Conditional love dilema....need advice

by hubert 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • hubert

    Thanks for all your advice.

    I was curious to see what others would do in this situation. I notice a few scenarios.

    What I will most likely do is...if this happens, I will ask my non-wj daughter if she has any objections to me hanging out with her ex, as some of you suggested, but I will wait awhile to let things cool down, first.

    I really hope they can resolve their differences, as I love them both, but my allegiance of course would be to my daughter.

    Thanks for all the advice, and I'd be interested to hear what more people here have to say on this subject.


  • changeling

    Whatever you do, don't hurt your daughter. That's the bottom line. :)

  • AdaMakawee

    Hubert, I think the reason that most people don't maintain friendships with ex's (even within families) is that the split ups are usually so acrimonious. When people split up without the bitterness, anger, etc., but because it's the right thing to do, it is possible to remain friends, or barring that, to remain civil. Although some think it's "odd" or feels "weird" to maintain a friendship with someone after divorce, it's not other people that should get to decide what feels right to you.

    Let it play out. See how your ex-jw daughter feels about it after she has had time to grieve, see how her by then ex feels about it, and go from there.

    Playing the what-if game is not very productive, in my view.


  • DJK

    I'll bet this potential son in law will move on and your decision will be made for you.

  • hubert


    I just got word from my j.w. daughter that my other daughter and her boyfriend made up.

    Perhaps he talked with his kids and explained the problem that was arising, and they agreed to help him fix it.

    I feel I should mention that he lost his first wife with cancer 3 years ago, and he has two of his grown kids living at home.

    By the way, my J.W. daughter really likes him a lot also, but she just figured that it wouldn't work out, but sometimes, just getting things out in the open and wanting your Dad to have a happy life might get them to discuss the problems and find answers without scrapping the whole thing. I hope that is what's happening.

    Thanks again for your comments and advice. All is very much appreciated.

    Love you all. Right Hug Left Hug


  • Heartbreaker

    Hubert, I actually got tears in my eyes reading how happy you are that it worked out. What a treasure you have with those 2 daughters worrying about you so, and associating with you as family first and not giving much weight to religion.

  • hubert

    Awww, thanks, Heartbreaker.

    I actually got choked up writing that, myself. I want so much to see my two daughters have a happy life, with the right man. I'm sure you all have the same feeling about your kids.


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