Just recieved a mail from an elder

by bohm 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  bohm

  Hey, here is a little update on my fade:

  An elder have been calling me for a couple of weeks now... I didnt answer the phone, and after two weeks he stopped calling. I was releaved..

  Until today... I just recieved a mail from the same elder, telling me that he and another elder wants to visit me - he gave a BS reason about them rearranging the groups in the congregation and wrote they were visiting all the puplishers. He want to know which day we can meet. He gave me his number and told me to call him or to send him a text message.

  Right now Im thinking about doing one of two things:

  A) Dont answer the e-mail. Prented Ive never got anything from them.

  B) Answer the mail - propose a date a couple of weeks from now, and then cancel it later.

  Im very shaken right now...I dont want to meet with them, and I dont want to have any contact with them at all. Lying IS an option.

  What would you suggest me to do?

  Love, Miss Bohm
• 

  HappyGuy

  Do you think this is really a justice committee meeting but they aren't telling you that?

  If it is a shepherding call, not much harm can come from it.

  I would respond and say that my schedule is really hectic and I cannot make a time right now but I will get back to them. They won't push it unless they are trying to have an ambush justice committee meeting with you.
• 

  PrimateDave

  Ignore it for now. If somehow they do catch up to you in person at some time, just tell them you are extremely busy. You'll let them know when and if you need them to visit.
• 

  sacolton

  Put up some Christmas decorations out front. That usually sends them screaming.
• 

  lovelylil2

  ignore it!

  I did a similiar thing when I first left to get the elders to stop coming by. I eventually Da'd myself which is different from your situation but the longer you put it off the better especially if you want to just fade.

  I have a friend on this board whose husband answers the door and just says to the elders, "we are not interested in speaking with you right now, and do not want to be harrassed about our decision", "when we are ready, we will contact you". And then he doesn't let them persuade him into any more conversation.

  So again, I say just ignore it, pretend you never got it. If you run into them, tell them you don't know what they are talking about. Good luck, Lilly
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Either ignore it or answer that you are too busy, "Thanks but no thanks."

  If they ask later why you didn't respond, they don't know if you actually read it. Just say "I must have deleted your email."
  If they pin you down for a time, just stick with "I am busy. Thanks, but no thanks."

  It is best to just ignore them as much as possible. They have no real power over you.
• 

  undercover

  I'll give the elder this... at least he's trying to call first and then email before just showing up on your doorstep.

  But he will eventually show up unannounced if you ignore the email.

  I would still ignore it and be prepared for when he shows up. Be blunt. Say you're not interested in speaking with him and to please stop bugging you. When you feel the need to discuss the issue, you'll contact them... Don't forget, it's your house. You make the rules. You don't wanna talk, don't talk. Don't have time, ask em to leave.

  I used a similar tactic and it worked pretty well.
• 

  leavingwt

  "Thank you for the email, brothers. I really appreciate your concern. I'm presently coping with some personal concerns. I won't be available to meet with you as you've asked, but I'll certainly let you know if I'm available in the future."
• 

  bohm

  Hey! thanks all!

  Two beers later and we desided to go with leavingwt's letter - It feels pretty good to be able to write *something* to them so it does not feel like we are being cowards, and we really liked that it kept the 'depressive' option open. Its their move next, so far they have been pretty nice and no turned up unexpectedly, so hopefully this will buy us time.

  As a side note - my girlfriend is reading leavingwt's letter :-). So i guess something good did come out of this ;-).

  -mr/ms Bohm, of the scared sheep-class.
• 

  zions watchman

  Dear bohm,

  Don't believe there bull shit, they have you on RADAR as one they can 1. brink back to the BORG 2. CAN your ass!!!!! I like leaving wt comment.