Were You Always Feeling Guilty As A Witness?

by minimus 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    I think the religion works on guilt. Everyone is made to feel they're not good enough some how or perhaps they practice a "secret sin" and it gnaws at them. So they decide to Pioneer or "do more", recognizing they can never really make up for whatever shortcomings they have.

    Were you a guilt ridden JW? Over what???

  • bigwilly

    Never felt guilty so much as watched. I'm pretty sure I couldn't even fart without everyone knowing for a 60 mile radius. That's alot of why I moved and eventually faded, the backstabbing rumor mill was getting to be too much. I'm sure alot had to do with my paternal unit's status in the cong, but everyone reported everything to him or the elders even though I was 20 years old. Honestly I lived very well within the standards and was a good little dub up until I left. Why put up with constant scrutiny and finger pointing if you're not guilty of any offenses?

  • jamiebowers

    I felt guilty all of the time. After nothing was done about the child molestation and later the domestic violence I'd experienced within the organization, I was certain there was something particularly nasty about me that Jehovah would allow it to happen. I didn't know what "it" was, but I certainly felt guilty about it. Also although I remained smoke free the whole time I was baptized, I never lost the craving for cigarettes. Even though I knew everyone had some problems, I had no idea that there were so many who were molested as children and battered within their marriages.

  • Casper

    I was a witness for 13 years, not once did I ever feel "refreshed" as a witness, in all that time.

    I lived and breathed guilt constantly, not from any secret sins, but from feeling that I was never good enough no matter how hard I tried.

    Nothing was ever enough, the "Do More, Do More" mentality drove me insane.


  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    I remember thinking so often that I spent so much of my life doing things I didn't want to do.

  • JimmyPage

    God, I remember feeling guilty from the time I was in grade school. I was constantly praying to Jehober to forgive me for this and forgive me for that. Ridiculous for a child to feel that way. Gibbering Body, have I told you lately that I hate you?

  • straightshooter

    I have to agree with bigwilly. I felt constant being watched and monitored. Funny it got worse when I became an elder. The CO wanted to micro-manage and the alpha elders constantly wanted you to stay on their side of the issues.

  • littlebird

    Yes, I felt guilty about everything. Especially, "conscience" matters, because really, nothing is up to your conscience because there is always someone there to tell you how spiritually weak you are if you do something that is supposedly up to your conscience. It got so bad that I was diagnosed as having "borderline personality disorder". A symptom of this is the inability to see things in a "gray area" , all choices are black or white.

    Funny, I don't seem to have it anymore since I left the jws.

  • bluecanary

    Yes yes and yes! Guilt defined my existence. Stopped the second I realized the JWs weren't God's people.

  • caliber

    What a difference there is between being a brother and being BIG BROTHER.

    fear comes the mind... but

    The very nature of the meetings & the whole programing is designed to induce fear & guilt thus producing dependency .

    To not have felt least some guilt means you weren't listening to the programe

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