First Christmas Joke of the Season....

by Robdar 18 Replies latest social humour

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Please feel free to post your own jokes!

    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates .

    'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

    The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

    'You may pass through the pearly gates ' Saint Peter said.

    The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

    Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates '.

    The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

    St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

    The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
    And So The Christmas Season Begins......

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Washington DC?

    They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Now, that's funny!

  • musky
    musky

    Good stuff!

  • Lillith26
    Lillith26

    Why is Mrs Claus so cranky? Santa only comes once a year, and even then he aint home!if you know what I mean LOL

    Candy Cane 1

    How the Angel got to be on top of the Christmas Tree?

    Santa was feeling really down one christmas eve, when the Angel came through the front door dragging a tree. "Santa, I knew you were not feeling the best this year. The elves are behind in toy orders and the raindeer all have gastro... I thought I might bring you this tree, to cheer you up a bit... where would you like me to stick it?".... and thats how the Angel got to be on top of the Christmas Tree... LOL


  • tenyearsafter
    tenyearsafter

    How do you know Santa has to be a man?
    No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.

    What does Santa call reindeer that don't work?
    Dinner.

    What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
    This will sleigh you.

  • ninja
    ninja

    My wife gave me an advent calendar...

    I thought....wow.....she is finally leaving the cult.......she's escaped the brainwashing.....woo hoo

    until I opened the first wee door.......there were two Jehovah's witnesses standing there with watchtowers

  • iknowall558
    iknowall558

    ninj lol.

    What did Santa Clause say to Mrs Clause when he looked out the window ?

    "Looks like rain dear"

    Whos is the only female reindeer ?

    Olive.

    ( All of )....the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names......la la la. (Not the same if you feel you need to explain it)

    Whats orange and comes down the chimney at Christmas ?

    Fanta.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    You all are giving me a great big grin this morning. It's gonna be a good day.

  • lovelylil2
    lovelylil2

    What did Adam say on the day before christmas?

    Its christmas Eve!

    What happened when the snowgirl fell out of love with the snowboy?

    she gave him the cold shoulder.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit