by Sour Grapes 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Being a JW is a mixed bag at best, and horrible at worse.
It's hard not to do the "what if" thing, but I own my decisions. No one put a gun to my head. Yeah, I was lied to, and when I found out I was being lied to, I did what anyone would have done, I left.
Those things were out of my control. I am doing my best (some days are better then others) to focus on what I can control, and what I can do.
My new religion is pragmaticism.
I don't really wonder how my life could have been any different because what's done is well... done. I'm also glad that things went the way they did because I would not have learned various things I have learned if they had went any differently. That being said, JWs did have a large impact on my life, both positive and negative. Although the negatives DO outweigh the positives, at least I can now say I know without a doubt when I'm getting scammed 99% of the time among other things, so the negatives in the end turn out to be positives. It's all what you make out of it.
It's easy to fall into believing that all the turns in a "What if" of your life were negative. The truth is that even the ones that maybe were negative maybe weren't terminal or as bad as the alternatives.
Everyone of us is where we are because of a billion decisions and accidents of chance.
Personally, I've had some crap in my life but I wouldn't be willing to trade my wife and kids or the friends I have now to make it go away. There is no guarantee that I'd be any happier having lived out a different reality.
What matters is what I do with life from now on.
One benefit of those "What if's" is that it would make me feel bad for anyone that falls for the scam if I ever were to go knocking on doors again. Because they would have the joy sucked out of their lives, and would also be asking "What if I didn't knock on the door".
What matters is what I do with life from now on.
Yes, I am sad, mad, etc. about the over thirty years my family and I spent in the borg. And sometimes I get very depressed. Especially when I think of how I neglected my family. I can do nothing about that now, as both of my parents are dead.
The good news is, my daughter is in college, something that may not have happened if we'd stayed in. We had a nice Christmas, and I am determined to enjoy the life I have left. If I can ease the pain and suffering of others, then I will have contributed to society.
