Do you have GOSSIPERS and those with STRONG PERSONALITIES that "control" the congregation?

by BonaFide 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • BonaFide

    I have seen this. I bet a lot of others have, and its strange how so many are POWERLESS to do anything.

    One sister I know was married to another JW. He was unfaithful, she was crushed, he wasn't disfellowshipped, she forgave him, he was cruel, finally she committed adultery to get out of it. They divorced. Now they are in separate congregations. He starts to trash her name to all his friends, and his new girlfriend, who is a Witness. Since he has a strong personality, anytime one of the elders says something to him about it he says, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? SHE IS A LIAR. HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME. YOU COULD BE REMOVED FOR FALSE ACCUSATIONS!!!" No one in that Hall dares stand up to him because he LOVES those meetings in the back room where he raises his voice, intimidates possible witnesses, and gets his way talking about how "He wants to focus on the ministry and people are trying to stop him."

    Another couple I know did something similar. They would hang out with someone in the Hall for awhile, introducing personal information about brothers and sisters in the Hall under the guise of "worrying about their spirituality." Then, when the person said they didn't feel comfortable about that, they would go to the elders and accuse THEM of gossiping. They would quote scriptures, be very evasive when questioned, talk about Jehovah, and yell at the person who said they were gossiping. Even the circuit overseer couldn't control them.

    They use their STRONG PERSONALITY to intimidate those that are trying to be "obedient" to the Organization and be "humble." They imply that they are the spiritual ones, when in reality, they are just the loud, pushy ones who derive joy from controlling others.

    The older ones stay away from them, and tell the younger ones to "wait on Jehovah." The controlling ones have get-togethers where they exclude those not in the group. They comment at the meetings about gossip, and how bad it is. If someone accuses them of gossip, they counter-accuse them of SLANDER. They are VERY NICE to certain elders, and NEVER gossip to them, so that the elders are in disagreement when they meet about them. The elders would never admit that someone is controlling the congregation anyway, because the elders are the ones who give the talks and conduct the meetings, right?

    Have you ever seen this in a congregation? Not the regular mean gossips that every congregation has, but the CONTROLLING, ACCUSING, POWERFUL gossips that rule the Hall and smash down those with weaker personalities?

    Yes, this applies to both brothers and sisters.


  • stillajwexelder

    No - I have never experienced this in any congregation I have attended.

  • bluecanary
    They use their STRONG PERSONALITY to intimidate those that are trying to be "obedient" to the Organization and be "humble." They imply that they are the spiritual ones, when in reality, they are just the loud, pushy ones who derive joy from controlling others.

    Hell yes, I know these people! They are almost always sisters. These sisters have a strong desire for power and this is the only way they can get it. I hated themwhen I was a kid. My mother was an introvert, yet somehow she always ended up friends with these nasty people.

  • BonaFide

    In one congregation I remember a brother and a sister who did this. But one of the older elders said it wasn't true. He had been in service with them on Sundays occasionally, and he said they were very nice. He couldn't understand how people were accusing them of gossiping, he thought they were wonderful. When the C.O. finally talked to the pioneers in private, dozens of examples poured out.


  • Jadeen

    Hell yeah, that describes the local congregation where I'm at. I remember one Thursday meeting where the worst offender in the hall got that talk part. My mom and i just looked at each other, "She's giving this part, counseling others not to gossip?!" Oh, and a friend of mine was telling me about how when her daughter was 10 and went out in service with a regular pioneer and the gossip family, she came home and never wanted to go out in service again because of all the slamming of people in the congregation.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    Ex in laws. Wife would stir crap up and then sick her husband PO on them. His favorite line when his accusaions were denied was "Am I a liar?". Total power trip

  • highdose

    are you kidding!? in my experiance this WAS the congregation! one big mass of controling gossips. people who lived such sad cramped lives the only outlet they had was to make someone elses misrable too.

    never mind the endless local needs talks about it, it all went in one ear and out the other!

    i knew some brothers who could sit there all evening and do a charater assingation on every person in the hall, needless to say they good a really good kick out of it!

  • darkl1ght3r

    Yes I have. I can think of several people who fit the bill. I also had the EXACT same experience as wha happened.

  • straightshooter

    Never experienced a congregation like that. Feel sorry for those that are surrounded by such hateful gossip.

  • bluecanary

    As a Witness, you know that very few people are going to be acceptable to God. Even within the congregation, you know there will be those who will fall away from the faith and won't make it through Armageddon. It becomes important to measure yourself against those surrounding you. Somebody has to be saved, and if you are better than all the people you know, it might as well be you. So it helps to look for the negative and put people down and get them in trouble. Your chances of getting into the new system go up.

Share this