So my elder/dad says he will shun me....i figured as much...

oompa

so i know many of you guys say the best way to show dubs is to be all happy and all when you exit.....but not all of us are doin that well at it....even though i have lost all friends from my dub life....i really dont want to lose my son and folks....this would happen if i end this odd and painful arrangement of a marriage to a really wonderful wife who is hardcore jw

my desire for freedom and normal social life, and the 800 lb gorilla in the room we live with are not doing so well...........i am tired of having to leave the house and go in the garage to talk on the phone with my non-dub friends.....tired of totally separate social lives.......tired of rules in place that prevent us from speaking about certain taboo topics with each other........my mental/emotional state is not well and has not been for four years

so i spoke with my dad very openly and honestly about how i have had to wear "masks" through life....one for school since third grade to fit in....another for my parents and jw friends........and that now i still lead a double life when not around my wife........told him outright i feel jws meet every single definition of a cult btw.......he already knew i felt that way but had never said it so directly........i asked him if he felt history repeats itself and could FDS not be just like the scribes and pharisees that made so many rules for gods people that they had actually corrupted gods message............he said he has wondered that before too

so anyway........i mention how unhappy i am in my current life situation.........that i feel stuck and trapped still.....that i feel the need to be as far away from everthing jw as i can as i hate being judged and made to feel like a freak............and he says he is so sorry, but that he has no answers for me......i tell him i have been thinking of meeting with him, mom, and my son and laying it on the table that if i move on in life/love......i do not want to lose them....that divorce is tough enough without losing your very own family..........as i suspected, he said he would have no choice but to shun me just as he does my dfd son.....it does not matter to him that i also was a foolish kid who got baptized cause all my friends were and i felt pressured to........

i tell him i hope he can find a way around this someday, since these guys in brooklyn who make the rules change crap all the time, and that their interpretation of the shunning policy could easily be wrong and certainly goes beyond what is written in bible anyway..........to no avail of course.........

it sucks, and i may just sail far away in the next year.....i found a nice 36 foot Islander at a very good price yesterday (ya priest, i wish it was at least a 40)....even if only for a year or so, at least i would have one lifes dream under my belt and it sure would be nice to avoid the unpleasantries of life around dubs............oompa

wouldacouldashoulda

Oompa

Your account has sooooo many parallels to mine.

Sounds odd, but i like the fact that you have some friends you can call in secret. I faded 4 years ago and only started trying to make friends in the last 2 months. In an emergency I could easily die on my own and not be found for weeks.

Peace out

w

VIII

he said he has wondered that before too

as i suspected, he said he would have no choice but to shun me just as he does my dfd son

I'm so sorry. Having your parent acknowledge that they will cut you off, because the Cult in Brooklyn tells them to, is simply, unbelieveable. Unless you've been a Dub.

Please hang in there. I know that sounds hollow, but, you have come so far in the last month. Don't let his being blind in this cult get you off track.

(((Oompa)))

Olin Moyles Ghost

Sorry to hear that, man. I know you're not surprised, though.

You should pursue the sailing thing.

whoknows

I’m so sorry Oompa. You have been so open here on the board, I think we all feel as if we know you and many can totally feel your pain. I know you really gave it the good college try with your wife and family. If they decide to shun you, that is totally on them and their conscience. All you have done is to make the choice to change your mind regarding your religion, a decision you made as an uninformed kid. Last month’s Awake said that this is a basic human right and one should never have to choose between religion and family. The situation you have been enduring sounds intolerable. If you could just chuck it all and get away for awhile it might afford you the healing you need.

I wish you all the best.

leavingwt

I'm sorry to hear this.

Many of us know what you're talking about. It sucks, big-time.

Please hang in there.

The Almighty Homer

Sorry to hear about your troubles Oompa, tough stuff to handle when it involves so much within your immediate family like that.

and that their interpretation of the shunning policy could easily be wrong and certainly goes beyond what is written in bible anyway.

On that comment, I just wanted to say (The shunning policy) is implemented exactly the same way as other religious groups run

themselves on and its not just the JWS who do this, its essentially a precautionary devise thats there to protect the power that these

religious organization have acquired. So when they deem someone as an apostate its more for their sake and their self serving well being.

I think you've made a good effort to show to your father and other family members of the WTS. corporate corruption and you certainly deserve

a pat on the back for your efforts. Even when you reveal this apparent corruption, some people just don't want to let go of it

for many varied personal reasons and its more of an unfortunate annoyance to such as your self and perhaps to me as well.

Whole hearted empathy for you guy and I hope the future looks a bit brighter on your personal journey to happiness.

OUTLAW

Oompa..

Your going to have to make a decision..

Your situation sucks..

So did mine..

It`s time to move on..

....................

purplesofa

My eyes are open wide. By the way, I made it through the day. I watch the world outside. By the way, I am leaving out today. I just saw Haley's comet, she waved Said "why you always running in place?" Even the man in the moon disappeared, Somewhere in this stratosphere. Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can To make them realize, This is my life. I hope they understand, I am not angry I am just saying, Sometimes good bye is a second chance Please don't cry one tear for me I'm not afraid of what i have to say this is my one and only voice so listen close it's only for today I just saw Haley's comet, she waved Said "why you always running in place?" Even the man in the moon disappeared, Somewhere in this stratosphere. Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can To make them realize, This is my life. I hope they understand, I am not angry I am just saying, Sometimes good bye is a second chance. Here is my chance. This is my chance! Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can To make them realize, This is my life. I hope they understand, I am not angry I am just saying, Sometimes goodbye is a second chance. Sometimes goodbye is a second chance. Sometimes goodbye is a second chance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifXquF7SyO8

carla

Where are our jw apologists to offer comfort on threads like these?

I'm sorry Oompa for all of it. Damn cult.

So my elder/dad says he will shun me....i figured as much...

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