if you require a shepherding visit, it clearly means you are weak, possibly inactive, missing loads of meetings which all means you ain't out banging on doors selling books and magazines, the WTS is very worried about this because a source of their income has been cut off by your voluntary free slave labour, so in reality they are sales visits and any one who tells you anything other then that is a liar, does anyone ever remember getting a S/C when you were regular in service/meetings etc?
shepherding visits.....were they?
i can give you the reader's digest version
of every (both) shepherding visits we had:
read the family happiness book
lol....Im not sure what shepherdings are for but i think if your doing ok they leave you alone..well that seems to be the case for us anyway.
We do well, im doing pioneer hours and hubbys doing well so guess thats why we havent ever had one,not that i mind :)
Nar,wopuldnt make me want to leave the org,isnt the orgs fault.....just elders being too busy :)
do you count your time on here AE?
My best friend and her husband had a 'shepherding visit" about a month after they were married. They had missed some meeting while adjusting to thier new married life. The elder stood at the door and accused them of having had sex before they married...so he figured they were feeling guilty and not going to meetings. If you knew this couple you would know how absurd the accusation was. They were so insulted they started going to a different congregation. That elder persued them there, and was checking up on thier attendence at thier new congregation. My best friend ran into this elder at an assembly. He asked her why they changed congs. She looked him dead in the eye and said "because I don't like you" and she walked away, leaving him standing there with his mouth open. Gotta love her.
My best friend and her husband have been married over 35 years. They are out of the wt...have been for at least 25 years.
I don't know where to start, I have expeirenced nearly eveything mentioned so far, and it bothers me too much to think about it, but the thing that bothered me the most is they never come around me unless they want something, or to drowned the seeds before they can grow.
jookbeard - yes, in fact the only time I ever got a "shepherding call" was when I never missed a meeting and was a regular pioneer, go figure.
Now let me tell you what this visit was like...First off, the elder that was to "sherpherd" me gave me the day and time he wanted to come over. It didn't matter that I worked crazy hours just to be able to pioneer and support myself in the first place and that the time that worked best for him was during the time I usually got some much needed sleep. I thought shepherding calls were meant to discuss how I was doing and to get assistance if I needed it. So considering that I did not feel comfortable sharing such information with this particular elder I went to another elder and asked if I could get someone else to shepherd me, someone I felt comfortable with. Well, his reaction made it clear that I had some nerve to make such a request! He "assured" me that the appointed elder would be encouraging to me and if after his visit I still felt I needed to talk to someone, well then I could. So, new to the org and never having learned to stand up for myself, I agreed. So the elder brings a MS that is my age (in other words extremely young- remind me what the Bible says the qualifications of such people are - can someone in their teens or barely 20 really qualify?) So now I'm faced with 2 brothers I am uncomfortable telling my personal business and struggles to. But in the end it really didn't matter anyway. The elder had some kind of script he went off of. It was not a personal visit geared toward my needs at all. I don't remember anything discussed. Granted its been years, but I think I would have said the same thing the next day if anyone bothered to ask, which they didn't.
I have had several visits. I guess because my ex husband and I had were always on the fringes and on the verge of a divorce usually. My ex always got counciled to attend meetings more and I got advised to pray more. This advice was always the same no matter what the problem was...Cheated on wife???? attend meetings and pray....doing drugs????? attend meetings and pray....really depressed???? attend meetings and pray..you get the point....anyways, I always think to myself why no one had the gumption to just say to me "look hun, you deserve so much more than this asshole, marraige is not about waiting up for hubby until 6 am and raising your children alone..." but I guess that would have been too loving and sincere...
The last call I got was about my lack of attendance. I pretty much told elders I was reevluating my life and what I wanted to teach my children. One tried the old "kids will die in aramageddon" routine. But they never came back again!
Even if they actually would like to help you, they are bound by their own policies...soo sad...I bet many have alot of regrets on how they "helped" many in the congregation.
Hmm, I remember one when I grew a goatee. The elders spent a good 45 minutes trying to convince me how worldly they were. The only 'evidence' they offered though was:
"Could you imagine Jesus shaving those designs onto his face?"
well, I can contribute from 2 sides:
I got a couple of sheperding calls, mostly encouraging, no big issues discussed, seemed ok
and I made SC myself, tried always to be encouraging, listening, clinging close to the bible and not forcing personal opinions, is sometimes not so easy, because some brothers want to hear, what they should do, instead of thinking for themselves and applying Gods word.
Isaacaustin: I was raised in the "truth" and one thing always bugged me, was the attitude towards beards, why in all the world should something God created in men be unsuitable for his people ??? stupid rules...fortunately lately it seems to become less and less an issue here in Europe at least...