There are a few Bible verses I'm going to discuss that probably don't bother anyone but me. In fact, most people, including ex-dubs think they are wonderful verses. I think they are really, really creepy verses. They are found in Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV) and are about the two "greatest commandments."
Before we get into my reasons for thinking how creepy that passage is, it is worth noting that if Jesus could sum up the ENTIRE Law and the Prophets in just 24 words, why was all that other crap written in the first place? We could toss out entire BOOKS of the Bible and not have to be bothered with them at all if God would have just stated those 24 words in the first place. That would have put the Pharisees out of business before they even got started in business. But NO!
I guess I'm just dreaming here, because you can always count on religious leaders to take something simple and make it into complicated bullshit. I mean, there are only 6 reasons to "quit associating" with brothers mentioned in the Bible. Only six. But the WT Printing Corporation has managed to come up with about 6,000 reasons to disfellowship, including my favorite: "circumstantial fornication!" Yep! Our own Brother Flipper was actually accused of that one!
It works like this: say it is a dark and stormy night and a balding sister with severe gout and acne who weighs about as much as your average tow truck (but is not as attractive as a tow truck), stopped by earlier to bring you back the ironing she has done for you. The roads are all flooded out, so you agree it is unsafe for her to go home. Fearful of reprisals from the local Watchtower Storm Troopers, you ask her to sleep in the basement, while you will sleep in the attic above the 3rd story of your home, with your ankles chained to the bed. In order to be totally "safe", she secures the inside of the basement door with boat anchor chain after arc welding the door shut from the inside. A mercury switch with a detonator and C4 explosive is also fastened to the door from the inside to thwart any temptation that might arise for you during the night.
In the morning, the roads are clear, the welds are cut on the door, the bomb is disabled and the dubette waddles home as scabs are falling off her face. That afternoon, the phone rings and the Storm Troopers state that a JC is going to be held because of "circumstantial fornication." This is not an accusation of REAL fornication, because there are no witnesses, but circumstantially it IS possible that fornication took place together with the forbidden circumstantial orgasms (involving circumstantial bodily fluids), so they need to arrange for a circumstantial Judicial Committee with three circumstantial elders so they can have a circumstantial disfellowshipping and keep the congregation circumstantially clean. When dub leaders can't come up with witnesses, they come up with "circumstantial" evidence, which isn't good enough to convict anyone for even a parking ticket in the real world. But Watchtower people don't live in the real world. In fact, I wouldn't even call their existence "living" in any meaningful sense.
But I digress. Back to creepy verses.
His disciples asked Jesus this question in verse 36:
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
37 Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart