I was just asked to perform a civil union.....

by AK - Jeff 19 Replies latest jw experiences


    Make it simple..

    You take him?.....Yep!

    You take Her..Yep!

    Done Deal!!..Lets Party!!


  • straightshooter

    Sounds like everything is legal, so just use what parts you want from avishai's outline.

    As for the JW tattle-tailing to the elders that would be sad.

    But since you, the groom, and the bride are not jws then it should not really matter.

  • HappyDad


    If the divorce isn't complete yet.......isn't that called Bigamy? Do you want to be a party to something like this. You have been very "staunch" about many other things, why not this?

    CYOA my friend. I would think twice about officiating this union even if it isn't registered.


  • avishai

    It's not a "legal ceremony" so bigamy would'nt be involved.

  • jamiebowers

    If the exjw bride's family tattles to the elders about the groom's divorce not being final, wouldn't they also be tattling on themselves for failing to shun an exjw?

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Yes - technically bigamy would not enter in, as this would not be a marriage. Law would be violated if I signed the marriage license for instance. But of course we would not do that. What the couple would do, is to legalize before a judge as soon as the divorce is complete. Basically, this ceremony would be a statement of committment followed by their moving in together. Since I no longer suscribe to the religious views that prevail, I have no problem with this morally. These people wish to commit to one another, whether married or not. Life is too short to allow legal wranglings with an exwife to prevent it IMO. As far as that goes, they will be monogamous, and committing with vows to each other. If God is looking on at all, he should be pleased with that. The rules of Jwism, as well as Christianity in general don't come to play for me nowadays - human morality is important, but not defined by religion.

    What happened is that the groom inherited his mother's house when she died. The x decides at the last moment that she wants part of that inheritance, and so delays the final divorce decree another 6 months.

    As far as Jw involvement goes - the 'bride' is a Jw in name only, having never Da'd. So this 'ceremony' would tell her family that she is moving in with the guy. In the jw playbook this becomes 'adultery' of course. They will know that they are not married per se. I would avoid the specific use of the word marriage I think, since this is not a legal wedding. I expect the Jw family would go back to the elders about it. I am sure she would expect them to df her. She does not care, except that it may impact her relationship with her aging mother. I think she just wants to get on with life.


  • wobble

    Good luck Jeff,with the ceremony,and good luck to the happy couple for the future, I thinkit is lovely that they wish to do this.

    I have just heard that the Dubs wish to DF a couple called Joseph and Mary,coz they havn't had a KH wedding and Mary is pregnant !



  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I just may look into ordination. I have had a couple of requests over the time since I left the Jw's to perform weddings.

    This church allows any belief system for it's ordained ministers;


    I don't know how to go about confirming the validity of it's ordinations however. Avishai?


  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Try my GET REAL vows .........{Husband} "Do you promise to leave the toilet seat down, go to the store for Tampons, and love your mother in-law? "I DO."

    {Wife} "Do you promise to let him put his feet on the coffee table, let him scratch his nuts, and on occasions fake your Orgasm......I DO!

    "I now pronounce you imprisoned together till you die with regrets....you may now kiss you life goodbye."

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Well - I am officially an ordained minister now. Not the direction I was intending to take.

    I have noted that my interpretation of 'minister' is totally changed once I began to consider it - I am surprised as I had given almost zero thought to that since leaving.

    Holy Healing Batman!


Share this