Common JW dating practice? (page 2)

creativhoney

it makes sex dirty because your always meant to be thinking about it. how can anyone marry if they have never been allowed to be alone? when I was younger even my phone calls got chaperoned! - I dont know one marriage that hasnt broken up. JWs must have a proportionally higher divorce rate.

JWoods

it makes sex dirty because your always meant to be thinking about it. how can anyone marry if they have never been allowed to be alone? when I was younger even my phone calls got chaperoned! - I dont know one marriage that hasnt broken up. JWs must have a proportionally higher divorce rate.

Exactly. My ex-wife (typical JW rushed shotgun marriage) was one of those manic-compulsive clean the house to distraction freaks. I never even knew until we got back from the honeymoon - and we moved into my condo in Oklahoma City. I got up that Sunday night and got a piece of cheddar cheese out of the refrigerator, put it on a saucer, and started cutting off slices while I watched the late news on TV. She went more ballistic than a Soviet ICBM - for Gawds Sakes - she had ALREADY DONE THE DISHES!!! It lasted for about 1.5 hours. Then I knew (for the first time) that I had truly married a psychotic witch.

greenie

In my brief experience, I've met many, many divorced JWs all under THIRTY! To be very honest, I don't know that many divorced couples in my own group of (non-JW) friends. In addition to the numerous divorces I've noted, it also seems that these marriages don't last longer than a year or two.

I've also seen a loophole of getting engaged but then breaking it off. Any of you try that?

tenyearsafter

Based on my experience and those of several others my age. the marriages occurred very early (I was 19 and she was 18) and usually lasted as long as both spouses were active JW's. Even if unhappy, the mindset is that you have no options. I have seen several long time JW marriages, including mine, break up after one spouse becomes inactive or leaves the Borg. I was married 24 years before I finally realized that I had an option to living unhappy. Once again, high control is an incredible barrier to action. I am not advocating divorce, but I definitely am against kids getting married because they are forced to do it or face being ostracized by the congregation.

BluesBrother

Around here it is young marriages and teen dating that are frowned upon..Of everybody knows what they say about chaperones but I do not think it very strictly adhered to.

The Young People ask book just has it as a "tip" that

"Date in groups, or insist on having a chaperone. Avoid risky settings, such as being alone in a parked car or in a house or an apartment."

"Keep Yourself in Gods Love" just has a picture caption that "Many couples wisly arrange for a chaperone"

Before that it was 27 years when WT 1981 said

"It is better to avoid the situation. Have others there.” Yes, a chaperone can give you the extra strength to dominate completely over the sexual desires in your bodies when you are together. "

I don't think the counsel is as strong as it once was

Finally-Free

When my ex and I dated we had a chaparone a few times, but most of the time no one was willing to chaparone us. We ended up going to restaurants a lot, or other public places. No seperate cars though. She didn't have a car anyway, but I would have written the idea off as ridiculous.

W

WTWizard

Basically what they want is every opportunity to bust it up all the way. Putting off fun and enjoyment until after one dies, devaluing life now--and they wonder why there is so much s*** going on within the organization. And fornication is the least of their worries these days.

wha happened?

What I hate is all of this based on the fact that they presume u want to screw up and get the hairy triangle. True we all want it, but even if misdirected, some of us really try. With wife #1 we did not do the freaky horizanal bop. Even though there were blanket accusations. Did it mean anything? no. We still divorced. By year 8 we wanted to kill each other.

Wife #2 and I cared little for the restrictions. It's now year 8 since we met and we are still very much infatuated with each other.

Dating in the JW world is a trip back to the 30's. And it's a failure

zugzwang

Drive in separate cars when going to the same place? Are you kidding me? I remember when pioneering that occasionally the only people who would show up would be myself and a young pioneer sister. We never thought it was necessary to take separate cars. We were poor pioneers, we couldn't afford the gas for one car much less two. What we usually did was the old "driving miss daisy" thing, where one of us would sit in the front seat and the other in the back. That way just in case some Witness saw us out in "service" they wouldn't be offended or get the wrong idea.

Common JW dating practice?

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