My life changing dilemma

by teel 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • undercover

    cortiz the killer

  • jamiebowers

    Whatever you do, don't bring inocent children into this nightmare! A successful marriage depends on love and compromise. You aren't getting the love or the compromise, because your wife is putting a publishing company before you. If you two are discussing havin children, you can't be that old. Cut your losses and look elsewhere for happiness.

  • Farkel


    Take off your caps lock key next time as that is the equivalent of shouting and those who shout the loudest are usually the ones who are wrong.


  • dogisgod

    Ily feel for you and hope that if she will not go to counseling that you will treat yourself as the valuable man you are and go for yourself. When I was divorced I did not look forward to "being alone" but I found myself good company and I think the happier you WILL become will be very attractive to some wonderful thinking woman. When you have someone with somekind of mental illness combined with mind control it will not bode well for your future to be happy. It would only get worse. Just start with counseling and the great reading you are doing and keep us posted. Just wondering, can you move to another town? A new start with new people can be better than trying to reactivate people you have let go.

  • teel

    Thanks again for all your responses (minus the thread hijacking one ). Here are the newest developments: after a long and hard talk with her, we agreed to give it one more try. I have laid before her my plan - after making her promise not to talk about that to anyone -, and she was ok with it.

    My plan is simply to scrutinize every single bit of information I can find about WT and its teachings. Now I have found out that WTS uses brainwashing techniques; it fits perfectly in the pattern described by impartial psychologists, who weren't looking to talk against WTS. So I bought two books for starters that I mentioned earlier - Hassan's Combatting Cult Mind Control and Brainwashing - The Science of Thought Control by Kathleen Taylor. By studying the ways of achieving mind control and the psychological effects of it on myself I hope to be able to free my mind and prepare fo any further attempts. After I reached that point, I am going to go in a Bible study - not the JW kind, but a somewhat academic one, to find out what parts of JW doctrine are truly based on the Bible, and what can be discarded. I will most probably be using this forum too for views on certain elements. My point is that the WTS may be using brainwashing, but that alone is not a reason for me to denounce their teachings as false (this is an argueable position, but this is my view). I have already read oppinions on some of the teachings, and there is information in even the most biased one, that's why I try to objectively study all evidence, coming from Watchtower and their opponents alike, and everything in between. I do not think that I will find the one and only Truth, but hopefully I will clean up my beliefs, and change anything that is not my own, but was put in there forcefully. This way when I'm held accountable in front of God (or any higher entity), the errors will be mine alone.

    Quite interrestingly my wife said that such an investigation should be acceptable with God, as long as I'm seeking for the truth. She is confident that the result of such deep investigation can only have one outcome. I told her this is not a voyage of weeks, it can easily take years, and even if I find enough truths to call myself a JW, I will not be a typical one. This will be a hard work, to gain back my intellectual freedom, and I'm not going to give it away again so easily. Yet she's ok with all that, and she said even if I'm DFd she will still be with me, although she said if that happens, she might try not to be too attached to me, so that she's not too sorry when Armageddon comes. So she's back now, and basically I try to be the best husband to her, to make any eventual future choice on her part easier

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