I like to post the link to the elder book so all can see it. http://www.angelfire.com/mo/flockbook/
Proper View of
Disfellowshipped and Disassociated Persons
If an individual is trying to influence others to take an
unscriptural course or is trying to deceive others, all
should avoid him; he is described at 2. John 9-11.
Disfellowshipped and disassociated ones are shunned by
those who wish to have a good relationship with Jeho-
Basic Scriptural counsel on the proper view of those who
have been expelled from the congregation is set out in the
apostle Paul's words at 1 Corinthians 5:11- 13.
John counsels against speaking to or associating with a
disfellowshipped or disassociated person so as not to be "a
sharer in his wicked works." (2 John 11 )
Scriptural and historical guidelines on how to view
disfellowshipped and disassociated persons are found in
The Watchtower, September 15, 1981, pages 20-31.
We need to be especially cautious about contact with
disfellowshipped persons who have apostatized and
those who continue in their immoral conduct. (Titus 3:
10, 11; 1. John 2:19)
These can contaminate the congregation like gangrene.
(2. Tim 2:16-18)
The principle set forth in Jesus' words at Matthew 10:
34-38 has a bearing on situations involving disfellow-
shipped or disassociated relatives.
Special and difficult problems may arise in relation to
Loyal worshipers of Jehovah will want to adhere to the
inspired counsel at I Corinthians 5:11.
Normally, a close relative would not be disfellowshipped
for associating with a disfellowshipped person unless there
is spiritual association or an effort made to justify or
excuse the wrongful course.
UNIT 5 (a)
1. Which "wrong course" is the book referring to? What the DFed person was DFed for or the "wrong course" of the current JW talking to them? I've always assumed is was the former.
It seems that it is left ambiguous like that so that the WTS is not responsible for what the local elders decide. The wrongful course could be justifying speaking to the DF'ed one or the wrongful course could be saying that their DF was not right because of some excuse. To me, avoiding spiritual association would rule out even reasoning on the DF with the person. So to contrast the "spiritual association" with "or an effort made to justify the wrongful course" would mean something different such as simply arguing with the elders or others that it is okay to associate.
2. What's your experience with this issue: JWs getting caught talking to DFed close relatives?
Similar to ATJ (Hey, Paul Illingworth was my DO a long time ago) I remember no such cases proceeding all the way to a JC. We had investigations only if the association was brought to our attention and someone was acting shocked or stumbled. Generally, we simply calmed the accuser and it ended. Sometimes, I was on an investigation committee where we had to ask about association with a DF/DA person. We simply gave the member an opportunity to say the magic words: "You don't talk about spiritual things, do you?" "You don't discuss their attitude toward their disfellowshipping, do you?"
Everytime I was even near such a case, we gave the member every opportunity to weasle out of it. I never saw such a case come to a JC in my congregations. I heard of it elsewhere, but I assumed that someone was violating the rules and being rebellious about it.
Why the double standard? If the Mosaic Law had the PARENTS dragging their rebel child to the city gate and casting the first stone, why should it be any different among "God's Chosen People" (tm) today?
WTS really wants each member to feel that they should shun and that they chose to do so on their own. However, if they dragged everyone before a committee, then who is to say what necessary family business there is? If the elders decided such stuff, all the really good pioneers would be gone- older sisters that want association with their adult children or grandchildren.
There are those "apostates" that WTS wants cut off from family, though. Just ask Awakened @ Gilead about his mother.