how do you move on?

by John Doe 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • notewe

    Hey JD :)

    Completely understand what you are saying! I decided recently to make this phrase my mantra as it were. I have repeated it NUMEROUS times in my head the past few days.

    At some point, I have to make how I live the rest of my life, MORE important, than how my life has gone so far.

    Chin up....always here if you need to talk...or you can PM me

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Thanks for the suggestions guys.

    JD Are you ok today?

    I'm never "ok," but that's nothing new.

  • BabaYaga

    John Doe, you scare me when you are poignant.

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    C'est la vie.

  • finallysomepride

    Benny Hinn, I rembember watching that on TV once, he was begging for donations of $1000 each to keep his corporate jet flying.

    Sorry for going off topic

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I have been trying to find the 'formula' for a complete move-on for a long time. Not easy. All the above ideas will help. Sometimes flippin' off the KH as I drive by is cathartic for the day too.


  • Sad emo
    Sad emo
    BTW...that's how you move on. Keep a sense of humor and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

    journey-on, perhaps you could give JD some of your legs as you appear to have plenty and he has none!

  • mamochan13
    And everything comes crashing back into yesterday, looking into the past while moving into the future. Perhaps it's a mental illness to be guarded against, alone

    It's not a mental illness, but it is a recognized mental/physical condition related to flashbacks and trauma. You are talking about triggers. In counselling trauma and abuse survivors, identifying and avoiding triggers is an important component. I tried to explain this to my mother recently when she wanted me to come for a big family dinner and "forgive and forget" my sanctimonious brother and his bitch wife. I can't be in the same room with them (sometimes even thinking about them is enough) without having the past come crashing back. I've worked hard to become and remain healthy, and part of that is identifying triggers: people, situations, thoughts, that are dangerous to my well-being, and avoiding them.

    I think there is also a mourning process we must go through. For some of us leaving represents a loss not only of family and friends, but of our own sense of who we thought we were. It's healthy to grieve that, but moving on means we have to rebuild and replace. I've re-identified myself and become a person I really like now (most of the time). While it's true that a lot of the work I've done was done by myself, I could not have done it completely alone. Supports are essential, whether they be people, things, places, activities, etc. I have had to find something that reverses the effects of the triggers, and that is something unique to each person. For me part of moving on was identifying important losses - education was one, and I think my turning point was going back to university. Writing helped a lot, as did joining several nonprofit boards where I was able to regain a sense of worth through helping others.

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    mama, what I'm talking about is not entirely about religion or leaving the jw's. In fact, it is not easily quantified nor categorized.

Share this