Common JW dating practice?

by JimmyPage 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • JimmyPage

    The other day I was at a drive-thru when I saw a couple of young dubs eating inside by themselves with no chaperone. They then left in separate vehicles. It reminded me that when I was dating my JW wife it was her idea to take separate vehicles to avoid arousing suspicions. We would then meet up and do as we pleased.

    Just got me wondering how common this is as a way to skirt the oppressive rules?

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    yea I remember doing that. Even that was frowned upon by the friends. "You should always have a chaparone".

  • blondie

    If you are in a public place, a skating rink, shopping mall, restaurant, museiums, I don't think the WTS finds anything wrong with that as long as you come in separate vehicles. Elders and other jws may have their own opinion.

    *** g94 3/22 p. 17 How Can I Avoid Toying With Immorality? ***

    Enjoying each other’s company on visits to museums, restaurants, skating rinks, and so forth is usually safer.

    *** w99 9/1 p. 18 par. 15 Youths—Train Your Perceptive Powers! ***If you are dating, you are wise to avoid being alone with your prospective mate under inappropriate circumstances. So it may be best to enjoy each other’s association in a group setting or in public places.

  • lepermessiah

    I believe meeting in a public place is allowed without a chaperone as long as the woman is wearing her chastity belt:

  • bluecanary

    Yeah, it's allowed--in writing. I know because I had to look it up when everybody in my hall including the elders threw a fit over me and my fiance eating in a restaurant together.

  • JWoods

    Is it possible that all this repression only serves to make those JW girls even hotter than they ever should have been in the first place?

    In my limited experience, I always found that a "good" JW girl could match about 3 coked up Dallas exotic dancers on any good day of the week.


  • PSacramento

    One thing that is for sure, to deny natural impulses only serves to make those impusles stronger.

    Prohibit something and people who never wanted it, will want it.

  • leavingwt

    My wife and I never once had a chaperone with us, when dating. It ticked a few people off. I kindly reminded them that the WT magazine suggests a chaperone. It does not require one.

    One elder told me that I was "setting a poor example". I let his words go into one ear, and then out the other. I had not been re-appointed in this congregation, nor did I want to be, so there was absolutely nothing he could hold over my head. Had I been a Ministerial Servant or an Elder, they would have no doubt issued a veiled threat to me, requiring me to have a chaperone.

    We remained in good standing and had a Kingdom Hall wedding.

  • lepermessiah

    Just to take this a little further:

    I had some good friends who were dating and then were engaged to be married.

    They were hauled in the back room when they were dating for SITTING together at the meeting. It turned out to be this big deal which they both kind of laughed off but I went ballistic over.

    Then, once engaged, they were hauled in the back room for HOLDING HANDS during song and prayer. Yes, they were allowed to sit together once engaged......LOL seems like small things, but that is the crap that over time made me so disgusted. I could see the Pharasees of Jesus' day coming up with rules like that.

  • JWoods

    In all due seriousness - it is this kind of practically Amish high-handed management of natural courtship which leads to so many premature (and BAD) JW marriages.

    Just as the celibate priesthood of the Catholic Church attracts natural born pedophiles, so does the uber-sex-management role of the elders attract the natural born perverts to these positions.

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