They "can give gifts on any day of the year"... But do they?

by Albert Einstein 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Albert Einstein
    Albert Einstein

    How many times we had heard from JW (commenting on christmass, mothers day or bithdays) "they dont need a pecial day set to give gifts, because the can give it on any day" .... but whats your experience if you compare JW and non JW ... are they really giving?

    My sons (7) example:

    He has NON JW grandparents: gets all kinds of gifts all the time, sweets, magazines, toys,

    He as also JW grandparents (well off): they almost never, really never, gave him anything. Two years ago it was little plastic toy - an aeroplane (worth maybe 2 $) and several years ago JW grandma made for him "home made" teddy bear...

    And I see it all around ... my NONJW family gives to me and to our family something all the time ... and the JW family almost never anything....

    Its not about money ... but is not giving gifts a way to build relationship and to show apreciacion and love?

    Is it not after all a good idea to set up days to give gifts to those you love, rather than play "Its not for me, I give gifts all the time" if you dont?


  • xeracia

    I never once actually got a wrapped present from my parents growing up. I would occasionally get toys and such. Especially as rewards for getting good grades in school or for doing a good job on a talk or some such. But a surprise wrapped up present? Never.

  • sacolton

    Very very rarely. Heck, even on our marriage anniversary (which is the 2nd only thing JWs celebrate) our JW "friends" (and family) did not send gifts or even acknowledge. That poor excuse "we can give gifts all year around" is just a load of crap talk.

  • WingCommander

    Ah yes....more double-speak from the high and mighty!!

    Growing up as a JW, I have seen and heard this hypocrisy all to often. See, here's the reasons why JW's don't give gifts or even think to do so:

    1. JW's are taught that giving too many gifts is a sign of materialism.

    2. Is a showy display of one's means.

    3. Is a sign of spiritual weakness (because you should be giving all of your "extra" money to the Organization), etc.

    4. Gift giving is associated with "worldy/pagan" holidays, so they automatically fear being seen as worldly. Refer to #3.

    5. Gifts are only temporary, Bible wisdom is FOREVER, so what is the best gift to give someone? Why, a free home Bible Study of course!

    6. JW's are too cheap to actually purchase nice gifts, to they make crappy "home-made" gifts if anything at all.

    7. Some JW's are so dirt poor from being a janitor and giving all of their "extra" money to the Org that there is hardly any money to have your suits pressed, much less give gifts to other people.

    8. Your money should being going to the Org. Did I say that already?

    Hope this short list helps.

    - Wing Commander

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    Yes. They're giving their time in the life-saving work. The most precious gift of all.

  • undercover

    Back when I was active and we had lots of (conditional) friends in the congregation, my wife made a big deal out of wedding anniversaries. She kept a calender with people's anniversaries and when the week of the event came around she would send a card. With her closer friends, she would buy them a gift. We bought many a dinner for other couples in celebration of the happy occasion.

    With the exception of one or two of her closest friends, no one ever reciprocated. Even when hints were dropped that our anniversary was approaching...nothing.

    I don't know if it was intentional or not, but with the constant harping of putting spiritual things first and the demonizing of holiday gift giving as pagan, JWs somehow managed to deny themselves all pleasure from gift giving instead of avoiding just the "pagan" holidays. That, or most dubs are just damn cheap and love the idea of not having to spend money on someone else and actually like the excuse of not celebrating holidays as a way to save a buck.

  • creativhoney

    I completely agree. some of us are very hospitable, me being the one always inviting people. - to be honest I didnt give a shit I always did a present day for my kids in the christamas hols until we made the stupid mistyake of moving in with my parents and they soon manipulated a stop to it.

    anniversaries I never made a big thing of because I saw some families doing it and it annoyed me because they would go all out and call it 'anniversary' like a holiday - yes we are all together next week its anniversary. - if a wedding is a joyous occasion then why not a birth? there is no sense in acknowledging one and not the other, - the only reason anniversaries arent frowned upon are they eithr dont have a good enough reason, or they think if they cancel that then there wont be any fun loophole and everyone will leave.


  • undercover
    anniversaries I never made a big thing of because I saw some families doing it and it annoyed me because they would go all out and call it 'anniversary' like a holiday - yes we are all together next week its anniversary.

    I knew some families that turned the parents anniversary into a Xmas substitution. Everyone in the family exchanged gifts on Mom and Dad's anniversary. All that was missing was a tree to keep the gifts under and a bearded fat man in a red suit...

    The anniversary tradition was the only approved tradition allowed so my wife over-compensated, I thought. I personally didn't care about other peoples anniversaries, but it was noticeable when we went to the trouble of remembering and acknowledging other people's but most didn't bother returning the favor.

  • jamiebowers

    In my experience as a jw, the only gifts given were at weddings and baby showers.

  • Finally-Free

    My ex used to surprise me with cards and wrapped gifts from time to time. I have to admit she was much more thoughtful in that respect than I was. My mom was another story though. Once she joined the JWs the gift giving stopped. In the remaining 30 years of her life I don't remember her giving a gift to any of her kids, grandkids, or great grandkids unless it was for a wedding or baby shower. Yet she was quick to say they can give any time of year. Yes, they can but they don't.


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