My Dad was disfellowshipped before I was born, but my parents remained married for 22 years. They had other issues to deal with besides his disfellowshipping though(his infidelities and drinking problem).
I never understood why my JW friends(few and far between mind you) would never come over on the weekends he was home (he was an ironworker and would often work during the week and be home on the weekends, or every other weekend). I remember one time my brother's JW friend was spending the weekend at our place and my Dad happened to come home that same weekend. Even at a young age this kid did not say 2 words to my Dad, and looked at my Dad like he was terrified of him.
I actually found it beneficial growing up with a parent "in" and the other "out". I was allowed to play with other "worldly" kids in the neighbourhood, or from school. Whereas my hubby's parents were both "in" and he had a much much more strict upbringing.
On the other hand though, from my Mom's point, I'm sure she felt quite alone, but she always went out of her way to be the helpful one, but because she had a df'd spouse, she was never a part of the clique of Elderettes or MS'ettes. Even now she is remarried, to a MS, and she is still the very helpful one, for which I am glad. She is always helping the older folks in the Cong. and going out of her way to assist the ones that aren't in those cliques.
Another thing about my Mom, is that she has always put her family and children first. Even above the Jw's. All of her kids (3 including myself) do not go to the hall, 2 of us have children out of wedlock, and all 3 of us lead lifestyles which would usually be cause for a spiritual pummeling. But she loves her grandchildren very much, she comes to visit Will and I even though we are not married, and she never, ever discusses her JW views with us. It is kind of an unwritten rule between her and us, we just don't talk about it. I have tried in the past, when the child abuse cases were in the news, but it fell on deaf ears, and I just learned to drop it.
My Mom is the only one left in our family that is "in". I once had hopes of her leaving, but that was before she remarried. Now I'm afraid, it's a done deal. Unfortunately for me, my Mom's constant source of comfort and support thoughout her bad marriage to my Dad, were the JW's. It has kept her happy *shrug* I dunno...She nows how I feel, so I think that if she were ever to make the plunge and leave, I would be the first one she would come to.
She's happy and pretty normal, so I just let her be. Someday, maybe, but I am not holding my breath.