Is there encouragement and hope for the disfellowshipped?

by Butterflyleia85 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  undercover

  Is there encouragment and hope for the disfellowshipped?

  From the Society or the local congregation? Not really. You're being punished. You're being shunned. This is to teach you a lesson and to scare you into not disobeying orders again.

  ...and I don't want to hear something that is "tickling my ears".

  You won't get that here, I promise you.

  If you haven't surmised by now, this is a primarily ex-JW board. Many here have gone through the pain of DFing and being shunned. They can relate to your feelings.

  What many of them have done, though, is to research the teachings and doctrines of the WT society independant of the Society's publications. This has opened their eyes to the fact that this religion is a high control group.

  DFing is not a "loving provision from Jehovah". It is a tactic used to keep followers in line or scare them back in line.

  If you crave spiritual food, read the Bible. Read it and come to understand it on its own merit, not on what other people tell you it says.

  If you really want to be reinstated, then follow the rules and you'll be reinstated in a few months. But do yourself a favor and do some research on the Society and JWs before getting sucked back in.
• 

  Butterflyleia85

  Elders words I will never forget and have a hard time agreeing with...

  I can't see how someone can say they want to help you and then turn their back on you.

  Their suggestions were:

  "Go to a councilor, you will get depressed and I suggest a councilor" after telling me I have been disfellowshiped (the first time).

  "We need to protect the congregation" but what about the sheep that wondered off and needs incouragement while I was in. This statement was made when I get disfellowshipped (the second time).

  Oh and as I and my elders are standing outside the meeting waiting on the second dicision by the second group of elders... one tells me "I'm sorry we did all we could to help you ... this is all we can do for you" (geez it felt like they were giving up on me)

  Honestly I feel the Elders don't want me back. I would love to but how can I. I spent over a year going to all the meetings and three letters the first time getting back in how long will it be the second.

  I don't agree with disfellowshipment as a way to help turn a person but push them to suicide or self abuse or rage. I seen it and it's sad.

  I don't understand why it was so wrong to have wonderful and good people as friends out side of being a JW. (Still after JW statements on association.) My fiance who is not in any religion is the only one who brought me out of my self misery. (I meet less then a year) That's sad someone who bearly knows me loves and cares for me and Elders and JW Friends who judge and are held back after a life time of being so close.

  Elders are not be hide close doors how do they have the right to judge accurately. I know judging is good to a point. I don't hang out with drug addictics or murders or abusers. But after I was disfellowshiped they ask you if you are associating with anyone.

  I can't live as a hermit!!

  I just think there has to be a better way of going about wrong doers that asked for forgiveness, repented and remorsed over their wrong doing... and above all want and need true guidence by God.

  Thanks for you guys input and suggestions. I will read each one carefully and take time in understand the best motive with the Bible and Prayer.
• 

  yknot

  Butterflyleia

  Your feelings are spot on..... and you are not alone.

  If Bonafide ever comes around (he is doing some email project) he has offered to accept anyone's publisher card and to fake a reinstatement.

  Beyond that if you want to live in Dubbieworld you gotta play by Dubbie rules.

  At least counseling was suggested! So many have suffered in silence.

  Read the Elder manual, attend faithfully and after 6 months figure out which poster you wanna have help you write your reinstatement request.

  Until then you shouldn't live as a hermit.......live your life to the moral fullest. If you haven't gone to college..... www.fafsa.edu.gov start here by filling out the financial aid papers! Start with a class or two!....It is all the rage secretly!

  Start posting here for extra socialization from people who understand!

  I look forward to your future imput into the discussions!
• 

  Norcal_Sun

  Hello Leia,

  Welcome! I think you will find a lot of interesting resources here. I think you will find that these former witnesses are far from the apostates we have been warned against our whole lives (I was raised a witness too). They are good people who could not bring themselves to live a lie and practice a religion they could not prove to themselves. We are taught our whole lives to make the truth our own and read the bible daily. But eventually when we grow up we have to revisit this and make a true decision on what we believe - not what our friends and family believe.

  A research topic that I found interesting was the Biblical basis for disfellowshipping. You may have to review other bible translations and outside sources from the WT to get the full research on the matter.

  I particularly found it interesting that the only scripture used to explain why disfellowshipped ones are not even to be greeted is found at 2 John 10, which if you read a few verses up at verse 7 you will find that the scripture is speaking of the Antichrist, which obviously does not apply to all sinners.

  Other scriptures of note are Matthew 18:15-17 (it would help to reference how Jesus treated tax collectors), 2 Thessalonians 3:6, 14-15, Romans 16:17. You might want to look them up in a few different translations as well. I personally see these scriptures as describing someone being under public reproof, not being shunned from the congregation and forbidden to speak with their family.

  When/If you read the elder book, take note of the disfellowshipping offenses and which ones are not based on the Bible.

  Anyway I hope you can glean some information from the suggestions posted, and I also hope that you stick around and give us your two cents :)
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  You are doing well to understand how wrong disfellowshipping is. You may need to go further and learn that other things in the Watchtower Organization are wrong also. So sorry about your pain and isolation from those that you thought might be able to comfort you.

  All the elders have to offer members of the religion is the following advice in any situation:

  YOU NEED TO DO MORE FOR JEHOVAH (really for the Watchtower).
  YOU NEED TO DO MORE MEETING ATTENDANCE, PRAYING, BIBLE and WATCHTOWER READING, FIELD SERVICE.

  Think about it, that's all they can offer as advice. If a member was accused of murder, they would say to trust Jehovah to vindicate them and to pray and read more.

  So there's not much they can offer to someone who strays from their rules. Enjoy your life and learn your moral values somewhere else. Great to hear your thoughts.
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  Spike Tassel

  you have a PM.
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  nelly136

  if you did the same thing to get disfellowshipped that you did before it could take longer to get back in this time as it will look like you didnt learn from it last time.

  apealing their decision could make it longer.....not humble/repentant to apeal.

  ****Honestly I feel the Elders don't want me back.**** umm depending on how well your face fits.....you could be right.
• 

  Spike Tassel

  I think it takes loving interest from others to learn right.
• 

  oompa

  in your last post....did i hear you say you felt you did something wrong, asked for forgiveness, repented, and felt remorse????.............and i assume you expressed this got god right?...........yet for some reason you also felt the need to express this repentence three men in a back room?...........not once but twice this last time?............and then you did it once before the first time you were kicked to the curb???

  you are kind of a slow learner eh?...lol.............sorry, if you can not laugh sometimes you will cry even more...........i thought it was supposed to be about a "close personal relationship with god"???............it is not an orgy relationship dammit!....you dont need other sinful men to determine if you are flukkin sorry or not!!!!............i hope you bond even closer with your fiancee, and finally see that you should not care what these self-righteous men in the hall think about you.....they prob do wish you would go away.....you are now a reappearing stain.....oompa

  so to your question..........YES there is encouragement and hope for the disfellowshipped.......but it is FAR away from kindom halls....and unfortunately can result in some pain if you lose friends and family over it......but that is not your fault they are so judgemental....it gets better with long term poontang and nice inlaws..............

  go in peace, your sins are fogiven....
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  Spike Tassel

  That wouldn't set the right example of love for the brothers who need to be molded by Jehovah's love still. I have the same challenge where I'm at as Leia does.