What's the best way to reason with and help your wife to give up her JW religion?

by lifelong humanist 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • isaacaustin
    isaacaustin

    wow. It sure tears families apart!

    So she still beleives and will end up going back?

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    Doubt she'll go back. She has a close relationship with her DF sister. Something she couldn't do as a JW.

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    Depends on her reaction when you talk about dub doctrine. If she is willing to listen and talk about it, great.

    If she recoils in horror, let it alone.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Have you read Steve Hassan's second book, "Releasing the Bonds"? If not, and your goal is to help your wife out, I would read this book.

    You'll learn that speaking to your wife's JW personality is futile. Only when communicating with the authentic personality can progress by made. There is no simple answer that works for everyone, however. We're all very unique.

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    The Watchtower doesn't teach loving your apostate husband. How could a spouse love someone who is:

    1. Enemy of God

    2. Spawn of Satan

    3. Evil

    4. Dog that has returned to its vomit

    Would you fall out of love too?

  • wobble
    wobble

    "We're all very unique" . I'm not . (after Monty Python, see "Life of Brian")

    Love,

    Wobble

    p.s good luck to all trying to get loved ones out.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    I'm very sorry to hear that, sacolton.

  • Beta Male
    Beta Male

    i have to deal with "pity" all the time. so condescending.

    IF ONLY I could believe in talking snakes, water into blood etc, all would be cool.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    JWs usually give up their extra curricular life when they join. How many active JWs, especially women, truly have a hobby other than the WTS? Going to all meetings, service, and raising a family leave no time. They loose their individuality, relaced with the "we" on the Friends against the "worldly".

    Make her feel unique and special. If she has a dream of doing something, say dancing or painting, YOU take an interest in it and beg/plead her to do it with you. (empahsis on HER interest). Even if you have to say, "I need you to come to this ballroom dancing class WITH me. I'm such a klutz..." or, "I need you to come take this art class with me at the local school. I don't want to go alone..." Check your community colleges and high schools. Most have an adult education schedule and offer classes for the cheap.

    Some female psychology is that most women will go if they feel they are "needed/motherly" to help you face the situation. Just like most men are motivated to help women solve a problem. "Honey, I have a problem getting this lid opened....(my husband comes a running)"

    Make sure the class is not on a meeting night, so she does not feel it as a threat. You'll get her out of the house, she'll make new friends, and explore her own talents. If you feel pushback, say "God gave us interests and talents, and it's blasphemy to not explore those interests and talents to His glory. Even the Williams sisters use their talen to promote Jehovah in Tennis."

  • lifelong humanist
    lifelong humanist

    leavingwt

    Thanks for your recommendation for Steven Hassan's second book - I've just ordered both of his titles from Amazon.UK. 'Releasing the Bonds' is rather expensive, so I've gone for a second hand copy, although if it works, the money will be well worth it!

    Like you, I have my Beatles CDs in the car and often listen to them - now I understand why you have the Paul McCartney photo under your posting name!

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