I am so glad you posted this because it is probably the biggest thing that I struggle with. It is so hard to know the right answer..I have quite often thought about sucking it up and going to the meetings for a few months. I know that I would be reinstated quickly. However, when I think past the part of being able to visit freely with ones that I so desperately miss and love, I think about what I will be subjecting myself to. I have come a very long way to get to the point I am at. It has been a heartwrenching journey of self-discovery with my faith being shaken to the core. I have had to rebuild from the ground up, so to speak, to find out what type of person I am and what is important to me, not what someone tells me I should be. It is very difficult to live a lie. If you have any kind of integrity at all, you will be in a constant state of emotional turmoil. It is my opinion that we each have been given this wonderful gift of life. This one life and it is so precious. None of us know what is the future will bring or how long we have to enjoy it. All we know is what we have right here, right now. It is heartbreaking for any of us to be in a postion to even have to be faced with these situations that impact us so deeply, but it is what it is. The only thing we can do is make the choice to use the time we have wisely, surrounded by those who truly love us for who we are. If we squander this gift constantly trying to please other people, all we end up doing is hurting ourselves. Is it worth living a lie? Is it worth it to lower your standards and live under a false pretense for someone else's benefit? I am thinking, no.
ethical consequences of faking reinstatement...
by drew sagan 52 Replies latest jw friends
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drew sagan
...but I have to admit that I find your phrasing "ethical consequences..." amusing.
Yes, to a certain extent I confess the phrasing is a bit goofy. I suppose the basic premise i.e. three people deciving another, is my main concern. Can this really be worth it? Insincere religious belief is one thing, contant lies and deception spanning well into the distant future is another thing. Can this really be a relationship?
I suppose another main concern of mine is where my own opinions fall in all of this. I know that my wife needs to make her own decision on this, it is her time and effort. Yet I think the idea is a terrible one, something I would never do myself. I don't want to put pressure on her not to do this, yet at the same time can't hold back my own feelings...
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Black Sheep
I would be appearing to submit myself to that which I consider putrid.
There is no way I could criticize any person who had the balls to go undercover into any cult to rescue a family member or friend.
You can not go into a cult and announce your intentions and get an exit for a result. It just doesn't happen.
Legally, kidnapping and deprogramming is not longer an option. That doesn't leave much you can do if you want them out.
As for the parents, if the plan used to get the daughter out isn't going to result in their extraction at the same time, I would guess that it was flawed and would probably fail. It has to be a bloody good plan and I would be taking advice from an experienced deprogrammer right from the start. Every mistake that sets off their apostaradar puts you back months or years.
Cheers
Chris
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drew sagan
There is no way I could criticize any person who had the balls to go undercover into any cult to rescue a family member or friend.
Yes, but that is not what is being discussed here. Instead my wife is contemplating of faking a return to have some nominal contact form time to time with a sibling that does not know the return was not genuine (with further deceptions organized by both her parents)
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Awen
I would point out also what result this plan of action would have with you spiritual relationship with Jesus. Being new here and this being my first post, I know nothing of you and yours, so I will say this:
Jesus said that he came to earth not to bring peace, but to bring a sword, that his Truth would divide families and friends. Now that you know JW's do not have the Truth as revealed thru Jesus, then you must make a choice. Jesus or your family? No matter what their reasons may be for wanting your wife to return, it comes down to simple Truth. Jesus said that anyone who was not willing to leave their family and come to him , were not worthy of Him.
This line is often used by JW's to pull people away from their families and to set them up for "persecution from family members", to which they then point as being evidence that JW's do indeed have the Truth.
Now, the situation is reversed. Do you leave JW's to come to Jesus, or do you stay to please your family? Considering Jesus' words, is it possible to then have a relationship with Him with your attention divided?
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Black Sheep
undercover /faking a return, mean exactly the same thing in my book.
It has been successfully accomplished by members of this forum and I admire them for it. I would not do it myself because in my case I don't think I could make it work. Well, not at this point anyway. I have been known to change my mind.
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AudeSapere
The conspiracy part really doesn't sit well.
Someone already said it: A relationship built around deceipt isn't a real relationship.
It seems the more loving thing to do is let the stubborn sibling live the live s/he has chosen and the painful consequences of that choice. Hopefully, somewhere along the way s/he will get wise to the cult.
While I admire the commitment to restoring the family, this doesn't seem the way to do it.
-Aude.
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Awen
I tried a few times to return and came to the conclusion that when everyone sees Jerusalem (The GB) surrounded by enemies, the smart ones would flee into the mountains, whereas the stubborn ones would stay, awaiting rescue. I couldn't save anyone but myself. I could however offer comfort and support to those who decided to flee before the city is destroyed.
The decision to leave is an individual one, just as Jesus stated about those wishing to survive the destruction of Jerusalem should flee into the mountains and never return. Even though Jerusalem wasn't destroyed until 3 years later, it still occurred and those that made the personal decision to leave, escaped with their lives because they put their faith in Jesus' words and not those of the Priestly class (i.e. GB).
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drew sagan
It seems the more loving thing to do is let the stubborn sibling live the live s/he has chosen and the painful consequences of that choice. Hopefully, somewhere along the way s/he will get wise to the cult.
Yes, this is pretty much the conclusion that we have reached. The only sticky point is that her parents from time to time have had these blown up confrontations, where they make extreme emotional pleas for her to come back. This puts a ton of pressure on my wife, and to some extent she feels obligated to give this a chance in order to settle this issue (although I don't think it will actually settle it).
We talked about it this morning, and my wife basically said that she really doesn't feel like she will be able to go through with this. I simply do not want to have to go through all of this family turmoil all of the time, so I am going to interject (so far I haven't spoken to her mother about this stuff). I'm going to say that if our family is going to put up a huge sacrifice to cover over the pains caused by the watchtower, she has to make a sacrifice as well. I'm going to introduce her to Crisis of Conscience as well as In Search of Christian Freedom, and state that out of respect for our family it is our request that she read these books.
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AudeSapere
To be clear, the 'stubborn sibling' I was referring to was *not* your wife. That she would even consider returning under any circumstance shows that she is not stubborn.
I'm going to say that if our family is going to put up a huge sacrifice to cover over the pains caused by the watchtower, she has to make a sacrifice as well. I'm going to introduce her to Crisis of Conscience as well as In Search of Christian Freedom, and state that out of respect for our family it is our request that she read these books.
-Aude.