child abuse

by John Doe 10 Replies latest social humour

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Justice in Buffalo, NY

    The Buffalo News

    FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2009

    Buffalo NY (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Erie County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible..

    The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

    After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

    After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Buffalo Bills, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

  • jeeprube

    LOL you're sick dude, and funny!

  • mouthy

    ROTFL(wise guy

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    I liked the story. It gets you ready to be all pissed off, and then instead leaves you with a humorous and light hearted note.

  • caliber

    A roller-coaster ride like that will even scare a holy man

  • caliber


  • brinjen

    Very funny!

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Dear Mom and Dad,

    Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

    Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

    Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

    The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

    We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

    We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.

    Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

    This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster, so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

    Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

    Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dove into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.

    Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

    I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy some more beer and ammo.

    Don't worry about anything.

    Love, Freddy

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    A man takes his wife to the State Fair and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They come up to the first pen and there is a sign that says "This Bull mated 50 times last year."

    The wife pokes her husband in the ribs and says "He mated 50 times last year."

    They walked a little further and see another pen with a sign that says "This Bull mated 120 times last year."

    The wife hits her husband and says "That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him"

    They walk further and a third pen has a Bull with a sign saying "This Bull mated 365 times last year."

    The wife gets really excited and says "That’s once a day." You could REALLY learn something from this one."

    The husband finally turns to his wife and says,
    "Go up and ask him if it was with the same ol’ cow."

  • caliber

    not sure about the thing

    an old cowpuncher

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