by mesaluna 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • mesaluna

    any suggestion on how to resign as a JW?
    what would you say in your registration letter?
    what i wanna do is resign with NO question ask. i don't want elders asking me questions why I want to resign.

  • spectromize

    Dear Meseluna,

    Don't play the game, there is no need to resign. You have to understand the stigma that will be attached to you and the gossip that will go on in your cong. as far as a D.A. letter. The brothers and sisters won't show mercy or understand because they have been conditioned this way. What you need to do if you disagree with the society just simply let no one know your business. You don't want to lose your family, friends or others you care about. Because wants you've cut off the lines of communication as it will certainly happen to you if you send a D.A letter, you want to help see diffrent ones how hateful this practice is of shunning while you might have a problem accepting diffrent things for the society. By all means don't get trapped into playing this game. Just go away quietly and keep silence then nobody can label you and you will have more peace.

  • Seven

    Mesaluna-Interesting first post. My advice is to just walk away. No letter. No explainations. No apologies. Otherwise you will be treated like a leper by those you love and who have no control over their own lives.

  • waiting

    An older sister in our congregation wrote a DA letter, and it was announced from the platform that she "disassociated" herself. Then the brother just shook his head in disbelief - and then the whispers started.

    Whenever people don't know the facts, they will make up a suitable story to fit THEIR needs - in my opinion. Your needs will never be heard - they can't be - you're not part of the congregation anymore, and the congregation will be kept clean - at your expense.

    Do you have family in the truth? Do you have friends in the truth? Do you really want to be shunned as an apostate for the rest of your life?

    My husband and I have a legal case against our elders and appealled to the Society for help before making it a legal matter. We thought our situation was unique. How were we to know that silence from the Society is the norm instead of the exception? We started to write further - and then I discovered the Internet and saw that others have been treated basically the same - or worse.

    For good or bad, we have drawn our "bull horns" in and will be quiet - and if we choose, walk away quietly. Some in our family have been Witnesses for 60 years and would never understand our feelings. In our opinion, we do not want to hurt our families, and we want to talk and laugh with them as long as we're all alive.

    Pride is a dangerous thing - and when you make a point just to prove you feel you are right, the fall can seem like it lasts a life time. Be careful and think before you act.

  • overthehillgrandma

    I am sorry to hear this.......
    what can I say..are you sure? do you need to talk? can we help?...

  • RedhorseWoman


    I agree with Spectromize and SevenofNine....just walk away. Being inactive carries no stigma, and there is no need to play by someone else's rules.

    Also, if you have family or friends who are still active, you won't have to be cut out of their lives.

    If you are questioned about your inactivity, just stress that you need some time to think about things and that you don't want to be pressured.

    I'm sure this must be tough for you to deal with. I hope we can help.

  • gitasatsangha

    I've done both. Walking away is the simpler option, at least to begin with. However you may find you have uncomfortable moments if Elders try to go on shepherding calls. Then again that might not be a problem for you. You might also find at some point in the future you have found a new religion you want to be a part of, and need the closure of severing all ties, both apparent and otherwise, with the Watchtower.

    Personally speaking my note was very simple. I wrote to HQ stating that I was no longer a member of Jehovah's Witnesses. I also stated that I, for my part, was not dissassociating with anyone. If the JW's choose to call that dissaociation, well that is up to them, I suppose. After that the only other thing I did was to say that I wanted no further contact from the Jehovah's Witnesses officially, except a confirmation of the letter. The latter part might seem rude, but I basically did not to waste anyone's time having two elders I didn't even know come to knock at my door and blather about armageddon.

    Best of luck to you, any way you decide.


  • Swan

    Dear Meseluna and Gitasatsangha,


  • Gamaliel

    I wouldn't resign if I were you. (Actually I did resign, but only due to special circumstances which I suspect would not be true of your case. Also because in my case there was a very wide net in a witchhunt that had a chance of hurting a lot of other people if I didn't resign to give them an excuse to end it with me.)

    When you resign:

    • You are basically saying, "I would like to make it easier for you to hurt me to a greater extent than you would be able to hurt me if I just tried to leave quietly."
    • You are saying that you recognize the legitimacy of their club's rules and that you therefore understand that you are bringing upon yourself the expected unchristian treatment.
    • You are making it easier for them to act in an unchristian manner.
    • You are knowingly putting yourself in a situation which makes it difficult to do good or provide materially or work with friends and relatives who are still in.
    • You are usually making it more difficult to help other people out who may have more easily been able to approach you in the future with their own reservations about the religion.
    • You may be unnecessarily taking food away from your families table if you are a material provider/breadwinner by jeopardizing future business relationships with any Jehovah's Witnesses.

    If for your own conscientious reasons you still wish to resign, and you want no questions asked. Then a very simple statement will do. I would try to throw them off a bit with something they don't really know how to handle. The following is one I though of using myself, but it wasn't true enough of my own situation, because I didn't think it likely they would ever fix enough of their problems for me to make the resignation temporary.

    Dear Brothers,

    Due to information I have become aware of recently, I am temporarily suspending my membership in the Organization until further notice. I am doing this to avoid any situation where I might be asked to reveal this information which I believe could cause disruption, division or even stumbling to any other members of the Organization who may also become aware of it. I believe that if any other of Jehovah's Witness, even those in leadership positions, were to become fully aware of this information, they also would be very likely to leave the Organization. Therefore, out of love for my fellow brothers, and to avoid stumbling others or causing any disruptions or divisions, I am temporarily resigning from the Organization until further notice.

    Your brother,

    xxxxxxx xxxxxx

  • Gerard

    Just write them that you don't want to play with them aymore. When you have to get out, get out and don't look back.

    You can always put a restraining order on members of your KH if they want to invade your privacy.

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