Living With Regret - what do YOU regret about being in the org? (page 3)

Awen

I regret nothing anymore. I chalk it up to a learning experience.

I would have never come to Christ without the JW's.

I would have never learned what the "Truth" really is, without a falshood to compare it to.

I wouldn't know how to speak to active JW's and poke holes in their doctrines.

I wouldn't have been able to stand up to Elders and Annointed Ones alike and tell them they are wrong to put their faith in a human organization. That if the WT is indeed teaching the Truth, then why does YHWH see the need to establish a heavenly govt? Why not just work thru the WTS after Armageddon. Simple, the Org needs to be cleansed and the GB are not the New Apostles.

GLTirebiter

I never studied or joined, so I will offer you the regrets of this Un-Believing Ex-Spouse:

I regret not getting our verbal understanding in writing: that we acknowledge having different religious upbringings and beliefs, that we would accept those differences, and that we would respect each others' right to hold them.
I regret not realizing that it is impossible for a Witness to make and keep that promise while remaining a faithful Witness.
Most of all, I regret that Watchtower teachings separated me from the mother of our children, a woman I love to this day.

blondie

I grew up with a non-jw pedophile father and an alcoholic jw mother.

The jw doctrines were the least of my problems. At least I could escape my father at the meetings and conventions. I have gone through counseling and distanced myself from my family and healed. I have learned to cherish the parts of my past that were good and healthy, and thank all the people outside my family that showed us kids healthy love and modeled good emotions and actions.

I am enjoying my life despite any bumps. I have learned to live in the moment, not the past and the nebulous future.

Blondie

pat1060

I also regret the childhood my children had.They hate there school years.They tell people there childhood was awful....

garyneal

Blondie, oh my goodness! My heart goes out to you for the childhood that you had to endure.

Well, I was never a witness but I am married to one (currently an unbaptized publisher). I think my regrets that I am having to come to terms with are as follows:

Knowing that no matter how much I study the Bible and exhibit a Christlike attitude, she will never fully accept me as a 'true' Christian because some of my beliefs (that she labels 'Gary-isms') contradict the WT.

Knowing that the more immersed she becomes in the 'truth' the less and less I will ever be able to share with her the things that are important to me (like Christmas, and Birthday celebrations, New Years Eve Parties, etc.).

The fact that she will not be thankful if I want to do something nice for her on her birthday or mother's day. ("Why can't you do something nice for me all year round?" she will ask.)

The idea that she may never attend church with me, even though I still on occasions attend meetings with her. If she does attend, I will have to listen to her criticize how my church does things. (Back before I knew what I knew about the WT, this type of criticism would actually have me doubt my own faith and make me feel like maybe the witnesses were indeed onto something. At least now I have ammunition to fire back even though she does not trust the 'apostate' sources.)

The fact that my daughter could grow up confused and scared due to the Watchtower's strong stance on how they believe that only the witnesses will survive armageddon. I doubt I will ever find myself attending another dogmatic, legalistic church like I did in my early 20s (even if I were to agree with most of their teachings) because I don't want to add 'double confusion and anxiety' to my daughter's mind. Better for me and especially for her to attend a more seeker sensitive church that at least tries to follow the Bible as closely as possible but also sticks closer to Christ's simple teachings than preach hell-fire all of the time.

oompa

ditto as to everyone here with regrets....and like blondies comments about living in the moment now.....heard this recently and liked it

"if you keep one foot in the past, and one foot in the future, all you can do is piss on TODAY!"

i am going to start really living and enjoy my new freedom of thought and life....and try and stop visiting the misery of my born in jw past....hell i have even been absent a ton here lately....and see that as a good thing......off and on these past two years i would have to force myself to stay away from this wonderful lifeline!..........thanks all.............oompa

WTWizard

First, the time I wasted going to boasting sessions and out in field circus. They were supposed to be expanding, not replacing, my horizons. Yet, once I got in, that was all I ever got to do.

I also regret every rag I ever placed. All it takes is one placed where the person is not very interested (and is never home later), and they get company from out of state that becomes very interested on that rag (before the Internet and easy cross-reference). Later, that person becomes a witless in another state, saves a whole congregation, and possibly creating a death (or several deaths) that would not have happened had I not placed that one rag.

Plus the money I placed into the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund while I was in. This included buying littera-trash and food while they were selling it, the amounts I pledged toward a new Kingdumb Hell build the first time through, and $200 found in an appliance bought from a "brother(??)" who made me p*** it away into the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund. To think of what I could have done with that money--what a waste.

Not to mention whatever job opportunities I lost because I could not work certain evenings, loss of income from not being able to work Tuesday and Thursday evenings, that the witlesses were continually trying to get me to keep changing my employment so I could do more field circus, and not being able to work comfortably around the holiday season.

quietlyleaving

this story made me chuckle and I can identify with aspects of it to reframe my "regrets, sins and misdeeds"

Life is sometimes like this imo

reminds me of Ecclesiastes 9: 10 all that your hand finds to do, do with your very power..

I can't tell you exactly how all of the other barbarians and Greeks fought, but I can say this story about Artemisia and her deeds that won her even more honour from the king. At the very moment when the king's forces had descended into chaos, Artemisia's ship was being pursued by an Athenian ship. There were allied ships ahead of her and she was at very close quarters with the enemy, so that there was no way for her to escape. So this is what she decided to do, and it worked out well for her. Since she was being pursued by the Athenian ship she rammed an allied ship; the crew was from Calynda, and Damasithumos, their king, was on board. I can't tell you whether there had been some argument between them while still at the Hellespont, or whether what she did was premediatated or whether the Calyndian ship just happened by chance to be in the way. Anyway, she rammed it and sank it and, through sinking it, she was lucky enough to get double benefit. When the captian of the Athenian ship saw her ramming a barbarian ship, he assumed that Artemisia's ship was either Greek or a barbarian ship that was turning traitor and fighting on their side. So he turned away from the pursuit.

So this was a piece of good luck, to escape and not be killed. The second was that she managed to get the highest regard from Xerxes by doing the wrong thing. For the story goes that the king was watching and saw her ramming the ship and one of the king's attendants said, "My lord, did you see well Artemisia is fighting. She has just sunk one of the enemy." The king asked whether it really was Artemisia's ship and they said it was, recognizing the ensign on her ship. They assumed that she had sunk an enemy ship. As I have said, Artemisia was lucky all along, but particularly because there were no survivors from the Calyndian ship to accuse her. The story goes that, on hearing this, Xerxes said, "My men have become women, and my women men." They said that these were Xerxes' words.

( from Herodotus, Histories, 8.86-8)

iknowall558

I regret........loss of education and career. Came into the org. at 18 and left at 42. I left friends and family members out in the cold in that 24yr period. I regret allowing myself to be controlled and manipulated by men and women in the congregation. I regret any humiliation and embarassment I went through 'confessing' to 'sins' that was none of their god damn business. I regret being made to feel like some whore when an elder asked me (when my husband had just been publicly reproved for cheating on me) if "he had beaten me to it". I regret the fact that a family member was beaten senseless by a 'brother' in the congregation because he didn't like something that was said about him....and I regret that he was too scared to go out of his front door for 2months.....and couldnt do anyway until his face started to look normal again. I knew nothing of this for 2yrs and this 'brother' would still come to hall, go out in ministry and answer up......and speak to me. I regret the fact that I was talked out of going to my fathers funeral (non-jw) because it was being held in a Catholic church.

The thing I dont regret is telling the elders what I think of them......recording their shepherding calls during my exit and recording JC and Appeal and putting it up on Net. I am doing everything I can in my own small way to expose them....on a local level. I need to show them they have no hold over me any more and that they can't control me. I have leaflets today right in front of me that I will be distributing.......... that will be an annoyance to them...................hopefull it will make their ministry just that wee bit more difficult. ..........: )

Living With Regret - what do YOU regret about being in the org?

parakeet