I left my husband at the end of June. We were having a lot of issues in our marriage that I tried to talk about and he refused to see or even acknowledge. Me leaving was the final straw but to him I just up and left for "no reason". To him our marriage was fine because well, you know...we were witnesses and witnesses don't split up no matter what. We have 3 little boys - age 3,3 and 2
On the day I left I went in and told him I was leaving him, and I immediately started a relationship with another man - a former JW who I knew growing up. NOT the best idea, I know that but it happened.
I posted what happened soon after I left in another thread so I wont get into that but for the rest of June, July and August I didn't have a place to take the boys so I would go to "our" house and spent some time with them. At first my ex made it really weird, he would sit there on the couch and stare at me, follow me around and just stop and stare with puppy dog eyes and not say a word. The inlaws live in our basement and also made it weird since now I'm DF'd and they have to shun me. So for 2 months this went on. On a couple occasions I switched the days I was going to come see the boys because I wasn't feeling well.
As of September 1st, I got my own apartment and bought 3 beds and 3 mattresses for my kids and since then I've had them from Sunday after the meeting until Wednesday morning. I work full time, so when I'm at work my mother in law babysits them as she always has.
So we're going through custody issues - basically my ex has said he knows I'm a great mom, knows the kids should be with me and there's no reason not to. BUT, in typical JW fashion, him and his family are ASSUMING that I've gone right off the deepend because I no longer want to be a JW. They are assuming that I'm living some crazy party lifestyle, drinking constantly and doing drugs. I've told my EX that I'm not doing those things and he says "I believe you but you no longer are a JW and I have to assume you are doing these things because I have no way of knowing that you aren't"
We both have our lawyers. I'm asking for 50/50 custody with something in there saying that I would support him raising the kids JW (even though now I'm not so sure I want that).
He is asking for the house, the car, the kids - everything.
We had a meeting with our lawyers yesterday and he has a JW lawyer (who we used to be in the same congregation with BTW). She says that she has "something" on me and she couldn't in her right conscience let me have the kids 50% of the time. She wouldn't tell me OR my lawyer what it was although I'm hoping they talk this week. Anyways, she states some case law to support it but again wouldn't say what the case law was. She also demanded that we speed up the divorce, that I "admit" to adultry so the EX can move on with his social life.
Talking to my lawyer - he can't see how she could have anything against me. Yes, for 2 months I only visited the kids at OUR home about 4-5 times/week because I had no where to take them. I was confused and it was hard with what was going on - being DF'd and dealing with crazy family members.
Thing is, I think my EX is LYING to his lawyer. i already know he's taken words I said about our marriage and told the lawyer I said it about the kids (I can't do this anymore, I'm not happy, etc...). We have got in 2 fights since the seperation and his lawyer knew about them and seemed to be under the impression that I fly off the handle all the time. They are also trying to attack my mental health (which I'm not worried about because I've already seen my Dr and have her backing that there's nothing in my history - past or present that would give her any concern about my mothering.
I confronted the ex at our meeting that he told me one thing - that he knows Im' a good mom etc, but is telling his lawyer something else. He sat there the whole meeting with his head down like a beaten animal - I almost feel like he knows I'm a good mom and knows he's lying and being forced by his parents and gung-ho lawyer to get full custody because I'm not JW and now a "bad" person.
So my question is - has anyone been through this? I'm so scared of losing my kids, I have done NOTHING wrong and find it very ironic that I'm now the "worldly" one who's trying to be fair and he's the lying JW. it's also strange that his lawyer is saying I'm not a devoted parent and that she can't in her right mind let me have joint custody, yet I ALREADY have the kids for almost half the week and have had them since September 1st. IF what they had was so bad that I would lose custody - why would they let me have the kids now?