Elder wants to come for shepherding call

by 2pink 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • 2pink

    we are newly fading (actually, mostly disappearing). i haven't been to meetings in about 3 months maybe and hubby hasn't gone in a month or more. i certainly don't plan on returning, hubby is still undecided.

    anyway, an elder called and wants to come do a shepherding call. (this has nothing to do with the CO coming into town next week, i am sure, LOL). so how do i play this? do i just smile and nod? say something? say nothing? i don't want to out myself quite yet, and not sure i ever will. i'm still trying to decide if i want to stay in and play the "weak" card or DA myself. i just dont' want the elders to be the ones to make the call on what happens, kwim?

    tips appreciated for how to sit thru this visit with a straight face. thanks!

  • sir82

    Tell him you're [depressed, tired, discouraged, you-pick-it] and that you're just not up to a visit right now. You will call him when you would like a visit.

    If he (or anyone else) calls later to try to set up the appointment, just tell them you're still not ready, thank them for their concern, and hang up.

    If they come to your house unannounced, tell them that now is not a good time, please call before coming again, and gently but firmly close the door.

    Wash, rinse, repeat as needed.

  • leavingwt

    "I would love for you to visit with us. Unfortunately, I will be unavailable. I'll call you back if something opens up."

    Repeat as many times as necessary until he gets a clue.

    If he does visit, tell him how much you love Jehovah. DO NOT under ANY circumstances say anything even remotely negative or critical of WT.

  • sacolton

    He is looking for some verbal confession that you do not believe the Watchtower has "the truth" so to Disfellowship both of you. If he should ask why you haven't been to the meetings - use the "feeling depressed" or "stress" card. Worries about work or personal issues. Basically, it's a witch-hunt ... stand your ground and play innocent. Don't give him any ammunition to take back to the congregation to summon you for a Judicial Committee.


    "Unfortunately, I will be unavailable. I'll call you back if something opens up".....LWT

    I like it!..


  • BadBettie

    I just said I didnt have any time, work was crazy and my health was bad. After nagging for 3 weeks straight, the only person that ever remotely cared enough to harass me to "encourage me" gave up. They had personal investment in the situation, otherwise they probably wouldn't have been as pushy.

    Dont say anything negative or critical as said. You may even want to avoid saying you might have a problem with any part of the WT even just people you know sort of thing as they will have an excuse for everything/everyone and it will come back to you "being unreasonable" [which is not the case].

  • cantleave

    Saving for future reference.

  • lepermessiah

    To quote the great Grandmaster Flash from "White Lines" - Don't Do It!

    LeavingWT nailed it - keep the power by dictating how things go and play the game that way.

    Keep positive and upbeat - another one I like from here is "Thanks for your concern, but just so you know we are doing well and are in a good place spiritually - we'll be in touch if we need anything!"

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land

    Either use the 'depressed' / 'stressed' / 'not in a place to meet with you right now' routine (highly effective), or if you want to mess with their schedule / time a bit, make an appointment but don't be there.... leave a note on the door 'sorry, had to go to the doctor on short notice, didn't have your cell #.' Even more fun is to be home-but-hiding when they do this. When they call back, rinse and repeat. They will eventually leave you alone if you make it difficult to meet in person.

  • Tuesday

    "What day were you planning on coming, I have to get the Christmas decorations out of storage?"

    Something you could try for a laugh. If you're fading, just don't return their calls to set up an appointment. If they show up unannounced tell them you're feeling ill and now would not be the best time to see you. If they ask you when pick the grossest sounding disease and go with it. Tell them you have Swine Flu, or Ebola. OK so probably not Ebola.

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