Has an elder ever made a difference in your life?

by monkeyman 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • monkeyman


    Well, one brother I recognized had OCD long before anything was ever known about it. I was surprised that nothing was ever printed in the WT about it at the time, around 1990. I took him to a psychologist, something others frowned upon. Others tried to help by reading him passages in the Bible. The doctor easily recognized the problem and prescribed a medication that helped tremendously. Interestingly the doctor said it was the highest dose he ever prescribed. But the brother stopped being suicidal and eventually got married and led a better life for a while.

    Another brother I recognized had a mental, not a spritual problem and also took him to the doctor. (Same doctor) The guy had paranoia. The doctor said it was the easiest mental problem to diagnose and the hardest to treat. (patients assumed the doctor was out to get them) The brother trusted me, took the meds and got better. To this day he thanks me for saving his life and marraige.

    One of the first shepherding calls is went on as a newbie elders was A young teen age girl have issues. They were just normal growing up issues but the elders and her parents were up in arms. I remember one elder reading the WT to her about smoking and just creating a huge guilt trip. Can you imagine just reading to her out of the bound volume? She was not responding. This guy was an experienced elder and I was a newbie, but I told him to put the bound volume away. (he was not happy with me) I just started quietly talking to her not about smoking which was just a symptom of the problem but about being angry and unhappy and the reasons causing it. She was very stoic for a young girl but tears just started streaming down her face. I think she always appreciated that and we developed a close bond after that. She struggled through those years but ultimately I could see her become happy and I think she appreciated the first time when I just talked to her.

    These are a just a few. I have more.

  • wantstoleave

    I've known two very good elders, very loving and sincere. The other gazillion I've known, not so loving and friendly. The two I speak of, helped me immensely when my husband abandoned my children and I. At least for the first 6mths anyway. I don't think they effectively communicated with my husbands elders however, with alot of information slipping through the cracks and my husband getting off scot free. Not even so much as a reproving. I do think that one of those elders genuinely felt for me and what I was going through, and detests my husband, as does everyone else who hears what happened. But justice hasn't been done, so I feel a little cheated at leaving the matter in their hands, and not taking the bull by the horns myself.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I made a difference in an Elder's life.

    Poor bugger didn't make Elder for years after he wanted to, coz his kid wanted a life.

  • designs

    Yes, two introduced me to mansize drinking at 15, Coors with a Jack Daniels shooter, I spent the next 37 years as an addict, damn near killed me.

  • Newborn

    Men who are good elders are not good coz they've been appointed they are just good humans in themselves

  • kriptonian7

    I knew two...They both helped me make a desicion that would have changed my life. They actually were the ones that helped me decide not to go thru with geting baptised. Granted the way i hadled it was a little chicken sh1t but i was 17 18 at the time. i was not ready for that and they knew that i had some changing to do. My desicion to just pull away came from the other elders' and the way they were handling my situation

    One was DF because he refused to witchhunt a peson in the congregation that was going thru a divorce. He did not beleive that she should stay with that person, and he after many years of faithful service, and sincere caring for his fellow brothers and sisters was tossed to the curb. Fkn ridiculous.

  • shamus100

    There were a few very geniune people in the high-control group, of course.

    Friendly, nice, caring. Very solid individuals that were 'born in' and knew nothing else. Sad, really. Oh well, they can live by one of those waterfalls littered all over the place in fantasy land.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Elders only really offer one type of advice if they are company men.

    Do more of the following:
    #meeting attendence
    #putting faith in Jehovah (and His organization)

    So any that make a positive difference are probably not following those simple rules.

  • monkeyman

    OOMPA...............you're right. This thread was not what was expecting. Too bad. I used to think that good things happened on a regular basis. Now I can see that they rarely happen. Verrrry disheartening.

    Shamus.............I want your picture

  • pat1060

    Many years ago an elder gave me some advice,I wish I would have listen to him,it would have made a difference in the rest of my life.....I think some of them really do try to help people.

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