by minimus 21 Replies latest jw friends
I believe the way the Organization keeps many people in its clutches is by means of guilt. NO ONE can adhere to all of the theocratic rules of the Organization and they know that. I believe JWs do things to ease their consciences. If they're naughty in the bedroom, they might give more in contributions. If they decided to miss a meeting for some selfish reason, they'll make up for it by putting in more time in service.
What do you think??
Yep. The guilt was always there. God's "undeserved kindness" was a constant reminder. I am finding that it is VERY difficult to break free from the feelings of guilt.
Guilt is one of the things that made me leave the organization. I felt that no matter how hard I tried I could never do all the things that they were telling me I had to do in order to make it through. If I was going to die anyways, I figured I might as well go out in the "world" and die happy :D
THe guilt is why I had a shipwreck of faith. I just couldn't stand it any more.
Yuppers.
Nothing but guilt.
No matter what I did, it was never enough, I should always do more.
Your best is never, ever, good enough.
I was depressed to the point of suicide, guess what the elders recommended?
yeah, you ALL KNOW what the elders told me to do.
MORE!
I stopped feeling guilty once I realized that Jehovah wasn't doing a damn thing for me. And, if He will not do a damn thing for me despite being supposedly all-loving (and at zero hardship to Himself), why should I put myself through hardship to please Him? And, if He did things to make my life miserable, I had no incentive to not do things to make Him feel bad (I wish I could actually make Him sad and miserable).
You can only expect me to give without receiving for so long before the "Final Notice" is going out. Jehovah received that, only to continue trying to get more out of me, and that's when I started doing things to slap Him in the face on purpose, without feeling any more guilt than for paying Him back.
guilt to control! that is the definition of Religion
Oh my yes... it was driving me insane !!
Hearing others talk about how "Refreshed" they felt, or the worn out phrase of, "that was so up-building", and I'd think... WTF ??
All I felt was beaten down, guilty... and most of all, worthless. It wasn't because I wasn't trying... I was, I really was. Having come from a guilt induced childhood, they only compounded the feelings I already had, leading me to wonder what was "wrong" with me?
On some level, I think they pitted us against each other by having different levels to attain to, causing upper and lower ranks, where one could look down on an other .
Having these levels waved under our noses constantly, for me, only added to the guilt complex. For example, I got the impression that if I wasn't a Pioneer, then I wasn't worthy to live, or at the very least, worth a "Hello" from the CO.
Eventually, I knew for a fact, that if I didn't get out of there... I would end up ramming my car into a tree !!
As was said:
Your best is never, ever, good enough.
So true, so true.
Cas
Always felt guilty, always had to do more, always falling short of what was expected.
If I was going to die anyways, I figured I might as well go out in the "world" and die happy :D
Hear that. Better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
