Daddy and mommy won't be in the New Order

by dissed 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • dissed

    It's time for my weekly Sunday afternoon rant.

    My story starts with my daughter seven years ago when she was 11. Even though we were not associating anymore, we would let her stay with her JW grand parents and JW cousins some distance away for overniters.

    Coming back from a visit, she was noticeably reserved. She told my wife at bedtime, she NEVER wanted to go back and visit grandma. And why?

    They had told her we would not be in the New Order. My daughter is not stupid. She knows that means we would be killed at Armageddon.

    How would you react to your little girl being traumatized like that?

    Our initial feelings were to call and let them have it, but calmed down and decided to not let her visit unaccompanied anymore. Seeing as they don't visit with us, we knew they would not take the initiative to set up any encounter. We were right. They have never called, nor written, nor done ANYTHING to see their grand daughter. They are loyal JW's.

    When one of her JW cousins died, she refused to go to the service. I insisted she go, but she absolutely refused. She wanted nothing to do with that religion. She is very firm. She has vocalized this many times. She wants nothing to do with a religion that wants her mom and dad killed.

    Are they, her grand parents, unique in their reasonings?

    Now to my nephew and his wife who dissasociated themselves six years ago.

    His parents took the same stand. Refusing to even greet him and completely avoiding his kids, even though they lived right around the corner. He went to them and pleaded with them to spend time with the kids. They were cold in their reply, but called to say they would come by to visit. That visit lasted five minutes. But they did call later and asked if they could take the kids to see a local play. My nephew liked the idea and they did.

    Their oldest kid, maybe eight, came home crying. They had told her, mommy and daddy would not be in the New Order. Unbelievable!

    Unlike me, he called his parents and questioned them. Their reply, "Do you want us to lie?" Unbelievable!

    Unlike me, he has continued to try and work with them, but they are only allowed to visit in his presence until, as he says, "when they learn to behave."

    His parents are loyal JW's.

    This has been our experience. Two different families, two different places, one same rotten attitude. Coincidence? No, not at all. They both serve the same master. The GB of the JW's.

    I'm curious as to your experience with a similar situation, and how you handle it?

    I hope its not all the same as ours, but I'm afraid, many have had something similar happen to them.

    Rant over, your turn.

  • cawshun

    I am not a jw but my daughter married one. His mother is a pioneer and step dad is an elder.... My grand-kids, on occassions, far and few between do spend the night with them. I always worry that they may say something like that to them about me and my husband. I don't know what I will do if I ever hear they said such a thing to them about us.

    The kids did tell me one time that, if I celebrated christmas and birthdays, that I worshiped the devil.... I told them that was not ture. I don't think my daughter or son-in-law told the kids that because they allow them to come to my house on Christmas Eve and have presents. They don't spend time with any other witnesses other then thos jw grand-parents. I don't think it came from KH either, they told me this during the summer, so its not like it was being discussed at the hall.

    What a shame people have to impose these frightening thoughts on small children. I pray for the day my kids wake up to this farce.

    Good Luck to you and I'm so happy your out, especially for the sake of your children.


  • LucyA

    I was told the same about my (unbelieving) Dad heres what my father told me when asked "heres the thing not everything every adult says is true if someone says something that you don’t understand or upsets you. You should come and talk to your mother or me and remember not take everything at face value"

  • mrsjones5

    You've got a very wise dad Lucy

  • dissed


    I'm not sure what you are getting at? Applying Mt 18?

    The point I'm trying to make is the attitude being shown by JW's who follow the GB admonishing of shunning. They not only follow it, but justify it by how they treat family members.

    We have never shut them out of their grand daughters life. They, like I said, after the incident, have NEVER even communicated with her. It was always one sided, ours having our child visit. If they don't love their grand child to even try to communicate, what should we do, force them to?

    My daughter has responded appropiately by a unloving JW. They don't care for her and why? Because they are good, and loyal JW's. She has reacted to their unloving, lack of any real attention.

    Yeah, its a crappy situation. But how do you reason with people so blinded by the GB if they refuse to even listen?

  • blondie

    Imagine that approach at the door, BTW, householder, if you don't listen to us and become a jw, you will soon be birdfood.

  • LucyA

    The point I was getting at is for some people they can’t justify removing their children from the family’s completely. It's all in the context of how you explain what’s told to the child and if you have an open line of communication between a child and their parents. Don't get me wrong I find JW shunning practices repellent I’ve seen it destroy lives and families.

  • dissed


    Thanks for your clarification

  • wantstoleave

    I have alot to do with my family, my kids and I see them every single day in fact. I have not left the organisation yet, but am planning to. What's stopping me is losing my interaction with my family. I do know however that nothing would stop my parents from seeing my kids. I know they love them as their own, and would still be in their lives probably everyday. But, I'm not sure whether they'll shun me or not. I think my dad is capable of it, but I'm not sure on my mom. My next concern is like what you've mentioned above. I don't think my parents would tell my kids I will die. I don't think they'd want to heap that on their little shoulders. But I'm sure they would want to take them to meetings. I haven't decided what I think about that yet.

  • TheOldHippie

    We never have shunned our kids when they were / are out, we see them just as often and just as close as we do with our "in" kids. And our kids see each other and have contact and make no difference between each other and their kids again, disregarded if they are "in" or "out". No-one make any difference and no-one even thinks about so doing - and we are often told how much that is appreciated. Cost me my elder position, but won me my family.

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