The Caring Elders

by cantleave 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    I would be interested in your opinion of the following:

    A friend told me about an incident that had happened in a neighbouring congregation. She told me that a sister from the congregation needed to get back to work after a meeting but discovered that she was boxed in. She asked an elder to ask if the people boxing her in could move their car. Instead the Elder stated that he could get her out of the tight spot took her keys and jumped in the drivers seat. Unfortunately he had grossly overestimated his abiliites and he scraped her car against a wall causing significant damage. Rather than hang around he went back into the hall leaving the sister shocked and surprised.

    At the next meeting he admitted that it was a foolish thing to do and asked her if she was insured implying that she should make arrangements to sort it out. No offer to pay and no acknowledgement that it might cost her more on her insurance. When the sister made enquiries her insurance company told her that they were not interested since she hadn't been driving, they also told her that his insurance would only cover him third party fire and theft so he couldn't claim through them in any case.

    As a next move she got a quote from a local garage and was told it would take several days to carry out repairs. At the next meeting the sister explained that insurance would not pay for repairs and gave the quote to the elder who just took it and walked away. When she presed him about it later he said "You weren't expecting me to pay for this were you?" She assured him she was. His response to that was that he didn't have the money and he might make a small contribution but certainly had no intention of paying for the damage.

    She is considering the Matthew route but has little hope of success. In the beginning she had been reluctant to approach the elder concerned because she hates confrontation. My friend told me that had the elder spoken to the sister in a humble way and said that money was tight she would probably have let it go but now she is angry and upset.

    Money is tight for everyone but I know that if I damaged someone elses car I would be desperate to make amends and wouldn't be waiting for someone to approach me and ask for the money. Anyone any ideas that would guarantee success.

  • inbetween
    inbetween

    hm, maybe best to use Matthew, where she confronts him alon, and metion, that she does it in the light of this scripture.

    as an elder, he should get the hint, and know, this is serious.

    are there other elders, whom she trusts in this hall ? How are they with each other ? Are there rivalries in the BOE ?

    What is normally a bad thing, may help her in this situation (I know, sounds like politics), but the point is, to help this poor sister.

    What about contacting the CO ?

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    if she has legal advice cover on her insurance she could possibly use that to see if she has any recourse,

    not sure if she'll have any joy, the moment she let him take the keys she was giving him permission to move the car.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    The way I see it is that if she had asked him to move the car then she would be equally culpable but as he insisted on moving the car himself he is responsible. Morally she is in the right and he is in the wrong but as an elder he can play the gifts in men card.

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    maybe contacting the Watchtower Society and making a big stink out of it!

  • inbetween
    inbetween

    if I insist in carrying a beautiful vase for you, and I drop it, who`s fault is it ?

    or by extention,

    if I offer to give you a ride, and I make an accident, would I be able to blame it on you ?

    I think both morally and legally its the elders responsibility.

    even if she asked him to, if he sees a problem with the task, he has to refuse, but if he agrees, he takes responsibility, no doubt.

  • dozy
    dozy

    Speak to another elder , ideally someone senior ( perhaps the CBOE ). Mind you , she should never have told the insurance company that someone else was driving.

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    take him to Judge Judy!

  • cattails
    cattails

    I smell an upcoming letter to the BOE with this as an example to get the elders to be less knuckle headed.

    Oy vey!

    She should definitely make a big stink. It may haunt her for quite a while and make her name stink in that congo.

    But she should go the Matthew way, take a witness with her, the whole thing.

  • stillin
    stillin

    She may never get another demonstration part, or be approved to pioneer, but at least her car will be acceptably presentable for going out in service! And the financial setback will cut into her voluntary donations! The brother should "man up."

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