New understanding

by darnkid 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • jonathan dough
    jonathan dough

    I was an uber dub until I did some reearch for the Memorial this year. It suddenly dawned on me that the FDS were my mediator to Jesus and that I could not have a proper relationship with God without them. That concerned me. I strated doing some research which showed me that the organisation was based on foundation of lies and scams. I found out the truth about the occult practice of Pyrimidology practiced by Russell, the autocratic and despotic leader style of people like Rutherford and knorr, I woke up to the fact that the organisation is cult that uses processes such as disfellowshipping as a means to control people and information. My research and led me to here, where I was given some great advice and learned about other people who had been where I am now. I decided that I would fade from the congregation.

    I could not leave outright, my whole life has roots leading back to the congregation. The majority of my family are Witnesses, most of my business comes from witnesses, 43 years of my life being a witness means most of my friends are too. My children's friends are primarily witnesses. A couple of months back I bought Crisis of Conscience as a download, I got my wife to read it. She is now supporting me. We rarely go to meetings and are doing what we can can to build a life outside, but we have to fade and not get DF'd or DA ourselves unless we lose our family, and (selfishly) our inheritance.


    Breaks my heart.

  • darnkid

    Billy, you know they will say that is only if you live in the same house! I have found there is no reasoning with them. That is why I was never very good at the door. The householder could stump me every time!

    Of course, they are not making me choose between my faith and my family. They have taken away my choice.

    But at the same time I can only imagine the hell cantleave is experiencing, knowing it will get worse. Why would anyone believe God is so cruel??

  • Gordy

    My Eldest daughter got married this year in June.

    I was not invited to the wedding. In fact I only learnt she was engaged through a third party.

    I have not met her husband or even seen a picture of him.

    In fact the only picture I have of her wedding is one of her with her non-JW brothers and sister. Her husband was not even in that.

  • jamiebowers

    Gordy, that is so sad!

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Thankyou for raising this! This was to be my next thread as i am new and have to wait... i have so much to ask.

    I am about to face a very similar situation. My son turns 16 next month and my daughter is 13. I am really a bit scared that if they follow on with the witnesses and get baptized I will lose the relationship i have been building with them, even fighting the ex to have.

    Is anything new that i can use? new understanding? have the JW eased up in the last 10 years?

    All i have at the moment is to collect as many D/F nightmare, stupidity, double standards stories as i can.

    My mother, a JW for about 37 years is the only sane witness i know. She never stopped talking to her children, even has me stay with her on holidays. I think it's a great example, but i dont want the EX to even know (via the kids) because she is totally evil with no word of a lie and cannot be trusted.

    ps, billy, i just noticed your awake! reference... thankyou thank you. nothin like them contradicting themselves! mind you, they will close that bit with a big 'but' there will be consequences for going against the inspired of god W/T society!


  • etna

    Darnkid- sorry about all you have to go through, I've faded, but my wife (2nd wife) is now going to the meetings to get re-instated to talk to her kids and mine.(such bs)

    Aussie Oz- I'm sorry to say, the jws seem to be getting harder on df's. We are from Sydney, Australia and the elders are just power hungry.

    I hope you all are ok, as I know its so difficult for all of us. I just read and research how much the jws lied about so much, but I don't think Jehovah is like that at all. I'm still looking for answers, and I hope I find them.


  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Hi darnkid, welcome to the forum.

    I don't like your chances of having any influence over who your daughter marries if she won't talk about anything except health and edu regardless of what any new rulings are. After 19 years of high control cult indoctrination your daughters aren't going to be prised out in a couple of months.

    Your best chance of getting them out is to go back and get reinstated so that you can gently nudge them out from the inside. I'm sorry I don't have any less distasteful suggestions.

    ....he said there was "new thinking". I did not ask him what,...

    Always ask and never take their word for it. Ask for a copy of the article.

    Jws only give lip service to honesty, make them prove everything. Every time they are dishonest with you, force them to lie to your face and make sure they know you know it. Be nice when doing it. No antagonism.



  • deep-blue-sea

    Welcome to you darnkid! I'm so sorry for you, being without the support of family of friends! I can imagine how sad must be. living without your children. Show them love, tell them you love them, show them your interest for has so much strenght!!!

    Wish you to re-born to a new free life!


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