So I went to Bethel in July '69. College was certainly frowned upon. So I went to Bethel to be a housekeeper till 7/74. After leaving with possibly more time to think independently and starting a family, my re-evaluation set in, reflecting on how I was raised as JW child, in school, the flag salute, national songs issue, no holidays, restrictions on art and song, sports, extra-curriculars, vacation (called then) pioneering some winter breaks and summer breaks, demands to study for meetings and parts in meetings and assemblies, turning down college opportunity, which I accepted all & believed all obediently to the organization and my parents,,all the while that the new world was coming soon, soon, soon. Wait! I am a mom now, I grew up. The new world hasn't come, I didn't get to ride the elephant and lion promised to me coming soon.
I started questioning the Governing Body (I knew them), that they don't know real life, not the reality for children, going to school and the issues required of them daily. I questioned 'soon.' What the heck does 'soon' mean! I began to question every single thing, forwards and backwards. I felt a desparate need to figure everything out, I felt I would have to answer to my own children if they grow up afterall in this system and that I would have to answer to them. My brain thought processes went like that Mario game with the character constantly, ever constantly trying to get through a maze. That went on for quite a while.
Some contact was made of the goings on at Bethel sometimes. Then, when Ray Franz had to leave Bethel, I was so sad because with Ray I had hoped that things could improve within the organization. He was so knowledgable, and of the most humble and real in spirit. His wife, Cynthia, is truly genuinely honest and loving hearted. But when he left Bethel and soon later was disfellowshipped, I knew things were not going to improve in the organization. Then, "Crises of Conscience" by Ray Franz came out. When I read it, all the things came together, I had seen how it was, and how the spirit was at Bethel. It all fit and came together. All the walls fell down.
So back to topic, I went to two years of community college, business subjects and computer classes while raising 5 children. Was eventually able to get a decent job. But my great joy is that all my five children have put themselves through college and all have graduated college. None of them were ever baptized JWs and don't have many horrible memories as JW kids, some, but we became very inactive and had a few location moves which helped our freedom for a real life and free minds.
