership…but if I at least don’t try to be a little different than them (IN the JW religion), would that not be the same as “looking at the speck of sawdust in my brother's eye and paying no attention to the plank in my own eye?”If I say that they are bad shepherds, will I be any better if I just turn my back on the flock and leave them alone among the wolves? I don’t want to be a hero or a savior, I’m just learning to work with what I have, I realized that I need to take it slow and wait a little longer for the end of my service in the JW religion.
I know what you mean. I can’t no longer support the blood policy, the GB’s demands for unchallenged obedience, the stance on higher education and the two Christian class doctrine, among other things. I try to dodge getting parts dealing with some of these subjects, when I’m unsuccessful at avoiding them…I give them a twist. It kills me, but I say to my self ….this is a “theocratic war”. LOL!
I understand where you’re coming from. I’m aware of the danger that some face by staying in the JW religion. But we all know that challenging a JW’s perception of reality (in most cases) only triggers a defense mechanism. They’ll defend their mind in the same way they’ll defend their bodies. I noticed that the majority of us came to our discoveries on our own accord at first, then with the support of others…but that we all took the first step. I feel that each person is responsible for their curse of action and believes. We can only show the way to the ones that are willing, able and ready to redraw their maps.
I have heard that expression and it is good advice, if you follow it you are at least a mile away from the guy when you judge him, and Bonus, you've got his shoes !
Thanks for your story TJ , I am sure the Libre part of your name means free (?) I am sure too that when the time is right for you ,you will leave the cult, good, loving ,thinking, caring people like you cannot stay confined within for too long.
All the best for the future, and keep us updated please.
Thanks for the story. I can understand your position. Being inside is gonna be hard. You could consider yourself like a spy in a foreign country. You can have the power to help many people. Just dont forget that they are mind controlled. you can not take anyone out. You can only enable them to think. That you can do. Ask questions and let them think by themselves.
Regarding your wife. It shows that you love her. She has to be certain of that. Remind her that you love her because of her and not because she is JW. In the same token she must love you because of you and not because you are a JW. Otherwise she will loving the a false image of you. She will be loving the JW of you but you are not that anymore therefore she is not really loving you if thats the case. Strengthen your love based on each other not on the JW not even on the bible. What if she turns muslim? would you still love her? Ask her questions about that... what if I wasnt an elder... would you still love me? what if I wasnt a publisher would you still love me? what If I wasnt a JW? would you still love me? what I didnt believe in God? what if , what if..... questions are powerful
Also seems you are doing a great job in the congo. But are the JWs getting closer to God or the the WT? Remmember all the good work you do goes to waste once you are out. Are they seeing that good work as coming from you from God or the WT? They have to know it is coming from you. Not from the WT. Not even from God because God=WT. Like Paul said... this I say it myself and no God.
I’m learning that I need to take my time before making any drastic decision.
Please, never forget these, your own suggestions.
I have to be fair to my self and take it one step at a time.
I was in the same situation as you...well, I was never an elder but I felt like I could help people while I was there. And I did the best I could. But when a JW would say something that I didn't agree with, I would've been wrong to just say nothing in order to preserve "peace". That isn't loving to let them believe a lie, about you, about God or Jesus, about the religion. In order to be like Jesus, we have to do our very best to stand up for truth. I believe that you are in a good place spiritually. I don't expect you to leave this moment. I know it will happen when it needs to. I'm only giving you a different view about it, like other people here have different suggestions.
Ultimately, you have to have love, speak the truth no matter how painful, and glorify God in everything you do.
When you do leave, go out in a blaze of God's glory.
You could start your own CULT.