by mamashel6 26 Replies latest jw friends
i really just want to end it.
Then, by all means, go! With your kids playing sports and vying for scholarships, your husband has no right to disrupt the lives of his family. If there are bank accounts, take half, get a place and find an attorney to file for child and spousal support and divorce. Maybe reality slapping him in the face will cause him to cool his heels for awhile!
You hit the nail on the head my friend. He HAS lost his mind. You are right not to want to live your life unhappy and I truly feel that unless you find the will to empower yourself you will happiness will elude you. Wishy Washy Witnesses give everyone around them grief, including themselves, nothing but grief. My blood sister is one of those. I made the choice years ago to distance myself when I moved away far from her negative energy and confused state of mind. Getting shunned by two adjoining congregations I had grown up with was nothing in comparison to having to work through family fun and games. I do hope you find some terra firma very soon or that one of your sons finds the courage to put your dysfunctional husband in his place once and for all. If he firmly believes that this is the true religion representing the one true god then argue that no ammount of harrasment will do anything to sway your relationship with Jehovah. What is in your heart is non of his concern. That should shut him up. Emotional abuse is just that and dont forget that is what he is serving you and your sons.
Big hugs from London x
Welcome, and so sorry to hear about your situation. Sounds very difficult.
How about the "wives can be won over without a word from your good conduct?" Maybe he should read this scripture and apply it.
He needs to take stock of what he has-a home with a wife and three sons. He stands to lose a great deal. Perhaps you could write him a letter explaining your stand. Give it to him when he is calm. Tell him you do not want him to end up a lonely person that has driven away his family. Tell him you love him (if you still do, and it sounds like you do) and that you are willing to meet him halfway. This does not mean that you go to the KHall, but that you will not oppose him if he goes. He is free to worship as he chooses, and you should be free to do the same. This does not mean that you cannot share family fun, cooking, vacations, etc.
If his family are all witnesses they are likely pressuring him to come back. They are doubtless telling him his sons will die. This may be very upsetting to him, as you can imagine. I kinda feel for him, too.
Keep us posted!
Wow, I had to chime in. It does sound like you are in a rough patch and I can certainly relate. A few years back my wife 'lost her mind' but it wasn't exactly over the religion thing, it was over my son. Even the elder with whom she (and sometimes I) have our 'Bible study' with and his wife saw how bad it was (along with her mom and dad). It took her being carted off to jail one day before she woke up and made changes.
My heart and prayers go out to you as it is clear that he is not in his right mind. In fact, he's not even acting in a matter that pleases God. If the elders are supporting him it is most likely because they are not receiving the whole truth of the story.
In the meantime, you've got to do what is best for you and yours. Emotional abuse is still abuse and is hurting you and not doing your sons any good either. My son witnessed my wife 'losing it' that day and her pushing me around, scratching and hitting me. When the police arrive, he witnessed her being put in handcuffs and hauled off downtown. They showed great compassion for her because I never wanted for her to get in trouble (I just wanted to get away and take my son with me). So they did not actually put her in a cell and eventually brought her back home without pressing charges. Good thing too, because I think if they had filed charges, she would not be teaching preschool today.
He offered it, take the highway. The kids are old enough to see he's gone balmy. You are still young enough to enjoy your life. Maybe when he sees you're sane he'll repent and pull his head out of his butt. Good luck. W.Once
I hate to jump on the "then go" bandwagon. If he is so gungho, he may not support the kids future education. It may be necessary to get a lawyer involved to put a bit of force on him to support such. If these big boys have a football scholarship, then maybe it ain't such a big concern, but otherwise, protect the boys. Just an opinion.
But I am 46 years old, and i seriously dont want to live the rest of my life unhappy. Any advice or help out there for me?
Make decisions, plan, keep everything in control. You have to keep a cool head or you'll miss something. Great advice here, keep talking, keep learning.
WLG
