Was Jesus a hunchback, unibrowed dwarf?

by villabolo 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • iknowall558
    iknowall558

    No , thats my boyfriend, that I haven't met yet...

  • ninja
    ninja

    for fluck sake.....my mother in law is the messiah?....now you tell me

    ...........now I'm off to wash her feet.......who knew veruccas and bunions and athletes foot were holy

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    ' So why did Judas have to betray him with a kiss, instead of just saying "He's the hunchbacked dwarf with the unibrow"? '

    Cuz nobody was looking DOWN low enough. The little buggar just didn't get noticed (if he wasn't talking).

    S

  • ninja
    ninja

    imagine the last supper....."and this jello means my hump....as often as you partake of it.....you remember the dwarfy hunched dude"

  • ninja
    ninja

    of course witnesses would only stare at the jello as it is wobbled around on a plate

  • ninja
    ninja

    unless you are one of the disjointed remnant....he he

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    beat me to it, sylvia....

    interesting read >>
    2002 cover story of
    popular mechanics (!?!)
    "the real face of jesus"
    http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/research/1282186.html?page=1

  • villabolo
    villabolo

    Sorry, I was out for a while. Now I have a lot of catching up to do.

    Glenster, I thought I remembered something about Slavonic Josephus being the source of this information. Apparently not according to your link.

    Kurtbethel, He would be dark skinned since Galileans were noted as being so. I would disagree with the Afro hair styling.

    Snowbird, yes I do remember seeing that reconstruction of a typical Galilean. I believe I saw it in an issue of Popular Mechanics of all places.

    PSacramento, I like your sense of humor.

    Big Tex, don't have a clue as to what you mean by Richard III. My History is a bit rusty.

    Iknowall558,.

    Satanus & ninja, seriously now, there is (a weak) explanation that cites the scripture where a man climbs a tree in order to see Jesus (Don't have time to hunt down that scripture for a careful analysis). It is assumed that this man was a dwarf but even a normal size man would have not been able to see Jesus through thick crowds. This leads us to believe, so the argument goes, that Jesus being shorter than average was even more difficult to see.

    There is also another argument about Mary meeting the post resurrected Jesus but not recognizing him at first. Thinking that he was the gardener she pleaded with the man to indicate where Jesus body was so she could take it somewhere else. It would be difficult for an average woman to take a normal size body anywhere. This argument is also weak since she could have asked the disciples for assistance but the scholars who take this point of view seriously argue that these scriptures are watered down remnants of a tradition that accepted the truth of Jesus physique. Or perhaps the original writers, not realizing it, had unintentionally slipped and given a hint.

    I fully realize that this is not much to go for but I was assuming that there were extrabiblical Christian traditions that described Jesus in vague terms as disgusting looking. So even if the quote attributed to Josephus is spurious there might be something to it.

    I don't pretend to be a scholar but as an enthusiast I find this idea intriguing even though I'm more than willing to concede that it may be false. That is why I'm asking our heavy duty scholars whom we all know and love dearly for some assistance in clarifying this.

    villabolo

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    there is (a weak) explanation that cites the scripture where a man climbs a tree in order to see Jesus (Don't have time to hunt down that scripture for a careful analysis).

    Zacchaeus

    Luke 19: 1 -4 Then Jesus entered and walked through Jericho. There was a man there, his name Zacchaeus, the head tax man and quite rich. He wanted desperately to see Jesus, but the crowd was in his way—he was a short man and couldn't see over the crowd. So he ran on ahead and climbed up in a sycamore tree so he could see Jesus when he came by.

    5 -7 When Jesus got to the tree, he looked up and said, "Zacchaeus, hurry down. Today is my day to be a guest in your home." Zacchaeus scrambled out of the tree, hardly believing his good luck, delighted to take Jesus home with him. Everyone who saw the incident was indignant and grumped, "What business does he have getting cozy with this crook?"

    8 Zacchaeus just stood there, a little stunned. He stammered apologetically, "Master, I give away half my income to the poor—and if I'm caught cheating, I pay four times the damages."

    9 -10 Jesus said, "Today is salvation day in this home! Here he is: Zacchaeus, son of Abraham! For the Son of Man came to find and restore the lost."

    Sylvia

  • villabolo
    villabolo

    Snowbird, in most Bible translations the shortness is attributed to Zaccheus but in the Greek interlinears, that is their english transliterations, the shortness can be attributed to either man. You could also detect the ambiguity in literal translations like our beloved NWT. Your translation seems to be slightly paraphrased, for example: "What business does he have getting cozy with this crook?" where "cozy" is "relaxed" in the original greek and "crook" is "sinner".

    There is also the issue of relevance to Zaccheus not being able to see over the crowd due to his shortness when an average sized man would have the same difficulty. Even a taller than usual man would have difficulty seeing more than Jesus head if he is surrounded by a thick crowd and is some distance away.

    Again, I do not consider these ambiguous citations as being even mild proof of this position but I was fascinated by that early tradition of a deformed Jesus. I threw in this scripture as a possible hint.

    villabolo

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