My Short Letter to the Bethel Family (page 2)

Heaven

Dear Bethel Family ,

Tell your people to stop knocking on my door. I am NOT interested. Buh Bye Now.

lepermessiah

Dear Brothers,

When you said that "Religion is a Snare and a Racket, I assume you were talking about yourselves?

Agape,

lepermessiah

mutinyinheaven

lepermessiah is the best username ever. i wish i thought of that.

now i have to crank that song in my apartment. \m/

oh, and i love "agape"...i remember when my parents used to receive cards from their friends and they'd try to be all spiritual and sign it "agape", without realizing that it's the lowest form of love possible. i like to sign "eros".

thetrueone

Dear Brother Farkel,

OK so we fudged the books a little but hey what religion doesn't to make themselves seem viable ....come on !

Is it necessary to be so analytical......sheesh ?

If we don't set out some half truths how do expect us to keep this business in operation,

we've got mouths to feed, properties to buy and sell, airline flights to book all over the world so we can

get are asses kissed by are light minded followers. It makes his laugh whenever we do that because

we cant believe that there are so many stupid people in the world that actually believe in us.

We should be coming to your town soon so lets say we take you out for a beer, on us.

Sincerely,

The Governing Body of JWS

lepermessiah

Thanks mutiny - thats why I chose it.....crank it up for me too!!

That is my favorite Metallica song (I quoted it from the platform in my final talk-LOL) and i love how it blasts religion.......

Yeah, I couldnt resist the Agape.....that used to drive me nuts.......hahahah.....its like saying "Good Day" or something.

jamiebowers

Dear Farkel,

LOL! I love you.

AllTimeJeff

Dear Farkel

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brother SlacksAreTooTight. I can barely walk in these things. Fortunately, my manhood is kept in a blind trust, so my slacks can be as tight as the GB needs them to be.

Anyway, you totally miss the point at Bethel. It is a paradise (for gays). We can be bachelors, claim it is for god, and not worry at all about needing chaperones, as the GB evidentally thinks that 2 people of the same sex could never be sexually attracted to each other.

We have been doing this for over 130 years. Other then getting very excited over 1914 on occasion (and we are going to party like its 2014 soon!), we aren't here to be right. We are here to for free room and board, and to be with our "Friends"

Anyway, right now, my slacks really are too tight.

Sincerely

Brother SlacksAreTooTight

Satanus

Too phunnee. Merry panstmus.

S

Walkin

Dearest Brother Farkel. We contacted Brother Walkin to pass on this dear letter to you.

SSsshhhh! We want you to chair our next Governing Body meeting. Could you please come up with something more unique to keep the friends busy. Trusting in all your skills.

kisses on the neck for you just like the first century brothers did it.

Btw, bring your beer or whiskey to the meeting.

Teddy

Farkel

I have received a lots of responses from our Bethel brothers who say that while they would like to leave, they have no where else to go.

So, for those of you brothers who feel you must continue to stay at Bethel, I have just one piece of advice:

Remember not to play with your pee-pees.

Farkel

My Short Letter to the Bethel Family

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