The antidote for Toxic people in your life...

by Gregor 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Gregor

    As a person who does not believe in an afterlife, I appreciate that my years are numbered and I am going to do my best not to waste them. I have resolved to rid myself of Toxic relationships. Do have them in your life?

    * Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. The toxic person is a family member, friend, associate, workmate, boss, etc. Toxic people come in all shapes and forms as they know no boundaries.

    * Realize that until you stop allowing a toxic person to hurt you and your life, they will continue to do so.

    * The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience.

    * Realize that toxic people can drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to move away from toxic people and move towards people who are positive and uplifting. Positive people are a blessing. Rely on your instincts, they never lie. Train yourself to move away from what hurts you and move towards what feels good. This is one of the smartest life skills you can learn, and also one of the best gifts you can ever give to yourself.

    Of course, I appreciate that some people may have put me on their "Toxic" list. This has finally made me realize that I need to do the same with them. When relationships are mutually toxic then the last one to realize it is the loser. But it is never too late to cut your losses.

    I feel better already.

  • Satanus

    Sounds good. When you have had toxic parents, it's tougher to break out of the loop. Insticts are to go w what a person knows. Total self honesty might be the key to breaking the toxic cycle.


  • bluecanary

    I absolutely agree with this Gregor, and since you brought it up, I want to draw a distinction between removing toxic people from your life and shunning as practised by the JWs. When you decide to stop associating with a toxic person it is becuase of the negative, draining effect they have on YOU. It is usually due to an issue that you have brought to their attention, but they are unable or unwilling to change. At this point you must protect yourself and do what is healthy for you. If you run into them in the future, you are polite. You hope they get their life together, but you're not willing to keep sacrificing your own sanity while they're not even working trying to fix things.

    This is different from shunning because the group you belong to tells you that you must. It is different than cutting someone out of your life because you disagree with the choices they've made when those choices have no effect on you. It's different from refusing to even speak to someone because they hold a different religious view.

    There are times when it's good to stop associating with someone. Friendship is NOT unconditional. You have the responsibility to nurture yourself and not let anyone walk all over you.

  • journey-on

    I call these people psychic vampires. Their intention when interacting is always of a negative nature, but they cloak it in righteous indignation. I know a few people like this, and I stay as far away from them as possible. When you allow yourself to be used by them for the sick gratification they get when they stir the sh*t pot, you feel psychically drained and dirty like you just came in contact with something evil and smelly. Toxic indeed!


    I`ve only known a few Spiritual Vampires..

    They will suck they life out of anyone around them..

    I put the last one out of my life weeks ago..

    Life is much better..


  • JimmyPage

    Their intention when interacting is always of a negative nature, but they cloak it in righteous indignation.

    Bingo! Sounds like my sister-in-law. And yes I keep her out of my life.

  • WTWizard

    The most toxic Being: God.

    Given a chance, He will make everything you do what He tells you. And you will never have any fulfillment doing what that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag tells you to. Worse, He will alter your circumstances, preventing you from just going ahead and doing what you want anyways--like making the opposite sex unreceptive when you want to become involved instead of being exploited by a religion, preventing you from finding a job when you do everything right, or sapping your health to keep you distressed (so He can hawk His "salvation" and "deliverance" scams subject to your obeying Him).

    Religious organizations come very close in toxicity, and especially the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger of the Washtowel Slaveholdery.

  • FlyingHighNow

    I don't put up with it. I tell anyone they need to speak with respect or not speak to me at all. No ifs, ands or butts.

  • FlyingHighNow

    God isn't toxic. Men make him into a toxic being to control you.

  • FlyingHighNow

    Lately, I've put my foot down with my JW sister and my daughter.

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