What do non witnesses actually think about the evil practice of disfellowshipping?

by jambon1 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • daniel-p

    It's the single-most notable and important qualifyer of the religion as "weird and cult-like."

  • bigwilly

    My experiences have been much the same Jambon. Most of the persons I have to explain it to are people I date. My experience has been that most people have no schema for it. The entire idea that you would divorce a family member over something as ridiculous as which church they attend is unfathomable to them. Only within a cult would this type of behavior even be an option. I have known people who became strippers, drug addicts, criminals, etc that are still loved and accepted by their families, yet I am not because of a difference over my parents' imaginary friend

  • VIII

    I met a therapist recently at a funeral for my non-JW MIL. The therapist had lived across the street from my father after he left the JWs becoming DFd when I was a child. Long story short, she is treating another EX-JW who is DFd!! She was asking me numerous questions about the DFing process and the toll etc. it takes on one.

    I explained all. She was fascinated and disgusted. Her patient, she said, is having an extremely diffucult time being separated from her family. The shunning is taking a toll. That is what cults do. I told her to read up on cults and high control groups.

    Everyone who I have ever met who hears about the shunning process and the required cutting off of one's family is outraged and disgusted. They can't believe that such seemingly *nice* people who knock on their doors can do such cruel things to the people they are supposed to love and protect above all others. Family.

  • jamiebowers
    ...most people are absolutely horrified. In all honesty their reaction makes me feel embarrassed that I ever accepted this religion into my life.


  • undercover
    It's the single-most notable and important qualifyer of the religion as "weird and cult-like."

    As has been noted before, if the Society didn't disfellowship and force shunning, then the criticism of them by ex-members would be almost nil. The control that the Society uses to try to keep the "flock" in line...to the point of dictating who they can and cannot associate with is what creates such a backlash against them by former members.

  • poppers

    I've never been a witness and have no family who are/were. When I found out about disfellowshipping (after coming to this board to investigate JWs after a 4th grade girl wanted to hand out pamphlets to her classmates, which I denied her) I couldn't believe it. It was the heartbreaking stories arising from this practice that kept me coming back to the board. This board, for me, was like coming to a terrible accident on the highway, and you slow down and stare in disbelief despite the human carnage seen. How a human being can treat a fellow human with such cruelty in the name of "God" is beyond me. It goes against common sense and common decency and artificially creates division where none exists. That is my basic criticism of any religion, it creates separation by setting itself apart from everyone else whose views are different. But JWs have turned separation into a twisted and ugly art form because they see it as sanctioned by God, so therefore even cruelty becomes acceptable. Astounding, and very very sad.

    By the way, I stay here because of the wonderful and interesting people I've found, and I have great admiration and sympathy for those who struggle to extricate themselves from this evil religion.

  • Heaven

    Disfellowshipping is disgusting and disgraceful.

    They're totally misusing it, kicking out people who truly wish to improve things and keeping those that do not. Greenie, you nailed it when you said cruel and bizarre. I doubt it would work well as a marketting strategy.

  • teel

    Yet sometimes you hear/read stories that are presented in such a way, to have JWs think the outsiders agree on the shunning. I remember a case when someone who got DFd sued the congregation for the way they treated him, and it seems the court aknowledged the right of the group to outcast anyone who does not fit in. Be that as it may, I believe the judge in his heart felt it was wrong, but there is no law to force others to like someone. This is a social behaviour, and cannot be removed with laws.

    My story goes that my mother (non-JW) was very surprised when the sister of my mother-in-law (a JW) didn't come to my wedding. There were some minor excuses, but my mother could not believe those would stop anyone. I didn't dare to tell her that she's not coming because she's disfellowshipped, and others don't want her to come. When faced with the ugly truth of DF the vast majority of sensitive people would find it disgusting. Even being mostly conformant JW back then, I would not have stopped her from coming, she's close family.

  • LouBelle

    complete shock and horrorfication

  • boyzone

    Its probably been responsible for the single worst witness ever. Everyone who I 've explained the shunning to and the reasons for it have been disgusted with the Witnesses. Based on what I've explained, many of them now send them packing at the doors.

    Its the single most effective anti-witness topic ever.

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