As a JW Were You or Someone you Knew Falsely Accused by Elders ?

by flipper 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    Thought I'd put this out there to see if you knew of people in the Jehovah's Witnesses who were falsely accused or mistreated by the " police " or elders in the congregation. Many times it's been by experiencing injustices that get us to get shaken out of our cult thinking mode and reality kicks in and the scales fall from our eyes that the WT society is just a man made organization whose leaders are no better than us - actually in many cases more unscrupulous and conniving than any of us would have ever been to each other !

    I was falsely accused 2 times . The first occasion led me to leave the organization cold turkey one night 6 years ago. The second occasion led me to fight the elders who DFed me in an appeal committee so I could still talk to my aged witness parents- and I won, got the DFing overturned.

    I'll try to be concise and brief. The first occasion my non-witness wife had left me and I was separated 3 months , divorce pending. I was having coffee with a female friend at Starbucks and apparently someone ratted me out to elders about HAVING COFFEE. Within a day or so 3 elders called me into the back room asking me if my ex-wife and I were getting back together. I said, " No , she's a methamphetamine drug user , endangers my children. " That didn't matter to them. They asked me if I had touched this friend at Starbucks inappropriately, touched her private parts or fondled her breasts ? I said, " No, she's just a friend. " Then they told me that although I had received marriage counseling from a professional therapist - I must have not valued my previous marriage if I was out dating after 3 months. I was so mad- I wanted to crawl across the table and strangle the younger elder. But- I went to my seat, picked up my books and walked out- never going back to meetings.

    The second time came AFTER I had not gone to meetings for three and a half years ! Even moved 80 miles from these former elders. My first ex-wife ( a fanatic JW who had remarried ) tried to malign me to my JW family by saying I was living with my fiance before marriage- one month before we were married. She drove 80 miles out of her way with her JW hubby and my youngest daughter to see if Mrs. Flipper and I were doing the horizontal bop on a Saturday morning ! I was fully clothed and had picked my fiance up to get tires on her car. No fornication.

    Not satisfied with this , my ex-wife not only spread lies to my JW family, but took it to my former elders where I used to live ! The elders harassed me and Mrs. Flipper on the phone wanting to meet with me for 8 months. I kept refusing saying I was guilty of nothing ! So they invited me to a JC - I refused to attend. 2 months later they send 2 elders to inform me I had been DFed for " circumstancial fornication ". I appealed the DFing because I knew my 80 something year old parents would shun me . I threatened the elders with a lawsuit if they DFed me unjustly without proof. My son stood up for me at my appeal meeting as a character witness, the appeal elders sent a letter to WT legal to see how to handle it. They came back to me and said I was " free to go" they overturned the DFing and would not DF me. I told them, " It took you 10 months to figure THIS out ? " Ridiculous.

    So since that time two and a half years ago- they haven't bothered me. My wife and I happily are free of the WT cult. Remember the WT society and elders will take whatever power you give to them. Don't give it to them. They bleed red like you and me. They are no better than you or me. They are not to be feared. Go live your life ! So have any of you had experiences of unjust dealings by elders- or heard of others as well ? Please share them here if you would. It may help others to stand up and not fear needlessly. Please keep pursuing freedom- and help others to do so as well ! Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Falsly accused..No

    I did everything,they say I did..

    The problem was..

    They could never stop laughing..

    That made it real hard for them,to ever be harsh with me..

    .......................OUTLAW

  • bluecanary
    bluecanary

    Your ex-wife didn't even need proof of you comitting fornication to get remarried and she still staked you out. What a bitch.

    I was falsely accused of something much pettier than sex, but it was enough to make me leave. I don't feel like typing it all up now. Maybe I'll tell it another time.

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    Oddly enough, no. But I have seen it happen to a very personal friend and the lies went from the top down - the top down. Jehovahs Witnesses are among the most vindictive low-classed low-self-esteem people I have ever had the displeasure of ever meeting.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Good question Mr. Flipper.

    But in all honesty, no I never knew of anyone who had been falsely accused. Everyone I knew who had faced judicial action freely admitted doing what they were accused of. I'm not saying it didn't happen, only I never knew of anyone.

    Now having said that, I knew quite a lot of folks who committed disfelloshipping offenses (sometimes criminal offenses) and never were brought before the elders, much less the real police. Sometimes it seemed the worse the offense, the more it was covered up. Backwards thinking it was.

    Chris

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    My son was accused of smoking because two of the 'brothers' he had been with had been smoking ,and were identified from an eye witness. During the JC the head Elder began berating our son to confess because they already had an eye witness ,but when I got pissed and starting asking questions we realized the witness only saw the other two actually smoking . So the Elder was guessing because our son was there he had to be guilty also. Instead of believing my sons version of what occured this brother acted as if he sorely wanted to break him down to a confession . I insisted they bring the witness in for a confirmation . After that the Elders admitted the eye witness had not seen our son smoke and the JC was over .....but not after many hard feelings from then on between this Elder and my son .

  • dissed
    dissed

    Falsely accused? Yes, several times, but will just share a relatively minor one. Wow, Flipper, that sounded tough, glad in the end it worked out well.

    I had a poor business dealing with a JW who just happened to know one of my local Elders. Little did I know he spread some lies about it to this Elder who shared with some of the Elders my supposed short comings.

    They decided to discipline me and my wife without telling us anything. 'Secret Reproof' as we called it later.

    We noticed they refused to call on us for comments nor were we given any school assignments. We were suspicious something was wrong. I mentioned my thoughts to one of the Elders I trusted.

    His thoughts? He never heard of anything, so it couldn't be true.

    We tested the theory. I raised my hand on EVERY WT pp and was not called on to comment. He noticed it as well.

    He told me after the study to stay at the KH. The Elders were having a meeting about it.

    He came out later, was angry, and approached me with the service overseer. They apologized and said, nothing would be held back from us anymore.

    He called that night to say that the WT, Bk Study, and TMS overseers made this decision independent of the Body.

    We found out, this was just the beginning, when the same three tried to DF us later on false charges. "Its not nice to fool with the Elders, even when you are right"

  • rmayer32
    rmayer32

    Happened to me a couple of times, but it probably had to do with the times when I wasn't falsely accused. They seemed to chase me around for a few months trying to find something and eventually they quit. Didn't matter, the writing was on the wall for me, and in January of 1989 I told them what they could do with their pettiness and where they could go with it.

    Been a nice couple of decades!

  • yknot
    yknot

    Yes, many times......and not just me but several others

    The last time I was accussed of something....well actually more like the prime suspect ......was less then 6 months ago.

    Of course being innocent was exhonerated but I never did get an apology from one of them, only a brief lecture on my being humble and forgiving like a 'NICE' submissive sister who afterall being a born-in knows the 'Elder Brothers' are '''IMPERFECT'''

    For the sake of not outing myself I don't think I will share the details but lets just say it was really really stupid stuff.

    Troubled Mind that sounds very similar to how Elders did things in my KH under our old Nazi PO. So many kids treated like criminals over nothing more the gossip! I am so glad you stuck up for you son and the Elders dropped the case.

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    YES, one elder asked me long time ago if I ever went to Strip Club? I told him NO (I was telling him the truth), he did not believe me, then the elders decided not to use me for public prayers, etc...

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